


MacGyver: Making Something Out of Nothing

by Macgyverlocked (Sherlockedd)



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Chewing gum, Happy Mother’s Day, Heavy - Freeform, Hurt!Mac, I Prevail, Let Me Be Sad, Multi, Novice, Ponytail, Protective!Jack, Rough cut, Songfic, Striped Curtain, Tattoo, Thunder - Freeform, Tin Can, black ink, inner workings, no time, pegs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 14:46:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 91,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15642930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherlockedd/pseuds/Macgyverlocked
Summary: Each chapter is a Writing Prompt I’ve used to create a MacGyver story. Title of the Chapter is the prompt used. Please read and review and if you have any prompts for me to try feel free to let me know!





	1. Tin Can

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Tin Can

“Tin can.” Jack deadpanned.

“Yeah Jack! Tin can! You know the the things you probably used as a kid to make a phone?” Mac snapped from his position under the tank.

“Hey hey! There is no need for cracks about my age, I’m just wondering where you expect me to find a tin can in the Fort Knox of army bases.” Jack snarked.

As he argued with his partner he crossed the cement floor, searching diligently for a tin can. Never did he consider looking for anything else. With Mac usually if he asked for something specific, there was a reason for it. It saved time and a hell of a headache if he just followed Mac’s directions. 

Riley had learned that on her first mission with Mac without Bozer or himself there as a translator. The blond agent had asked for a penny specifically and instead of looking she had grabbed a copper pipe. She had been given a strict dressing down that had left her teary with guilt and back with a penny in less than a minute after that. Mac had avoided her for a week after that. The poor thing had thought he was mad at her whilst he had thought she was mad at him, and unsure if she would welcome an apology. Jack had finally stepped in and literally wrestled his partner into a room with her and made them talk. Mac had blushed and stuttered out an apology before Riley had stopped him. There was a tense moment and Riley had walked quickly towards the blond, Jack had jumped forward to keep her from doing anything to him, but all she had done was pull him into a tight hug. The kids pathetically confused expression to the ex delta force operative over her shoulder had had him falling back in a chair laughing. 

“It wasn’t a crack on your age Jack, I had a tin can phone.” He grunted from whatever he was creating. The former delta decided not to mention that the phone idea had probably come from his grandfather, because that so didn’t help the age crack issue.

“Yeah yeah alright.” He poked around in the trash can he’d found next to the single desk and chair in the large room. “I’ll be damned.” He said, there at the bottom of the trash was a tin can.

“It’s an out of the way army base, of course there are tin cans.” MacGyver yelled, voice faintly smug and amused.

“We are sassy today aren’t we?” Jack snarked bringing the can over to the tank and passed it to his friends waiting hand.

“Trying not to die will do that to a person.” He responded dryly before gagging.

“What is it?” Jack asked irritation dropping.

“Ugh, I think this was corn. I hate corn.” Mac replied in disgust as a screeching noise started. Jack wrinkled his eyebrows curiously.

“Dude have I ever told you you’re weird?” He asked the kid.

“What? We can't digest it anyway and it tastes weird. There is absolutely no reason for corn!”

“One word for you, popcorn.” There was a pause.

“Well you have me there. No place for fresh corn then.” He replied thoughtfully sliding out from under the tank and sitting up.

“I’ll have to disagree with you there too, buddy.” He reached down absently and tugged his friend to his feet. Mac clapped his hands together to get the dust off, before pulling a rag from his pocket and cleaning the oil off them. He squinted at the tank, wheels turning in his head as he considered if there was anything else that needed doing. He shook his head and looked back at Jack.

“Alright, we should be able to use the tank to break open the back wall.” Jack pgave a double take but made no comment, leading the way up the side of the tank and inside it.

“Do you have the package?” Mac tapped his coat and the older agent closed the hatch of the tank while his partner moved to the front to take over the controls.

After a little trial and error he had them moving to the back of the hanger. Nearing the wall he pushed a couple more buttons and pulled the lever near his left hand. A red laser beam shot from the end of the tank. It burned straight through the wall. He cut a huge chunk out and used the tank to push it out. The large vehicle climbed over the metal and brick easily and they were out in a field. Mac cranked it as fast as it could go in the direction of the pickup area. He’d disabled their other vehicles so they’d be long gone by the time they caught up. He certainly wouldn’t be leaving the tank for them either. He whooped as they made it out, Jack cheered with him and came up holding him by his shoulders.

“Good job Mac!” He praised and then laughed. “I can’t wait to see Bozer’s face when I tell him you broke out of a building using a laser from a tank.” 

Mac coughed and blushed, not looking at his friend who’s face dropped.

“What?” The kid shook his head smiling.

“Are you...this isn’t...you’ve done this before?” Mac shrugged sheepishly.

“Oh now I need this story.”


	2. Novice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Writing Prompt: Novice

Cars screeched around the corner, the finish line within sight. The crowd roared as the cars sped side by side. It seemed that the car on the left would take the race but the one on it’s right veered into it at the last second and bumped its side. The tires squealed and the vehicle spun out of control as the other went across the line. Winner and Loser flashed on the screen followed by a whoop.

“That’s how that’s done!” Jack Dalton yelled jumping from the couch, the controller in his hand swinging dangerously. His competition in the game and best friend in life leapt up and rescued the controller from his hand.

“You break another controller and I won’t be able to save you from Bozer.” MacGyver said with a huff and roll of his eyes. He set the controller down to safety and lounged back on the couch.

“What, can’t stand to lose again?” Jack teased flopping down next to him and looked sideways at him. 

“We’ve been playing for three hours. I feel like my mind is turning to goo.” The blond complained staring up at the ceiling absently.

“That’ll never happen brother, and I expected you to win once. You said you’d played before, I expected better than noob level from you?” Jack continued.

Mac had a look that Jack didn’t quite catch before his face morphed into another laugh. “Noob? Is that a technical term?”

“Come on you must know what it means? Didn’t millennials coin the term?” The younger agent kept a politely blank look on his face and the ex delta operative launched into an explanation.

“It’s like being new at something like...rookie, amatuer.” He ticked his fingers as he spook. “Oh! I know one your preppy brain will like, Novice.” He snapped his fingers at the last one.

Mac shook with silent laughter. They both barely glanced over when the front door opened and shut.

“I’m home!” Bozer yelled before stepping into the room arms loaded down with grocery bags. Hopefully this batch wouldn’t go bad if they randomly got called for a mission. He still hadn’t mastered the art of buying day by day.

“As a video game nerd, how could you not teach Mac what noob means?” Was Jack’s response to their teammate. There was a loud thump and then Bozer appeared from the kitchen with a confused look. He glanced between them and smirked.

“Jack, Mac’s messing with you. He knows what a noob is.” Then he looked over his shoulder at the tv. “You’re calling him a noob over NASCAR racing? Have you seen the high score bar?” He leaned against the wall amused.

Jack looked between the two of them with disbelief. “No, no way. I’ve won every single round. You’re messing with me!”

He picked up the controller and tapped the keys urgently. When the top score screen popped up, all ten places were held by MacGyver. He turned to gape at the kid who continued to smirk at him.

“Why do you let me win then?” He asked baffled.

“Jack, I love you but you are the worst loser I’ve ever met.” Mac clapped him on his shoulder and stood to help his roommate with the groceries, leaving his friend to stew.

“I want a rematch! A real one!” The offended voice followed him outside to the vehicles.”

“Thanks for that.” MacGyver playfully glared at Bozer.

“You shouldn’t have told him about my chocolate stash.” Bozer piled the bags in his arms and left his friend to shake his head with a chuckle and get the rest.


	3. Novice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac doesn’t what a N00b is? Jack can hardly believe...

Cars screeched around the corner, the finish line within sight. The crowd roared as they sped past side by side. It seemed that the car on the left would take the race but the one on it’s right veered into it at the last second and bumped it off course. The tires spun and the vehicle swerved out of control as the former went across the line. Winner and Loser flashed on the screen followed by a whoop.

“That’s how that’s done!” Jack Dalton yelled jumping from the couch, the controller in his hand swinging dangerously. His competitor in the game and best friend in life leapt up and rescued the controller from his hand.

“You break another controller and I won’t be able to save you from Bozer.” MacGyver said with a huff and roll of his eyes. He set the controller down to safety and lounged back on the couch.

“What, can’t stand to lose again?” Jack teased flopping down next to him and looked sideways at him. 

“We’ve been playing for three hours. I feel like my mind is turning to goo.” The blond complained staring up at the ceiling absently.

“That’ll never happen brother, and I expected you to win once. You said you’d played before, I expected better than n00b level from you?” Jack continued.

Mac had a look that Jack didn’t quite catch before his face morphed into another laugh. “N00b? Is that a technical term?”

“Come on you must know what it means? Didn’t millennials coin the term?” The younger agent kept a politely blank look on his face and the ex delta operative launched into an explanation.

“It’s like being new at something like...rookie, amatuer.” He ticked his fingers as he spook. “Oh! I know one your preppy brain will like, Novice.” He snapped his fingers at the last one.

Mac shook with silent laughter. They both barely glanced over when the front door opened and shut.

“I’m home!” Bozer yelled before stepping into the room arms loaded down with grocery bags. Hopefully this batch wouldn’t go bad if they randomly got called for a mission. He still hadn’t mastered the art of buying day by day.

“As a video game nerd, how could you not teach Mac what n00b means?” Was Jack’s response to their teammate. There was a loud thump and then Bozer appeared from the kitchen with a confused look. He glanced between them and smirked.

“Jack, Mac’s messing with you. He knows what a n00b is.” Then he looked over his shoulder at the tv. “You’re calling him one over NASCAR racing? Have you seen the high score bar?” He leaned against the wall amused.

Jack looked between the two of them with disbelief. “No, no way. I’ve won every single round. You’re messing with me!”

He picked up the controller and tapped the keys urgently. When the top score screen popped up, all ten places were held by MacGyver. He turned to gape at the kid who continued to smirk at him.

“Why did you let me win then?” He asked baffled.

“Jack, I love you but you are the worst loser I’ve ever met.” Mac clapped him on his shoulder and stood to help his roommate with the groceries, leaving his friend to stew.

“I want a rematch! A real one!” The offended voice followed him outside to the vehicles.”

“Thanks for that.” MacGyver playfully glared at Bozer.

“You shouldn’t have told him about my chocolate stash.” Bozer piled the bags in his arms and left his friend to shake his head with a chuckle and get the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this one around the time the Area 51 episode came out, which I believe is why I chose NASCAR :). Constructive Criticism appreciated!


	4. Thunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac has never been a fan of thunder, something that runs deeper than his time in Afghanistan. Which is where his partner had thought it stemmed from...

Mac paced in the living room. The only sound was the rain pouring outside, tapping on the roof. He knew more was coming hence his midnight stroll around the house. His shoulders were hunched in anxiety and tension rolled off of him in waves. Every once in a while he paused in his movement to listen closely. The last thing he wanted to do was wake his roommate so he could see what a cowardly mess he had become. Satisfied he could still hear the faint snoring, he took up his route again. The night seemed so still until a flash of lightning flickered across the sky and the adjoining boom had him nearly jumping out of his skin. He released a strangled whimper, no matter how often and how hard he tried to prepare himself, it got him every time.

In theory he knew that it was natural for soldiers, heck even agents of deep dark secret government agencies, to get PTSD attacks when faced with thunder. Given the loud booms from guns and bombs on a daily basis of course it was. The war hadn’t given him his fear and he knew it so he didn’t allow the excuse much as he wished it was that simple. It was stupid and silly, which is why he would never tell anyone if he could help it. Another boom crashed in his ears and he froze in the center of the room staring out onto the deck through the drizzle. Another flash of lightning, so it was growing closer. He couldn’t move, petrified and cursing himself internally for it. It was outside and he was inside, it couldn’t hurt him. That excuse had never worked before, so of course it didn’t work now. Another loud bang but this one was followed up by the sound of the front door opening. Jerking into action, finally, Mac picked up the closest object at hand. The lamp clutched tightly in his hands he slipped down the hall heart pounding in his ears.

“You gonna hit me kid?” The voice was familiar and he felt himself relax and nearly cry in relief. Sheepishly Mac set the lamp to the side and stared at his wet dripping best friend, who’d appeared in his house at midnight with...McDonalds breakfast unless his nose was failing him.

“Jack.” He didn’t have anything else to say, just stared at his friend blankly until another thunderclap had him flinching and ducking. 

This time arms came around him, grounding him as the sound passed once more.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled into Jack’s jacket, embarrassed by how tightly he was gripping his friend. Forcefully he opened his fingers and let the wet jacket slip from his fingers. “I’ll get you a towel and dry clothes.” He said making a beeline down the hall to avoid any response from his friend. He knew it was a stay of execution, if Jack wanted to talk, he would. It wasn’t hard to gather a change of clothes and towel. They both had stuff stored at each other’s houses. It was natural and neither looked deeper into it than a sense of security and another place to go if they ever needed it.

Padding back out into the main room, his footsteps quickened when this boom came from right above their heads. Jack met him in the doorway of the kitchen, catching him into a tight grip. He clung to him as the sound of the storm raged. Now above them the wind picked up and the rain pattered urgently on the windows. Light flashed and the booms came closer and closer again. Mac barely realized he was shaking, only that Jack held him firmly to his chest remaining calm for the both of them. When the worst of it passed, Mac released him once more and pushed the dry clothes and towel into his friends hand before weaving around him, into the kitchen. 

He stared at the kitchen cabinet and almost wished it would burst into flame. Rage boiled through his veins and he swallowed the tears that wanted to come. He shook turning and knocking into a glass on the counter. The sharp sound of it hitting the counter broke the tenuous hold he had and he picked it up throwing it as hard as he could with a wounded cry. The glass shattered against the wall and other followed after it. Tears streamed into his eyes but he blinked them away as he reached for a plate and threw it before reaching for another. He walked across the room, hardly feeling the glass slice his feet. Letting out a feral scream he slammed the last plate into the wall before he slid to his knees and covered his face with his hands. Numb he barely heard his name being called, but he flinched slightly when the thunder rang out again. Too emotionally exhausted to do much more. Distantly he heard swearing and then arms wrapped tightly around his waist pulling him up and away from the mess. He gave a token resistance but a sharp reprimand in his ear had him going limp.

Plopped into one of the bar chairs at the kitchen counter, Jack pointed at him to get his attention.

“Don’t move.” He barked.

Blankly Mac just stared at his hand. Hands that had saved him so many times and ways. He’d put his friend out again because he couldn’t gain control of himself. Squeezing his eyes shut he felt another tear leak down as his cheek as he slumped in his seat and turned his attention absently to the counter. He and his grandfather had built it together. A prickle of warmth and loss filled him at the thought of the man who had helped raise him. Pain in his foot had him flinch and pull it away.

“Mac hold still, you’ve got glass in your feet!” A wall seemed to be between him and reality. It was Bozer’s voice, filled with concern that he heard but it was like watching a movie, and not being in the same room. He stilled but didn’t respond, the only movements when his body flinched from the noise outside.  
He could hear them discussing him distantly and a couple times tried to get him to respond but he couldn’t. Couldn’t focus, couldn’t breath, couldn’t save those who needed saving. If he’d been smarter maybe he could have saved his mother, maybe his father would have stayed. He swallowed a hard lump in his throat at the thought. Jack’s voice was next to him, urgent but he couldn’t do more than glance at him passively before his gaze fell somewhere else. He thought he should be scared but he didn’t feel much of anything if he was being honest. Movement near his feet had ceased so he supposed Bozer had finished bandaging up his crazy roommate in the middle of the night. Too bad he couldn’t say this was a rare occurrence. A sob made its way out of his throat though he did his best to muffle it. Really was it any wonder people left him, he couldn’t handle his shit in a thunderstorm, lost his temper on some poor unsuspecting dishes and then didn’t even clean up the mess he had made. Everyone was always cleaning up after him, it had to be hard staying with someone who just made more work all the time.

A stinging feeling in his cheek slammed him to the present and as he clapped a hand over it to sooth it he realized that he was barely taking in air. His eyes darted until he could look at Jack, who was taking his free hand and pressing it against his own chest, Mac could feel the steady beat of his friends heart under his hand and he felt his mind coming back to him more.

“Jesus kid, I need you to breathe! With me now, in..” he stretched it out and Mac did his best to draw in. “And out, good.” The blond kept his eyes on Jack and breathed with him until he finally had it back under control. His limbs shook and he was bone tired, the ache in his feet announced themselves and he winced.

“Yea probably not the best idea to play in broken glass.” Jack advised slumping down in the seat next to him. He could see that Jack was tired and felt even more guilty. “None of that, I’m here because I want to be.”

“Why-“ his voice cracked and he coughed to clear his throat. “Why are you here?” He licked his dry lips wishing he had water and staring when a bottle appeared next to his elbow. He looked up at Bozer who had set it there, briefly wondering if his friend had developed mind reading capabilities. His friend smiled at him and turned away to putter with whatever he was doing. Gratefully he took a swig of the water.

“Do you think I’ve been living under a rock the past seven years brother?” The ex delta asked incredulously as he picked up the previously abandoned McDonalds bag. Mac noted he at least had managed to change into dry clothes, which was a relief. The only patient worse than Jack was Mac but the latter at least always tried to be polite to his caregivers while the other acted like a bear with a toothache. It generally fell upon him to care for the older man because he was always less acidic with him. “I know you have issues with thunder.” He kept it vague out of respect for him and the fact that Bozer was in the room, apparently he had forgotten that the man had known him since he was a child.

“Still Mac?” He asked softly and sadly, holding a cup of tea he had made for himself.

“Still?” The older agent gave him a sharp look and then back at the other. “I thought this came from the sandbox.”

“No, he hasn’t liked thunder since I met him. I got the impression from his grandpa that it’d been a long time.” Mac wanted to scream at them, tell them he was right there and to stop speaking around him as if he wasn’t. But he didn’t want to talk about it and they wanted answers. He supposed it was easier if they filled each other in. He knew he wouldn’t get out of filling them in on his side but this way...it was less.

“Well kid?” Jack asked gently, pulling him back into the conversation. He looked between the two of them before giving a long suffering sigh. They were worried and up late, it was his fault. The least they could do was tell them why.

“I’ve never really liked thunder. My d-father tried to logic the problem away if he happened to be around.” He couldn’t help the bitterness but Jack’s hand on his own kept him talking. “My grandpa told me a story about angels bowling.” He couldn’t help but smile at that one. “My mom though, she made it better. We always made a fort in the living room and stared out the windows to watch the storm. She told me it was like earth taking a shower and getting clean and refreshed like we do. We always fell asleep before the storm ended. The night she died…” He swallowed the lump in his throat and blinked hard.

Jack opened his mouth to speak but Mac stopped him with a shake of his head. He needed to finish this, if nothing else to honor her memory by sharing one of her. His partner closed his mouth and remained a soothing presence.

“The night she died” he started again. “It was storming, I knew what was coming, we all did. She-she passed just as it was over top of us. The storm sounded how I felt inside and I just...I hated it because it could be loud and cry and I couldn’t. Not the way I wanted too, not the way I felt.” He slumped in his seat emotionally drained. Sniffles had him looking up again. Bozer was wiping his eyes surreptitiously and Jack was covering up his own weeping by digging into the bag.

“She sounded like a great mom, and if she can’t be here with you during a storm I can be.” Jack finally said looking straight into his eyes, Mac cracked a grin.

“Me too!” Bozer chimed in. Mac gave a weak chuckle.

“Thanks, it does help to have people around I just-“

“Feel like a burden.” His friends echoed.

“Someday I swear I’ll make you believe you aren’t.” Jack vowed. “But for now we’ll just keep repeating it until it resonates in that ginormous brain. Now! Chow time!”

Mac accepted the sandwich and hashbrown and found he was actually hungry. Then he realized he’d skipped dinner and not finished most of his lunch. Feeling better with lights on, friends around him and the storm receding outside he dug in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please consider leaving a review :)


	5. Black Ink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac gets a tattoo and nobody knows until a Russian Spy reveals it for him. Far less exciting than the description might seem XD

MacGyver sat in his Jeep and studied the outside of the building for a long time. This was something he hadn’t really considered before but now, given the stress of finding out his dad had been there the whole time and not cared enough to say, leaving his job only to turn around and take it back again when Jack needed him. He just needed something permanent. Something to remind him that he wasn’t completely alone in the world. Fiddling with the paper in his hand he finally climbed out and went inside. 

When he got home later, he locked himself in the bathroom and peeled his shirt off. Removing the plastic wrap he leaned forward to study the black ink permanently marked into his skin. A faint smile came to his lips. It was perfect and maybe someday he’d tell someone he got It. But not today, today he needed the slight ache and burn it had left behind to remind him he was real, he was here and he wasn’t alone. Washing it gently and covering it again, he went off about the rest of his day. He could completely see how people got addicted to tattoos, it had been a heady feeling but he doubted he’d ever get another.

As the weeks passed he got through the itching and peeling with minimal issue. He disappeared often to the bathroom to apply lotion and keep it clean. Other than some teasing from Jack about his tiny bladder it went unnoticed. When it healed it pushed to the back of his mind. It was just a piece of him now.

***

“Tell us who you work for.” Mac couldn’t help but flinch when he heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh. His hands scrambled behind his back as fast as they could without drawing attention to it. 

“Your mom.” Mac rolled his eyes, he knew his partner was distracting them so he could get them out but did he have to be so good at pissing them off?

He could feel the piece of metal he’d found in the chair release in his hands and he began to cut at the ropes on Jack’s arms urgently. This was going to take forever but at the moment he didn’t have a better plan. He heard the Russian man snicker.

“You seem not to care about you, but I wonder about your partner here.” Mac internally swore and pushed the metal piece into Jack’s hand. The calloused fingers gripped his reassuringly before he was ripped from his seat and tossed to the ground. Without hands to catch himself he bounced on his side and felt his ribs creak. He gasped to get his air back, ears buzzing. Must have hit his head too.

“So brave picking on a kid half your size!” Jack yelled angrily. Mac could only hope he was trying to get free too. Hands picked him up and he hung from them as they dragged him around in front of his partner to the metal table sitting there. Oh, he really didn’t want to get on that. Struggling against their iron grip all he did was earn himself a punch to the side of his head which left him fighting to remain conscious. When he could see straight again his back was pressed painfully to the table, arms and legs strapped down.

“Let’s see how much I can hurt him before one of you spill.” Their captor was enjoying this part way too much, in Mac’s opinion. A knife bit into his arm and he bit his lip to keep from crying out, though it stung. Jack’s rapid breathing kept him focused, he tried to think of a way out of the mess, ignoring the Russian speaking above him. It was the wrong choice apparently because suddenly his face was in his own and he nearly gagged at the putrid breath.

“I’m sorry am I boring you?” He snarled threading his hands into his hair and pulling sharply to tug his head back. Mac let out a startled cry panting through the pain. He really hoped Jack was close because he was about to take a leaf out of his book.

“And I’m sorry you don’t have a breath mint bro. Phew did you eat a skunk?” Instead of the violent reaction he was expecting, the man smiled slowly, showing brown teeth and gums.

“Got us a couple of funny guys here.” He smirked and pulled at Mac’s shirt. He watched warily as he slid his knife up the front and cut his shirt in half and tossing it to the sides of his body.

“Now look at this.” He said and Mac froze, blood draining from his face. He’d forgotten all about it and hadn’t even told Jack yet. “You clearly love somebody a lot. Wonder who this J.D. is hmm? Tattooed right above your heart she has to be really important.” Mac heard his partner’s sharp intake of breath and turned his head away flushing and swallowing hard.

“Oh keeping secrets from your partner? Has he not met her? Such a shame you seem to like her a lot.” He slid the knife down his chest to the left of the tattoo leaving a long cut, he felt the blood seep out and drip down his side cooling. “Would be a shame to ruin it.” He chuckled making a cut on the other side. “Maybe I can get you to tell me her name pretty boy.” The knife came and rested under his chin, tilting it up until he had to look at him in the eyes or be stabbed. “Not so funny now are we?”

Tracing the knife down his neck and chest he added another cut below the tattoo. Mac shook lightly but kept his mouth shut.

“So what’s her name?” He leaned in sickeningly as if he were a curious friend rather than a murderous psycho. Mac glared at him silently and part of him was pleased when he saw anger finally come to their captors face. Though he knew it meant bad things for him, it could keep the guy occupied. Then a hand clapped the man on the shoulder and spun him.

“None of your business bro!” Jack yelled and slammed his fist into the other man’s face. Mac heard cartilage snap and the man dropped like a stone. He moved around the table fighting off the other two men. The blond lay feeling extra dizzy. Either he’d lost more blood than he thought or hit his head harder. Maybe both? It was getting increasingly difficult to keep his eyes open but he did. Hands touched his wrist and he jumped and twisted.

“Mac, it’s me buddy. Hang on!” Jack said urgently though oddly his voice sounded distant.

“Jack Dalton.” Mac mumbled. When his partner spoke again it was full of concern.

“Yea man that’s my name, don’t wear it out.” He tried to make a joke but Mac could feel him untying the binds quicker, but he had to make him understand before he lost his nerve.

“No..J.D. is-is Jack Dalton.” He slurred. As he slipped into unconsciousness he heard his partner’s breath stutter.

—-

Mac came to slowly, the scent of disinfectant and the irritating beeps telling him exactly where he was. He cast his mind back trying to remember why he would be in the hospital. His and Jack’s capture flooded back to him. He’d passed out and left his partner to deal on his own. What if something had happened. Forcing his eyes open he sat up. The beeping got louder as he tried to focus around the roaring in his ears. Hands landed on his shoulders and he heard his name distantly. Finally Jack’s face swam into view and the blond relaxed nearly falling backwards onto the bed.

“Woah hoss, be careful.” His partner scolded gently as he helped him lay back and fluffed the pillow behind him.

“Y’ok?” Mac asked grimacing as he shifted his aching body into a more comfortable position.

“Well I don’t have cracked ribs, a concussion or blood loss so better than you?” His friend said gently.

“Better me than you.” Mac said finally opening his eyes back up. Jack was sitting beside him on the bed a smile crinkling the corner of his eyes.

“Agree to disagree brother.” Jack said patting his hand. They sat in silence for a while. Usually their silences were comfortable. They had known each other long enough and were close enough they didn’t need to fill the quiet. This time though, the younger agent could feel the tension in the room.

“Spit it out Jack.” He finally said with more exasperation than he intended.

“So…nice ink.” The man started and Mac winced remembering telling his friend what the JD stood for. Blood loss was a bitch.

“Look it-“ Jack held up a hand to stop him and he snapped his jaw shut gritting his teeth. Perfect, one moment of weakness and he’d lose his partner.

The man tapped his jaw to get him to stop. “Whatever is going on in your head is probably wrong so let’s go down the list. I’m not mad, I’m not going to leave, you’re still my family. That cover it?” He chuckled at his partner’s startled look. “I pay attention sometimes.” He teased ruffling blond hair. “Now with that in mind go ahead and say what you were going to say.”

The blond took a moment to collect his thoughts. “After we found out who oversight was everything was so out of control. I left and then I came back, which I don’t regret.” He hastened to add when he saw guilt twist his friends face. “I just felt lost and alone and I knew I wasn’t. I knew I had you. I just needed a more permanent reminder.”

With a shaky hand he reached up and pulled the collar of his hospital gown down until the tattoo showed. It was a shaded bullet casing, looking almost like it was actually laying on his skin, and etched where the serial number usually would be were the his friends initials.

“It seemed very you.” He finally said lamely.

“It’s perfect kid.” Jack said voice rough with emotion. “Now that that’s on there, I expect you to remember I always have your back or I’ll have to have that tattooed below it.” 

“You got it.” Mac reached out his fist and Jack met it to complete the fist bump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was glad to get the Black Ink prompt, I’d had this idea for Mac’s tattoo for a while. Hope you enjoyed and please review :)


	6. No Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the house of one of Jack’s Idols isn’t the place to die.

“No time Jack!” Mac yelled as his friend skidded to a halt staring in awe at the wall.

“It’s his house Mac! His house!” There is always time! The reverence in his voice would have made Mac laugh if the situation wasn’t so dire.

“Yes, I know whose house it is. The guy who hired us for a job, you know finding out who’s stalking him?” Mac griped tugging uselessly on his partner’s arm. “Other than you.” He mumbled afterwards.

“Dude if I was a stalker, I wouldn’t get caught.” Jack gave one more last longing look to the poster on the wall before letting his partner steer him down the hall. Just in time it seemed because they heard the front door splinter as it was forcibly opened. The blond agent cursed softly shoving his partner into the nearest room and diving in after him. He kept the door cracked and looked around the room for something to work with.

“Do you know where we are?” Despite being in the same room, the only reason he heard his partner was through the coms in their ears.

“Dalton focus!” Matty’s voice said sharply.

“But-but Matty!” Mac rolled his eyes at his starstruck friend.

“So genius, are you still glad we brought him into this mission?” Matty’s voice again this time directed at the younger agent.

“Glad was never the word Matty, I was going to be the one that had to deal with him if we didn’t let him come.” He said through gritted teeth, slinking through the room to the bathroom.

“I’m right here.” The ex delta said nearly sounding like a sulky toddler.

“Fair enough.” She finally said before the coms when quiet again.

Finding several chemicals in the bathroom, he began to calculate in his head and mixed the together. Outside he could hear doors being kicked in and rooms searched. Jack was exploring the room they were in a silly grin on his face. The young agent slipped silently to the door and looked out of the crack. When he saw the men kick down a door and head into a room he tossed his makeshift bomb to the door across the hall from them. Gently closing the door he shoved Jack onto the bed as a large boom crashed over them and the house shook.

“Dude!” Jack began but Mac clapped a hand over his mouth listening. He heard muffled yells and footsteps go across the hall from them. Glancing down at his friend to be sure he had heard too, he slowly released him and stood up. Jack took his arm and pushed the blond agent behind himself. Guns drawn he moved towards the door and carefully opened it. He snuck towards the other door, hearing irritated voices. Kicking the door he ran in.

“Put them down!” He yelled. There were three in there that Mac could see over his partner’s shoulder. They froze, though the one in front seemed to consider battling it out, he dropped his gun and motioned for the others to do the same.

“We need to get John McClain!” He said urgently as the two of them patted him down. Mac turned him to put cuffs on.

“He isn’t real.” The blond said hardly able to believe he was having this conversation with a grown man.

The thug twisted slipping from his grasp and turning. He threw a punch at Mac who ducked but it glanced off his temple leaving his ears ringing as the man tried to run. He dove after him, catching him about the legs as they rolled across the hall.

“He’s real! He’s real! He killed the boss! I’m going to kill him!” The man’s feral screaming alarmed him and he could hear Matty and Riley yelling in his ear, Jack yelled from the other room as the guys goons tried to fight back as well.

Mac couldn’t answer any of them. He saved his breath and his energy fighting off the man. He was clearly on some epic drugs or had a few screws loose. Either way the young agent knew it made him extra lethal. They stared at each other, his head pounded but the leader was limping and bleeding down the side of his face. He roared and launched at him again. Mac tried to maintain his balance but their legs tangled and he fell backwards. His back hit a shelf and knocked it over, the sound of glass breaking echoed in the room. His friends called for him again but he was busy trying to peel fingers from around his throat, gasping.

Black dots danced in front of his eyes but he managed a good kick to the man’s groin. His fingers loosened and Mac reached behind him. Feeling smooth metal in his hands he swung it hard and fast clocking the guy in the face. His eyes crossed and he crashed down on top of Mac whose air rushed out of him with an oomf. He really wished the girls would stop screeching in his ear, he thought idly as his lungs fought to bring his air back.

Jack appeared above him and yanked the thug off. Mac sat up and finally took in air gasping. He watched as Jack bound the man’s hands before coming to kneel next to him.

“You ok brother?” He asked urgently, thankfully the others went quiet.

“Yea- wind knocked - out of- me.” He gasped rubbing his sore chest. Of all the broken bones, burns, cuts and bruises he’d had in his life, he still felt the worst thing was having air forcibly pushed from his lungs. He stood up and his partner was beside him, keeping him from swaying and falling over. When they both felt he was steady enough he backed away.

“This guy's a loon.” Mac said voice raw. “He thinks John McClain lives here.” He coughed wincing at the burning in his chest.

“He does!” Jack insisted.

“No Jack, not Bruce Willis. John McClain as in his character from Die Hard. He said he wanted revenge for him killing his boss.” He really wanted to stop talking and to sit down with a drink.

“He might John McClain you when he sees you blew up his room and ruined his shrine to The Fifth Element.” Jack advised nodding behind Mac. The kid turned and sighed. The shelf he’d knocked over had truly appeared to hold memorabilia from the man’s movies. He only hoped saving his life made up for the mess he’d made. “Do I get to meet him now, Matty?” Jack asked with a faint whine.

“I’ll see what I can do. Cleanup team will be there in seconds.” The two them made their way out and down the hall. The three thugs were still out cold. Making their way up the hall they stopped in front of the poster Jack had been fascinated with earlier. It was a framed original poster advertising Die Hard. Mac could practically see his partner’s mouth water.

“Do you think I could…”he trailed off stepping towards the frame and reaching for it. Mac grabbed his shoulder.

“No I don’t think you can steal Bruce Willis’ poster without anyone noticing.” He scolded.

“Well I can’t now!” The man complained as Matty yelled at him through their coms.

The blond just chuckled and led his protesting friend out of the house; past the cleanup crew and to the car they had brought earlier in the day.

“Hey, do you think Bruce Willis has Bruce Willis movie marathons?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do a Bruce Willis story, at least one lol. Hope you enjoyed, please review :)


	7. Chewing Gum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac often asks for gum while in the field, Jack is beginning the think they should all start carrying it.

“I need chewing gum!” Mac announced from underneath the vehicle he was attempting to get it run, though it looked like it hadn’t moved in years. He reached over and grabbed another tool, continuing to work. 

Jack felt around in his pockets, he really needed to start carrying gum. And making Mac carry gum. Hell he should just make everyone carry gum, for as often as his partner used it to create things. Of course he didn’t have any. He sighed and looked over at the woman they had been sent to save. They had managed to snag her off the street before the Italian mob and were attempting to get the checkpoint to be picked up. Then their car had died, looking it over Mac realized that a hole had been put in the gas tank. They were probably lucky not to have been blown up. Starting to walk on foot they had run across an abandoned property with an old truck parked nearby. He had seemed sure he could get it working and had wandered around the buildings gathering tools and supplies. Jack supposed it made sense he wouldn’t have found gum, but he wasn’t sure how he was going to find some.

“Do you have any?” He asked the woman who had looked puzzled to start with and had just grown more confused.

“Uh n-no.” She stuttered and patted her pockets, not that he blamed her. It had taken some convincing to get her to believe they were the good guys and not the bad ones. It probably would have taken longer if the mob hadn’t started shooting at them. “What’s the gum for?” She whispered. The woman hadn’t been sure what to make of MacGyver from the beginning and she seemed to get more baffled the longer she spent time with them.

“I’ve learned not to ask, too much sciency terms and logic.” He shuddered and shrugged with a grin. “You stay near him, I’m going to run inside and see if I can find anything.” She nodded and shifted closer to the truck while he jogged off to the run down house.

The door creaked when he pushed it open and a wave of dusty mold hit his nose. He sneezed and coughed as he moved his way through the building. It was fairly empty but he made it into the kitchen and began to search the cupboards. He gagged when he found bits of moldy food but as of yet, he hadn’t found any chewing gum. In the bottom of the last drawer he found a roll of aluminum foil. He knew most times it wasn’t the gum Mac needed but the foil it came wrapped in. On the off chance that was the case this time, he grabbed it. Doing one more sweep he still found nothing even resembling gum.

“You guys need to get out of there now!” Riley’s voice filled the coms. “The mob is about five miles away.”

Jack took off running out the back door. As he reached the truck he saw Mac getting their charge into it before climbing in himself. The ex delta dove into the driver’s seat and tossed the kid the aluminum foil. He caught the blonds puzzled look but had no time to comment as he turned the key they’d found in the glove box. Holding his breath, he released it with a relieved sigh as it turned over and started. Shifting it into gear he slammed on the gas and they fishtailed out of the yard throwing up rocks and dirt behind them.

“How far from the checkpoint Riley?” Mac was yelling as he directed Jack to make a right out of the driveway.

“Two miles! Go, they’re moving up fast!” She warned.

“I’m going as fast as I can! This truck is like one hundred!” The man responded gazing behind him to look for the mob.

“It’s twenty years old maybe and keep your eyes on the road!” Mac demanded hand gripping the dashboard.

“Are you buckled?” Jack barked and looked over. Automatically the kid tugged on his belt, used to his partner’s quirks. The dark haired man relaxed minutely and focused on the road as he was told. He heard his partner fiddling with something and roll down the window. Behind them he heard an explosion.

“What the hell?” He asked as he jerked the wheel and took a sharp left at Riley’s direction.

“I knocked a tree down.” Mac responded head craned too look behind them. “I hit a big one, it’s across the whole road.”

“Did you just make a bomb?” Their passenger asked incredulously.

“Yea.” Mac said sheepishly. Jack glanced over and saw his hurt look when the woman scooted away from him and felt the bitter taste of anger in his throat.

“You watch it little lady, he’s saved our life three times already today and we have yet to make it to the plane!” She didn’t respond but he didn’t need her too, Mac’s flush and grateful look were enough.

They waited silently as they drove, tense until their computer expert spoke again.

“It worked Mac! They’re completely blocked, and you’re almost to the plane!” Her relief filtered the tension out of the two of them and they slumped in their seats relieved. “Good job brother!” Jack said and they bumped fists. The woman remained silent between them, tense. 

At the landing pad, they went their separate ways. She gave them a nod of thanks and offered to shake Jack’s hand giving a wary look to Mac still. The delta ignored her and took his partner by the arm, leading him to their own plane and completely ignoring her.

“You could have shook her hand.” The blond said as they sat in their seat.

“No I couldn’t. Wouldn’t want her rudeness to rub off on me.” He said simply.

Putting his arm down he hit the button of the compartment in the arm of his seat. It opened and he chuckled. Picking up the pack of gum he showed his partner.

“Where was this an hour ago? How did you fix the truck without it anyway?” He asked tossing the other man the gum when he held out his hand for it. He watched him pull a piece out and unwrap it.

“It wasn’t to fix the truck with.” He said with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh...well what was it for?” Jack asked baffled. 

“It’s chewing gum Jack.” Mac said with a laugh. “I wanted to chew it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The best prompt for a MacGyver story, next to paper clip! Hope you enjoyed, please review :)


	8. Pegs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes an old family tradition is the only thing that can calm an anxious mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in a mood when I wrote this, so everyone is a bit out of character. Also pegs refer to clothespins. I didn’t realize that pegs weren’t a commonly known name for them.

A loud beep signaled the end of the washing machine. Mac dragged himself up from the corner of the cellar floor and mechanically pulled the clothes out and piled them in the basket. When it was empty he started a new load and reached down to pick up the basket. He carried it past the dryer and to the back door, pausing to grab and old White workshop apron from its hook nearby. Going across the back yard, the sun warmed his back. Near the back corner of the well kept area was a clothesline his grandfather had built. He’d always had one for his grandmother and had had it up even when he moved here, long after she’d passed. He set the basket down on a stump nearby placed for such a purpose. Quickly the blond tied the apron around his waist and started to pull the laundry out of the basket.

Mac wondered how long it would be until his team showed up and scolded him for nearly getting them killed. Maybe they wouldn’t show up all, he wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t. He had really screwed up and had honestly been surprised when Jack had simply taken care of the wound he’d received on his leg with gritted teeth, rather than leaving him to care for it himself. Bozer and Riley had sat in seats in the front in tense silence. The blond had felt worse and worse the longer they had been on the plane. He didn’t get a chance to say anything before they were all whisked away to a debrief. He’d spent the whole meeting tense, waiting for their boss to yell at him but she only asked him to clarify one point and left him be otherwise.

Pulling a peg from the apron, he started to hang the sheet. He had tried to catch his team afterwards. He had really wanted to apologize and let them know he knew that he had screwed up. But they avoided him and he learned from Jill that the three of them had demanded a private meeting with Matty. His gut twisted. They’d all been after him to do better all day and he hadn’t. They’d lost an agent and now he imagined they were talking to the director about getting a new partner. After he had just returned from quitting. He sighed and rubbed his forehead in frustration before grabbing a couple more pegs and moving onto the next piece of laundry.

In his whirl of thoughts he heard the door to the cellar open. Puzzled he peered around the sheet he was hanging. His team including Matty all filed out and his heart dropped. Swallowing hard, he pretended he hadn’t seen them and raised up the other side to clip it into place. He felt them all gather around on the other side of the sheet in front of where he stood. There was a silent tension and suddenly he wondered if they were waiting for him. He remembered when he had spoken up before, and Jack had talked over him. Asked what the point of him was if he couldn’t solve the problem. He knew Jack probably said it in the heat of the moment, but it was true. The pegs in his hands had more use than he did if he wasn’t using his brain to save someone’s life. Not wanting to give his friend anymore fuel he closed his mouth only just realizing he had opened it to speak. To him it sounded as if his teeth clicking together echoed. That was ridiculous except he could see the way Jack’s face tightened when he did it. He supposed not speaking had been a good choice.

“Can we talk to you Mac?” Riley asked in a subdued voice.

“Yes of course, go ahead.” Mac replied keeping his voice steady as he leaned down and picked up the next item to hang. 

“Could we sit on the porch?” Matty asked and the blond resented the fact she’d asked it. He knew it was a con, use her position to automatically get him to agree with what she wanted. Normally it would have worked but he was vibrating anxiously and hanging up laundry was the only thing keeping him together. The thought of trying to explain all that made him break out in a cold sweat. Instead he hoped Matty would forgive him for being short with her, someday.

“You feel free, I’m busy.” His hands shook as he finished hanging up the sheet and moved on to the next. Jack’s face had gone pale and was studying him intently. He wanted to tell him, but the loud voice in his head told him they wouldn’t care. And why would they, they had done their jobs correctly that day.

“It’s ok Mac.” Bozer cut in before Matty could speak again, she turned her angry gaze on him but he just stared her down and shook his head once. Thankfully it was enough. “You just keep working.” This time he and Jack exchanged glances and it was like watching a tag team.

“Hey buddy do you have any more I can get for you?” He asked staying a respective distance back to give Mac space. The peg in his hand shook and he squeezed it tighter staring at his hand. Why couldn’t he control it. 

“You-you don’t have too.” His voice sounded forced and now his chest clenched. But it felt distant and separate from him. He blinked as his vision grayed a little and shook his head until he brought it back. There was a constant buzzing in his ears and his cheeks felt warm.

Jack didn’t respond, already on his way back into the cellar. Shortly he returned with another basket and some more pegs. He set both within reach and backed away to give him more space. Mac clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. Why were they being so nice? Why couldn’t they just tell him he was done and leave. This just made it harder.

“Could you just tell me your kicking me off the team so we can move on.” He asked, voice more aggressive than he intended because of the amount of adrenaline running through him.

“Kicking you off the team?” The Texan blurted out and there was no mistaking his worried look this time.

“I almost got you all killed today. You were right, I was useless.” He said licking his lips as he tried to breath slowly. It suddenly felt suffocating. A heavy look passed Jack’s face and then Matty spoke again.

“What is he talking about Dalton?” She asked sharply.

“Sorry; ignore that. I’m I was just rambling.” Mac grimaced at his terrible lie but his head was still spinning. He hadn’t meant to start trouble.

“Angus be quiet!” The use of his first name took the sting out of the rebuke but he stared over the sheet at her as he went silent. For their part the other three looked ill. He would be too if she was angry with him and another wave of guilt crashed over him. “What is he talking about? I will not ask again!” Her voice was menacing and the young agent couldn’t quite figure out why she was so upset.

“I was pushing him to solve the problem of saving the hostages and our necks before the bomb blew. “  
“We all were giving him a hard time.” Riley stepped in and Bozer nodded in agreement.

Mac had stopped what he was doing to watch them. The heavy feeling still creeped up on him but was at bay for the moment while he puzzled out what they were doing. 

“All three of us were in bad moods.” They’d had a poker game the night before that had ended not so friendly. Mac had been working on his bike but ended up as referee. “We were picking on him all day because as shameful as it is to admit, he lets us.” He swallowed hard and looked away, picking up another peg and carrying on with his work.

“He didn’t solve a problem as fast as we decided he should and called his value into question.” Jack’s voice was stone at the end. 

“It’s alright, you were right.” Mac started, he didn’t like his upset they were.

“MacGyver, I said quiet!” Matty said though it lacked its normal edge. He fell silent and looked down at the wood in his hands. Absently he began to fiddle with it, hanging the clothes wasn’t enough anymore.  
“We weren’t right Mac.” Bozer said a bit desperately. Jack had already turned to face the house though he could see his jaw moving.

“No you weren’t and I will be signing the three of you up for teammate exercises.” Matty glowered. They stood with their heads down. The blond really had no idea what was going on anymore. If they hadn’t come to yell at him then why had they gathered?

“I don’t understand, why are you here then?” Belatedly he remembered the warning to be quiet but rather than angry Matty smiled at him.

“You weren’t answering your phone, I came to tell you that Robert Black is alive.” 

The name shot through him like a dart and a half strangled sob slipped out before he could stop it. The man had been a hostage they couldn’t account for. He had been caught in the blast that Mac hadn’t been able to stop. They had all thought for sure he was head.

“I didn’t kill him?” His voice was very nearly at a beg.

“Christ kid, no you didn’t kill him.” It was Jack speaking up. “Even if he’d died it wouldn’t have been you who killed him. Tell me you know that?” He pleaded and Mac stared at him helplessly. He couldn’t tell him that because he didn’t know. It would have been his fault, nearly was.

“It’s not Mac.” Riley added in.

“It is though.” He said voice cracking. “I was slow and I almost got him and all of us killed.”

“If I could take back this whole day I would.” Jack growled before appearing in front of Mac and grabbing his face between his hands.

“You weren’t at fault, you did what you always did. It was us that were not on top of our game. We took it out on you and we shouldn’t have.” Mac wanted to look away but the hands wouldn’t let him.

“It’s-“

“I swear if you tell me it’s alright or anything to that nature I will lose it.” Looking at him, he could believe it was true. The older man looked like he was barely holding his emotions in check.

“I - don’t know what else to say.” He confessed.

“Just agree to come have beer and steak. Trust us enough to believe that it’s our fault and we want to make it up to you. Even if your big brain is trying to tell you otherwise.”

“Alright Jack.” He’d do anything for the man. Taking off the apron, he stuffed the pegs into it and placed it on the basket. The one he had been fiddling with resembled a large toothpick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, please review :)


	9. Ponytail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack never asks anymore more. If Mac needs a hair tie, his partner will get him one.

“Does Riley have a ponytail today?” Mac asked as he bent over the riding lawn mower they’d found. He hadn’t spoken in a while and startled Jack out of his silent musings as he scanned the area for a threat. He had refused to leave Mac’s side though the kid had told him to go into the safety of the barn with Bozer and Riley. He cast his mind back.

“Yea I think so...why?” The Ex Delta couldn’t imagine why his partner needed to know that. Apparently his blatant confusion leaked through to his best friend who popped his head up with a dimpled grin. It amused Jack to notice the kid had a streak of grease on his cheek.

“I just need the hair band.” He said with a chuckle. “Don’t look so concerned.”

“I wasn’t concerned, I trust you brother. Just ponytails was a new one. I’m relieved the hair doesn’t need to be attached.” He left his friend while he chuckled again and ducked into the barn. 

Jack sneezed at the old dusty hay and squinted around. After being out in the bright sunlight it was difficult to see in the shadowy building. Finally though he picked out the glow of Riley’s computer screen and headed back towards them.

“You really should hide better.” He said as he came upon them. Riley jumped a little and turned around but Bozer fell out of his chair and looked up startled.

“I’m getting a bell for both you and Mac!” He complained standing up and dusting off his pants.

“We’re spy’s, we’re supposed to be sneaky.” Jack teased. “You should be too. Having your computer screen where anyone can see is not so subtle.” He kept his tone light but gave Riley a look.

“You’re right Jack, it won’t happen again.” She conceded and turned to face the back wall instead. “Is Mac finished with whatever?” She honestly hadn’t been paying attention, she knew she wouldn’t know what he was doing anyway.

“Oh right! That’s why I came in, I needed your hair tie.”

“Why?” She asked narrowing her eyes at him. “Your hair is a little too short.”

“Hardy Har, Mac needs it. That’s hilarious though.” He said dryly, catching the black band when she tossed it to him. Her hair falling in curly waves over her shoulder.

“Your country thanks you.” Jack said turning and waving as he headed back out to his partner.

When he stepped back into the sun, hissing when it burned his eyes, he realized he’d been duped. Both the kid and the lawn mower were missing. He growled and went down on his knee to try and pick up his trail. A trained operative, the kid had erased his tracks, but Jack could find him, he always did. Shifting forward he kept his eyes glued to the ground. Footsteps caught his attention and he looked up. Mac was running towards him and he stood up to meet him, a lecture on the tip of his tongue.

“No time, hair band!” Mac demanded snagging it from Jack’s hand and flipping open the black box in his hand. He fiddled around with the band and finally snapped the box closed and turned it over. Pushing Jack into the barn he pushed a button on the box and they heard a kaboom from outside. The ground shook slightly under their feet.

“Did you detonate a bomb using a hair tie?” Jack finally asked staring out at the cloud of black smoke rising lazily in the air.

“Yes now let's get out of here.” He scrambled to his feet and went back outside.

Riley and Bozer jogged towards Jack and they went out to Mac head first in the hood of a vehicle they had found sitting nearby. 

“Go ahead and try to start it Jack.” He yelled voice muffled. Shrugging he climbed in and found the key in the ignition. He turned and while it hiccoughed it turned over and ran. Mac slammed the hood and ushered Riley and Bozer into the front while he climbed into the back with a bucket of items.

Jack wanted to ask he really did but knowing he made a bomb out of a lawnmower and a ponytail was enough detail for him for one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	10. Please Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac tends to let guilt overwhelm him, especially guilt relating to his friends.

Macgyver’s phone chirped with another message, he reached over and shut it off. He leaned back against the hard bark of the tree behind him and sighed. Looking up the sky he absently counted the stars. It was an activity that he and his grandfather had done many times when he was growing up. When Mac was missing his mom, thinking of his dad or had a rough day at school this had helped him calm down and ground himself. Being the smartest person in the room always made it hard to be normal. The fact Bozer had remained at his side for so long was amazing. He also was given a hard time, just for being his friend. He stared down at his phone on the ground and had the childish urge to throw it. Riley was already going to kill him for shutting it off so she couldn’t track him, so he resisted the urge.

The blond shivered as a gust of wind blew by. He had forgotten his jacket, so sat in a thin T-shirt and pair of jeans. It was nearing winter and even California could get chilly. Though he tended to get cold easily anyway. He stubbornly sat and shivered. He knew he was just punishing himself but he didn’t care. As far as he was concerned he deserved it and more. A flash of Jack laying on his back bleeding crossed his mind and he leaned over heaving. Having already lost everything he ate earlier, he coughed up bile. Sitting up he cradled his sore abdomen. When he had quit he should have stayed gone, if he had Jack never would have been hurt. Mac comforted himself knowing he wouldn’t have a job to go back too anyway. Matty had told him if he had one screw up then it was done. But he couldn’t just shut his brain off, so that left not having a job at all. At least his friends would be safe though.

He slammed his head back into the tree, falling into a rhythm. It started to hurt but he didn’t care, he didn’t want to think about that day or the mission they’d been on. Rarely did Mac get what he wanted, and the memories filtered through anyway.

It should have been easy in and out. All they had to do was nab a laptop, something they’d done several times before. However, never had they stepped into a booby trapped room that sealed them inside. Mac immediately began to make a torch to cut through the metal. There had to be another way out, no way would they leave important information in there with no way to retrieve it but he didn’t have time to try and figure out what it was. He remembered his partner pestering him urgently about something but he had ignored it, thinking he knew best. Right as the the door had fallen outward he had heard a ping and sharp grunt. Turning he had seen Jack laying silently on the floor, a pool of blood around his head.

Dropping his equipment, he had run for his partner. He was breathing but Mac couldn’t get him to wake up. People burst into the room and when he realized it was Phoenix he could have cried. Matty had called the cavalry in when they lost communication after being sealed in the room. They’d been whisked away to the hospital where Mac had paced in the waiting room. The rest of his team had watched in concern, any time they tried to talk to him he didn’t see them and he didn’t hear them. His focus was on one thing. In the wee hours of the morning, the doctor had come to tell them Jack was fine. Mac didn’t hear anything else. Instead he had turned on his heel and left the hall, left the hospital and left the grounds. He’d gone until his body couldn’t anymore. He hadn’t slept since before the mission and he didn’t recall consuming anything other than some water Jack had bullied him into drinking. 

A dry sob caught in his throat and he gripped his hair trying to keep himself from falling apart. He ran the whole scene through his mind over and over but he couldn’t figure out what had happened, how he had gotten Jack hurt and that scared him. Standing again he slid his phone in his pocket and wandered a little further. As the Adrenalin drained from his body, so did his anger. He was left feeling numb and listless. He supposed now would be a good time to face the music.

Pulling out his phone with shaky hands he turned it on. A blast of texts and missed calls filled his screen but he ignored them in favor of one singular text. Blue eyes wide he swiped it open.

“Please Call” was all Jack had written, but the fact he had texted at all was a huge miracle. He much preferred face to face or a phone call. He felt himself shaking again, felt the emotions tearing him apart.

A snap of a branch had him whirling around. He squinted at the figure coming towards him in the dark, when he made out who it was he gaped.

“You took too long to answer.” The soft drawl of the Texan accent reached his ears.

“You should be in the hospital.” Mac finally managed to say. He wanted to know how his friend had found him this time, when he hadn’t even known where he was going. But Jack never answered him when he asked anyway and there were more pressing matters at hand.

Jack snorted. “It was a scratch, nothing more. You know head wounds bleed like hell.”

“But they- I/ you wouldn’t wake up!” Mac argued voice cracking.

Jack finally seemed to really see the turmoil he was in and let out a breath, eyes sad.

“It knocked me good, I’ll give it that. They ran a bunch of tests on me. That’s what took so long but scouts honor it’s a scratch and mild concussion. Both of which I can deal with from home.” He stepped closer and Mac felt like a cornered animal.

“Don’t come near me, I’ll just hurt you again.” He knew it was slightly ridiculous but he needed sleep about 32 hours ago so he forgave himself the dramatics. Jack snorted again.

“Mac, if I were ever to make a list of people who could or would hurt me you wouldn’t be anywhere on it. Riley yes, Bozer possibly, Matty definitely but Angus Macgyver isn’t anywhere near close to the list. I think there is a list between the that list and the one you are on.” His quiet conviction soothes the blond but only slightly.

“But I hurt you.” He repeated for lack of something else to say. Jack just moved closer and though he tended, he didn’t move away.

“If you had stayed for the debrief you’d know that wasn’t true.” He had his partner’s attention now.

“It wasn’t?” His mind scanned the memories again but he still came up blank.

“That room was falling apart the minute we got sealed in. I tried to tell you but you were focused in getting us out so I didn’t try too hard. Bolts and screws were flying out of everywhere. I just caught one in the temple and it was dumb luck it happened when you knocked the door out.” Mac could feel waves of emotions try to overwhelm him. He swallowed them down but he couldn’t stop the tears shining in his eyes.

His partner gave him a long look before reaching out and pulling him against his chest. Mac didn’t even pretend to protest, instead he pressed against him soaking in the warmth and his heartbeat. The man was alive and safe. They stood huddled together for a long time before he felt steady enough to pull back. He discreetly wiped the tear tracks and didn’t mention it when Jack did the same. They smiled at each other, they didn’t need to speak with words to understand each other. The Mac got a teasing grin.

“Please call? Since when do you say please?” He chuckled.

“Brat.” The ex delta said with a roll of his eyes. He pulled Mac into a gentle headlock and ruffled his hair. “Come on, it’s time for all good geniuses to be in bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	11. Drop Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone takes Jack seriously when it comes to Mac.

Jack’s heart stopped when Mac’s head cracked hard against the brick wall behind him. Time seemed to slow as he watched the blue eyes blank before they slipped closed and he fell bonelessly to the ground. The thug that had gotten to upper hand didn’t bother to stop, instead kicking him hard in the stomach. The delta saw red and roared. The man he was fighting paused startled. It was all he needed. Kneeing him in the groin, the man hunched over and Jack head butted him before running over to his partner.

He angrily took down the man that was gleefully throttling his partner.

“Drop Dead!” He snapped before cracking his head off the same wall that Mac’s had hit. Quickly he zip tied both man’s hands and feet together before going to his partner. 

The kid was silent and still making his heart pound. Even in sleep the kid was rarely still. His blond hair was stained a rust color from the blood oozing out of the wound on his temple. He tore a strip of his T-shirt and pressed it against the wound. 

“Come on kid, please wake up.” He muttered when the pressure didn’t even bring a flinch. He pulled his partners shirt up and cursed. If he hadn’t been concerned about waking him up, he would have cracked the thugs skull against the wall again. His partners chest and abdomen was a mottle of black bruises. He palpated gently but it didn’t seem like any were broken. Satisfied with that for the moment, Jack slid up and picked his partners head up placing it in his lap.

For the first time he could hear voices yelling in his ear and he focused.

“Jack! What the hell is going on?” It was Matty and though her voice was angry he could hear the underlying tremor of fear.

“I can’t get Mac to wake up.” He said grimly. “This asshole bashed his head into a brick wall and kicked the crap out of him. Choked him too.” He winced in sympathy at the finger shaped bruises circling his neck. “Get someone here now Matty or I can’t promise I won’t kill this guy.” His voice cold and deadly. He heard a couple gasps of surprise. Bozer and Riley.

“Five minutes out Jack.” The director responded tightly. She didn’t dare try to lecture him for his words, he had given her a firm understanding of his protectiveness of Mac when she had first started. 

“Come on Mac, I really need you to wake up now.” He said tapping the blonds cheek. Still nothing. “Mac!” He said more urgently, voice cracking. He brushed the kids hair back from his face as a drop of water landed on him. He realized it was coming from him. He sniffed and wiped his face in frustration.

“He will be alright Jack.” Matty said with a rare tenderness.

“He won’t wake up!” Jack repeated in frustration, his hands still running through the blond hair. They fell silent again and Jack continued to try and wake his partner. He was becoming desperate and finally dug around in his backpack and pulled out a water bottle. “Sorry Kid.” He whispered before dumping some on his face. To his relief the agent took a deep gasping breath and his blue eyes squinted open. They were hazy and full of pain but they were open.

“God Kid, you nearly gave me a heart attack.” He laughed weakly and stroked his hair again before pulling the strip of T-shirt back to look at the wound. It bled sluggishly but had slowed a lot.

“S’rry.” He slurred. “You ‘Kay?” Mac asked trying to sit up and look him over.

“Woah there brother, you stay right where you are. I’m fine, it’s your ginormous brain that took a beating.” Mac mumbled but settled back down, his eyes slipping closed again. “Stay awake!” Jack said urgently tapping his face again. The blond scrunched his face up and turned it away.

“Tire’” He said voice coming out weakly.

“I know I know but please!” Jack nearly begged.

“S’rry.” His friend repeated before slumping bonelessly.

“Dammit!” Jack cursed. “Matty how far is the ambulance?” He asked panicked.

“Coming in now!” Riley was the one that responded. “We’ll meet you at the hospital.”

The doors burst open and a squad of Phoenix agents came in and pulled the waking men to their feet. As they walked by, the one who attacked Mac smirked at him.

“Oops, did I break him?” He chuckled darkly. The other agents watched Jack warily. His temper when it came to his partner being hurt was legendary but luckily for them all Mac was his biggest concern.

“I’ll say it again, drop dead!” He hissed baring his teeth.

“No’ nice Jack.” The sound of his partners voice had him look down sharply. The eyes were already closing again but one of his hands weakly grasped his own. He squeezed back tightly and let out a wet chuckle.

“Will you ever not be a pacifist?” He asked but the kid didn’t answer, passed out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	12. Charging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac’s super spy skills keep Jack in the dark.

Jack stared at Mac blankly for a long time. His friend was stabbing the screen of his phone almost angrily, though that wasn’t really what gave him pause. Granted he rarely saw Mac treat his electronics in such a way, but Jack got frustrated sometimes and took it out on them so he didn’t begrudge anyone else. It was the large gray thing attached to his phone by a wire that confused him. The thing had been a near constant companion to his friend in the last few weeks and whenever he asked him what it was for he shrugged and said he was charging his phone. When he had asked why you would need a brick to charge your phone the blond had rolled his eyes in fond exasperation.

“It isn’t a brick Jack, it’s a charger. It’s charging my phone.” He stressed the last sentence before he had slipped into the War Room, Matty had called a meeting. It didn’t go unnoticed that the kid still hadn’t answered his question. The rest of the team had been just as unhelpful. Bozer seemed as lost as he was by the new addition to Mac’s everyday life but he did back up that it was a charger. Great wonderful, Jack wondered if he should have “I realize it is a Charger” tattooed on his forehead to save time. Riley had just given him a sly grin and when she started to explain what it was he had stopped her and considered the tattoo even more.

The ex delta started watching his partner like a hawk and noticed other unusual things. He was on his phone a whole lot more than he used to be. Granted Jack was used to his three younger teammates being on their phones often when not on missions, it was the generation. Plus he himself used his quite a bit. But this was extreme. If he wasn’t working (and sometimes even when he was) or they were out and about, it could almost be guaranteed that his face would be stuck to the screen. But he could never figure out what it was the kid was doing. When he tried to maneuver around to look at his screen, Mac would shut it down and stick it in his pocket and move along. He started to despair of ever finding out. It didn’t really matter he guessed but it was the principal of the thing now. He didn’t like being in the dark, especially when it was a secret his two pseudo-kids were keeping from him. 

Things picked up in pace and soon Mac was slipping off and disappearing at random times. Phone and charger brick in hand. He used his defensive driving to kick Jack off his tail each and every time to the ex deltas annoyance. What was so god damn secretive. He tried questioning Bozer again but he was just as lost and interested as the older man. When he questioned his friend the kid had shrugged him off as well, taking a look at his phone and running out in the middle of the conversation. He began to wonder if he should be worried and if he should get Matty involved. Riley had seemed to figure out what he was thinking and talked him out of it rather sternly. His ears had rung for days. This had left him in a sour and pouting mood.

In retaliation he had stepped up his game. He hid around corners, in the lab and even tried getting up into the vent. He had gotten stuck and laughing Mac had had to get him out using some weird thing he had created. Jack hadn’t been able to hear his explanation and once he’d been pulled out, Matty had swooped down on him and given his ears the second blistering in as many weeks. After that he stopped trying so hard. He still asked once in a while and he’d tried to look at the screen but he didn’t go Bruce Willis on the kid anymore.

One Saturday they all, including Matty, had decided to have a cookout and spend the day together relaxing. Mac was under his motorcycle repairing it while Bozer and Matty worked in the kitchen. Jack sat near his best friend chatting away while Riley sat at the table using her computer. An annoying sound went off and Mac shot up from his position and looked down at his phone.

“It’s time Ri!” He said and Jack couldn’t help but see how excited he looked. The girl grinned and tossed the blond her phone. Before Jack could blink he had taken off for the front of the house and out the door. 

Jack jumped up and followed after him. Reaching the front door he saw his friend in his Jeep zipping off down the driveway.

“Where are you going?!” He yelled but he knew it was useless. The kid was too far away to hear him and he wouldn’t answer if he did. So instead, the man stood in the open doorway fuming.

“Jack stop being a child.” The director's voice said behind him with exasperation.

“I just want to know what’s so important on his phone.” There wasn’t a faint whine in his voice, there wasn’t!

Matty rolled her eyes and sighed before handing him a piece of paper. “I’m only giving you this in the interest of getting some peace.” Then she turned and disappeared back into the house. Jack looked down at the paper and realized it was an address. One he recognized as being the nearby mall. Running for his car he hopped in and cranked it. 

When he arrived he circled the area slowly, finding Mac’s Jeep he parked next to it but found no sign of the kid. His spy senses tingled and he realized there was a stream of people walking all in the same direction and they had their faces glued to their phone and bricks of varying kinds. Just like his partner. Grinning he tailed them and went around the corner of the building before skidding to a halt. A large group of people were gathered. They were separated into three large groups. Most were laughing and chatting, while a small group of three people huddled together talking in a hurried whisper. Scanning them he found Mac standing off to the side and chatting amicably with a couple people. His face crinkled in laughter and he waved his hand around. That’s when he noticed he had the two phones strapped into some kind of contraption and held it in his hand. He was about to approach when a loud yell caught everyone’s attention.

“Alright, is everyone split up into their groups?” At a murmured agreement the three people separated to each group. The one who had spoken stood near Mac. They seemed to know each other and there was another round of laughter. “Ok Valor! Your code is Pikachu, Charmander and Squirtle.” Those names sounded familiar to him somehow but he couldn’t quite place it.

They all stood around a couple seconds but they were focused grimly on their phones. He had never seen such dedication on so many people at one time. Then it was like a switch was flipped and everyone was tapping rapidly on their phone. Mac was managing to do it on both phones and he wasn’t the only one who had more than one. There was a concentrated silence for a while and then a couple of whoops. Now the group were swirling their fingers around the phone and lifting them off. Several swore angrily.

“Yes!” He heard his partners voice above the others and looked at him. His face was lit up in a pleased expression and he tilted the two phones to the person next to him so they could see.

“You got both? No way! Riley will be stoked!” So they knew Riley too? What the hell was going on.

“Speaking of, I should go. We had a cookout going on and my friend over there is going to implode.” Jack realized he had been spotted when Mac nodded in his direction giving him a teasing smile. At least he wasn’t upset about being followed. When the blond approached they turned and walked to their vehicles in silence for a moment.

“What in Sam Hill was that?” He finally blurted out.

“Sam hill? Careful old man, your age is showing.” His friend teased blue eyes dancing. “It’s a game.” He finally answered. “If you want Riley and I can show you but at home. She doesn’t know I caught Mewtwo yet.”

That name was familiar too. He thought hard and nodded absently getting into his truck and following his partner home. They parked and wandered in the house. The kid made a beeline for Riley and handed her her phone.

“I got both of them!” He said proudly and she squealed in delight hugging his waist as she opens her phone to look.

“98%! What’s yours?” She asked eagerly.

“97%, you got the better one.” He grinned and didn’t seem to mind. The names were still rolling around in his head and then the lightbulb went off.

“Hang on...Pikachu, the little electric rat umm Pokémon?” He stumbled on the last word. Mac looked suitably impressed and Riley was shocked.

“Oh no Mac you didn’t.” Bozer said from behind him. “You didn’t start playing Pokémon Go did you?” He said voice pleading and Mac shifted his feet grinning sheepishly. “And you got Riley sucked in?” He sounded desperate.

“Hey, Riley sucked herself in. Pokemon is the bomb.” The tech nerd said sharply.

“Yea you used to watch the show every afternoon!” Jack said the memory coming back to him.

“Mac did too. I couldn’t stand the creepy things but he was in love.” Bozer grumbled going back to his food.

“Well you know our secret now.” Mac said trailing off, ignoring his roommates muttering.

“Yes and I have one question.” He leaned towards them sternly. They glanced at each other and back at him hesitantly. “How do I play?” 

“Not you too Jack!” Bozer cried disparagingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this one in honor of my friends and our Pokémon Go weekends. Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	13. Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac can’t disarm a bomb, but he can minimize the damage...just as soon as Jack is clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing about bombs and I didn’t bother to research so...willing suspension of disbelief and all that!

“Do you have a plan yet?” Jack yelled from where he was pacing in front of the metal doors. The only way in or out of the room holding the massive bomb.

Mac wiped sweat from his eyes as he squinted at the wires, trying to figure out exactly how to disarm it. It wasn’t like any he had seen before and the clock was running down quickly. He huffed mildly in frustration, he’d been asked that question a dozen times in the last fifteen minutes.

“Jack, when I have a plan you will be the first to know!” He snapped, he would feel bad about that later but for now he hadpeoples lives in his hands. Including his partner and the rest of their team. 

As the time ticked down, he knew he wouldn’t be able to disarm it. In his ear he heard Riley say that she and Bozer had got everyone out. That was good, he could focus on minimizing the blast. The problem was he would need to be inside the room because he needed to the blast to go outwards and up. He couldn’t take his best friend with him, if the man didn’t survive Mac wouldn’t survive. His eyes darted around the room. He could take care of the blast and get himself out mostly unharmed but he knew Jack wouldn’t just leave, not if he knew what the real plan was. Luckily for the blond agent the older man’s com had been smashed. He couldn’t hear what was going on and the kid decided to use it to his advantage. Cupping his hand around it so the others couldn’t hear he called to the delta.

“Riley and Bozer need a hand outside, someone’s trying to burst in. I have a plan but just in case everyone needs to be out.” To prove his point he began collecting innocuous items. Most of which he wouldn’t actually use. His friend seemed to buy it though.

“Alright tell them I’m coming, where do I meet you?” He asked tilting his head in question.

“I’ll meet you outside.” Mav promised. “The building might be compromised so we can’t let anyone in until it’s been checked out. I’ll be fine.” He added seeing the look on his friends face.

“See you soon buddy. Which exit they need me at.” Mac knew they had gone out the front and he needed to buy himself time before Jack came storming back. “Out the back!” He yelled and the man took off.

As soon as he was out of sight Mac sprang into action and shoved the furniture against the wall and piled it up as a shield against the bomb. Keeping his eye on the clock he built it up as high as he could with what he had. He hoped it would be good enough. Grabbing a blanket that was laying about he made a makeshift parachute. Chewing on his lip he found a tank of Oxygen. Luckily for him this was a lab so he could work with most everything available. Moving over to the window he looked down. It was really high, his head spun and his stomach rolled dangerously but he swallowed the bile back down.

“Riley.” He said his voice cracking. He couldn’t see her way down below in the crowd but he knew she was there.

“Mac what are you doing? Jack said you sent him out here to help us.”

“What did you say?” He asked licking his lips.

“I sent him to do something.” She said exasperatedly.

“Good...that’s good.” His voice lowered as he took deep breaths.

“What’s going in?” He heard the note of worry in her voice.

“I told him I had a plan, I just didn’t tell him I might not survive the plan.” She started to respond but he talked over her. “I’m out of time Ri, I’m jumping out the window. Just make sure everyone stays way back, I did my best to contain the bomb but I don’t want debris or me to land on someone.” He joked weakly but neither of them laughed.

“There has to be another way!” She argued and he heard Jack’s voice in the background demanding what was going on.

“Too late, see you down there.” With a deep breath he jumped.

His stomach rose and sank as the fake parachute caught. He used the oxygen tank to try and direct himself faster from the building. Still several feet from the ground it exploded behind him and he was swept forward. The ground was coming towards him fast and he realized something had punctured the blanket. He swallowed and tried to relax. When he hit he rolled and skidded before collapsing on his side, unable to breathe. He tried to keep his eyes open, hearing his name being yelled but the world went dark.

 

—-

A steady beep greeted Mac when he came into consciousness. He knew that meant hospital but he was puzzled as to what brought him there this time. Thinking deeply a scream and an explosion rang in his ears. He remembered and forced his eyes open. The room was empty or so he thought at first until a low sigh reached his ears. He tilted his head to the right and saw Jack in one of the uncomfortable chairs provided. His head was tilted back as he slept and Mac was afraid he was going to throw his back out. Wincing at all the bruises and lacerations he pulled, he reached over and patted his partner on the knee. The reaction was instantaneous. He was awake and standing looking around for a threat. Slowly awareness came back to his eyes and he looked down at Mac.

There was relief which quickly morphed into anger and he sat down again staring sternly.

“What the hell was that?” He hissed.

“I didn’t want you to get a stiff neck? You’re welcome.” Mac said eyebrows raised. He knew that isn’t what the man met but he didn’t really care for his tone.

“I’m not joking Mac! You told me you had a plan!” He was fighting to keep his voice low but the blond still flinched.

“I did have a plan, one I’m assuming worked. I even met you downstairs like I promised!” The look the ex delta gave him made him slightly afraid the man was going to deck him right here in the hospital bed. “Someone had to be on the inside to make a barrier for the bomb and I could only get one person out.”

“Then it should have been me!” Jack hissed.

“No it should have been me! I couldn’t go on if you had died because I couldn’t disarm the bomb!” He must be on the good stuff, he was having trouble screening his words. He winced and closed his eyes only opening them in shock she a rough calloused hand took his own. He looked over at his friend startled.

“And you think I could? Mac I followed YOU to LA. What do you think it would do to me if you died because I wasn’t there to watch your back?” He swallowed hard.

“You’d be fine, you have Riley.” Mac said voice less certain.

“Riley isn’t you!” Jack yelled squeezing his hand tighter.

They sat staring at each other until they both calmed down. Finally Mac sighed.

“Next time I’ll make two parachutes.” He finally said.

Jack smiled accepting the olive branch. “That’s all I ask brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	14. Utilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac is injured and Jack is on the warpath.

Jack strode through the Phoenix Foundation. Anyone who looked at him, immediately found other places to be. The ex delta was generally the nicest guy around except perhaps his partner. That was unless someone had done something to said partner, then he got dangerous. After the Christmas Debacle of 2014 everyone knew better then to be in the way when he was protecting Angus Macgyver. The older man figured it was just as well. Less obstacles between himself and the director. He found her, as normal, in the War room watching a stream of news and tapping away on her phone.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He roared pushing his way inside the room and shutting the door.

Matty, to her credit, only raised an eyebrow at him face impassive.

“What do you mean?” She asked and she sounded honestly confused but that couldn’t be.

“What do I mean?” He asked eyes narrowing. “Do you know what the definition of Utilities is? A public service, as a telephone or electric-light system, a streetcar or railroad line, or the like!”

“I know what utilities are Jack!” Matty snapped at him. “What’s your point?”

“My point is no where on that list does it say Angus Macgyver!” He burst out. “He’s a human being, one who just got the shit kicked out of him just a few days ago and he shouldn’t be back to work already! He can barely see straight because of the concussion!”

“I know Jack, that’s why I gave you both the week off!”

“Then how come someone called him and now he’s here working!”

Matty straightened and her eyes narrowed dangerously. “You go get boy genius and take him home, I’ll take care of Oversight.”

“Oversight?” Jack squaked. “You mean to tell me they went over your head and called him in!” His eyes glinted dangerously. He took a deep breath. “I really want to deck whoever it is but I know you’ll take care of it properly and I have a kid to take care of.”

“Thank you Jack.” She sighed in relief, she’d been afraid she couldn’t control him this time. “And thank you for telling me, this won’t happen again.” She promised.

Jack nodded curtly and left the room. His stride was still long and fast but he was more relaxed and so nobody avoided him this time. He took the steps two at a time down the the lab level. He knew exactly where Mac was, he’d called Riley and had her ping his cellphone. He went in the room where his partner sat hunched over a table. The kid was even paler than Normal with black circles around his eyes. Bruises stood out starkly on his neck and arms under the fluorescent lights and he looked out of it.

“Come on kid, time to go.” Jack said grabbing his jacket and walking over to him. The blond slowly turned his face to Jack and frowned.

“I can’t. I have to do this.” His voice was rough and Jack’s temper went off again. His partner had been choked to the point he passed out and some asshat had thought it appropriate to interrupt his time off and call him in.

“Matty is taking care of the mistake, you are coming home with me and resting. No arguments.” Despite what he said it looked as though he was going to argue anyway. Then his phone buzzed. He glanced down at it and Jack saw his body relax with relief.

“Ok.” He sighed and staggered to his feet. Jack steadied him before handing him his coat. 

They went out to the parking garage, Mac had grabbed a ride in with Bozer so he obediently climbed into Jack’s car and buckled up. He leaned his head back against the seat, eyes trying to flutter closed. When they started to move he rolled his head to the left to look at his partner.

“Thank you Jack.” He said quietly.

“Always kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a difficult prompt XD
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	15. Text Messages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murdoc takes Mac again! Maybe Jack should just handcuff him to his side...

MacGyver woke up slowly. His head pounded and he felt woozy. He squinted his eyes and looked around dazed. He vaguely recalled being knocked over the head, he had floated in and out of consciousness and he was certain he had heard Murdoc’s voice. Flinching he forced himself to focus. The room he was in was empty, it was small and made of wood. The scent of mold made his already queasy stomach roll more. Moving his arms and legs he was confused to find that he was free. Maybe it hadn't been Murdoc? But if not where was he and how had he gotten there?

“Jack?” He called voice rough and weak. He cleared his throat and tried again but nobody answered. Dragging himself to his feet he stumbled and caught himself on the wall, standing still until he felt he could move without toppling back to the floor.

The first thing he did was search the room. His first observation wasn’t completely correct, near where he had been laying was a black flip phone. He studied it closely before slowly picking it up and opening it. He looked it over but he didn’t think it was attached to a bomb or anything. Opening it, he found it turned on easily. Eagerly he typed in the phone number he had memorized. But nothing happened. Frowning he moved to the texting app and put the number in. Hoping that this worked, he typed up a message.

-Jack, I don’t know where I am.-

It appeared to send, he chewed his lip anxiously and slowly stumbled towards the door. Slowly he opened it and peered out. He was in a forest of some kind, not anywhere he recognized, so he hadn’t ended up at his grandfather's cabin. Going completely out he closed the door before hissing and squinting in the sunlight. It sent a sharp pain through his head and he couldn’t stop from leaning over and heaving. His headache thumped painfully and nothing came up but bile. Closing his eyes he finally managed to stop and straighten up again. He wished there had been something in the cabin to use for sunglasses. A beep caught his attention. He’d received a text message.

-Mac, is that you? Riley can’t track the phone you texted from.-

He could read the older man’s worry through the text but all he felt was relief, having contact with his partner made the ordeal less frightening.

-it’s me, I think it was Murdoc. I don’t know where he is. I think this is a burner phone. I can’t make calls either.-

-Shit. We caught Murdoc, I think it was on purpose but he won’t tell us anything. I’ll come find you. What do you see?-

What did he see? His head was pounding and thinking was difficult.

-Trees-

-Ookay, so you’re in the forest. What else do you see.-

Mac frowned in concentration.

-....more trees?-

-I’m going to need more to work with kid.-

The blond sighed and moved forward. He took it slow so he didn’t move his head too fast and make himself sick. Taking out his Swiss Army knife, he couldn’t believe the psycho hadn’t taken it, he made a mark in a tree he passed. If he couldn’t find his way out, at least he could get back to the cabin for shelter. Brush and plants tugged at his clothes as he pushed through. He wanted to throw something at the birds, their chirps like daggers in his temples. Focus was still difficult but he still wasn’t seeing anything other than trees. Another beep.

-Mac!-

Oh right, Jack had been talking to him.

-I’m looking.-

-Don’t go silent on me!-

Mac paused he realized wandering through the woods wasn’t helping anyone. Looking around him, he did his best to gauge the sunlight and get his direction.

-Going West-

He knew, now that his mind was a little clearer, that that didn’t help but Jack would appreciate him keeping in contact. He shuffled along. The day wore on and he didn’t seem to be any closer to figuring out where he was. Shivers wracked his body, he was tired and in pain. The sun wasn’t coming through as well and a chill settled across him.

-Cold.-

Mac’s inhibitions were low. Normally he wouldn’t bother to say such a thing but out of it he missed Jack and wished he was there to make it better. It frightened him that he had allowed someone to get so close to him. He had told himself after his grandpa had died and left him that he wouldn’t let anyone in that much again. Losing his mother, his father's abandonment had been almost too much. The loss of the man who had pretty much raised him had broken something inside him. Something that cracked further when Pena died. Then a loud mouth Texan Ex Delta had walked into his life and everything went out the window. Mac felt again, wanted to live again. He owed so much to Jack and would do anything for him.

-I’m here Mac, I’ll find you. I promise.-

It wasn’t a promise the man could really make, but it made him feel better nonetheless. He wished he had been paying closer attention to where was going. His foot slipped out from under him and he went flying. The ground became a hill and he rolled down it coming to a skidding stop. Laying to catch his breath and attempting to not vomit, it was a long moment before he realized the phone was beeping again. That was a relief, he had thought it would have smashed in his trip. Spitting a leaf out of his mouth he fumbled it out of his pocket and squinted at it. The screen made his eyes burn but it was his only connection to his friends.

-See anything different?-

The blond lifted his head. A jolt ripped through him when he realized he did see something different. Pulling himself up he limped across the grass until his feet hit pavement.

-It’s a road!-

He looked both ways biting his lip again, before deciding to go left, in a general southern direction. He hoped he found a sign or something soon.

-Pavement or dirt?-

-Pavement.-

-Riley has found several safe houses connected to Murdoc. We know you’re still in California, you haven’t been gone long enough for him to have taken you anywhere else. We will try and narrow it down. Hang tight brother.-

Mac stumbled along the road. His eyes were heavy and he had to fight to keep them open. At one point he felt liquid running down the side of his head. He winced at the sharp pain when he touched his hand to the spot. Pulling his fingers away he gagged when he saw they were coated in blood. 

-How you doing kid?-

The blond seriously began to wonder if Jack was a mind reader. He didn’t want to lie but he didn’t want to worry them more, so he decided to stay vague.

-The same, no signs yet.-

The phone went silent then and he continued to stumble along. It was becoming harder and harder to make his sore body move. He was so tired, he wanted to lay down and nap. 

Mac didn’t know how long he’d been walking when he almost ran straight into a pole. He wobbled and stared blankly at it, trying to figure out why it was important. A beep sounded and he moved his head slowly around trying to figure out where it had come from. He heard it again and his mind slowly processed that it was coming from his pocket. It took several moments for his fumbling fingers to slide the phone out of his pocket. Somewhere along the way in his daze, he’d forgotten about it. Ten missed messages popped up. Varying degrees of worry from Jack until the last one.

-Dammit Mac! Don’t do this to me! Please answer!-

His fingers stumbled over the keys and he had to delete several times before he could send a response.

-Sign, Apple Acres-

The response was immediate, as if Jack had been staring at the text screen, waiting for an answer. Come to think of it, that was probably exactly what he was doing.

-Jesus Kid! Don’t leave me in the dark again.-

He couldn’t promise that, he couldn’t go any further. He stumbled to the side of the road and fell behind a bush. He had wanted to go further but standing seemed like too much of a task.

-Cant- 

-Stay awake! Riley knows where you are, we’re coming to get you-

He’d already long passed out, the phone slipping from his fingers and clattering to the ground next to him.

Something tapped his face and he groaned and tried to wave it away. His hands wouldn’t cooperate and the tapping wouldn’t stop. His mind drifted offline again until the tapping was replaced with a sting. Irritated he tried to open his eyes, why was it so difficult. A voice drifted in his ears, it was familiar. Jack. He sounded worried. Groaning he tried again and this time forced his eyes open. He blinked wincing when the light seared his eyes making his headache worse. It had been pounding in the background but now it was almost all he was aware of. Blankly he tried to focus. His partners concerned face floated into view and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Jack, came.” He said voice barely above a whisper.

Jack’s look hardened but was tender as well and he gently pushed his bangs off his forehead.

“I’ll always come kiddo.” He promised. “You had me worried. The ambulance is almost here.”

Mac felt his heart quicken at the thought of being pulled away from his friend. He didn’t know why he was so panicked, he just knew that if Jack was there he was safe. He gripped the man’s hand tightly and luckily he seemed to understand.

“Don’t worry buddy, I’m with you the whole time. Not letting you out of my sight, possibly forever.” He hesitated as his face fell in guilt. “I’m sorry he took you again and I wasn’t there to stop him.”

“Not your..” Mac tried to force the words out but he was having difficulty. He wished this headache would go away so he could think clearly. “Fault.” He finally finished and grimaced closing his eyes.

“Mac wake up!” The panicked voice had him opening them back up again immediately. Were those tears in his friends eyes?

“Tired. Head hurts.” He couldn’t help the faint whine in his voice.

“I know son, I’m pretty sure you have a monster concussion but you need to stay with me. Please.” He had called him son before, but usually only when he was really worried and when he thought Mac wouldn’t remember. He did though, every time. It warmed a place inside of him that he always thought would be broken. Afraid of ruining things or upsetting his friend, he never said anything. Too bad he had absolutely no filter when concussed.

“Like that.” He wished he could string together more than one word, this was important.

“You like what?” Jack asked looking at him worriedly again.

“Mmm call me son.” He slurred, he was so tired. His eyes slipped closed without noticing and he heard Jack gasp.

“It’s always been true and I’ll call you it forever if you stay awake!” His voice raised at the end.

“Sorry.” Mac mumbled and drifted off again.

When he woke again it was to a familiar beep. He wondered if this time the hospital would give him a preferred member discount. The blond thought back trying to remember why he was there. He remembered a headache, cabin, falling and a road. There was a sign and then Jack. Jack and he had spoken and… oh god had he said that out loud. He forced his eyes open and looked around. He was pleased that his head didn’t feel like it was breaking in half anymore. Turning to look he saw Jack huddled in the chair next to him. The man was staring across the room blankly.

“You ok?” Mac asked causing his partner to jump and look over at him.

“Mac!” He exclaimed and scooted his chair closer. “Man I thought you were never going to wake up.”

“How long?” He asked grimacing as he tried to sit up. Jack slid his arm under his shoulders to lift him, fluffing his pillows so he could sit up more.

“Three days.” Jack’s face was grim. “I wanted to strangle that bastard but Matty wouldn’t let me. Sent him off to solitary confinement. Too good for the psycho if you ask me.” Mac laughed, voice hitching as he pulled a bruise. They fell into silence, it was awkward and it made his heart twist. He didn’t want things to be awkward with them, it never had been before. His relationship with Jack had always been easy. They just got each other.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make things weird.” He finally blurted out. “We can just pretend it was the concussion, I never would have said anything otherwise anyway.”

“Mac,son.” He stressed the word to get his attention and it worked. “I’m glad you told me.” He took his hand and squeezed it gently. “This just puts a word to a relationship that was already there. I didn’t want to step on your toes, especially when you're looking for your father.”

“I’m looking because I want to know. Not because I need him.”His voice cracked, dried out and his partner slipped an ice chip between his lips, he grunted appreciatively.

“You won’t get rid of me.” Jack said eyes crinkled as he grinned. “Although you need to brush up on your observational skills because really? What was I going to do with trees.”

“I was concussed!” Mac protested with a pout. “You asked me what I saw and all I saw was trees. Nothing else was really filtering through.”

“When your feeling better, this is going to be hilarious.”

“Shut up Jack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again liberties were taken lol
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	16. Life After Divorce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack has a secret and Mac plans to figure it out.

The first time Mac walked in on Jack being strange, he couldn’t see what he was up too. He had shot up off the couch, something in his hands and by the time he turned it had disappeared. The blond hadn’t seen a shape or size, nothing to determine what the object could have been. He was curious about it because his partner was flushed and not much embarrassed Jack Dalton. But they had a mission to get too and the man was being tight lipped. Anyone who loved Jack and counted him as family (check mark for Mac on both accounts) knew that sometimes he was just a weird dude. The younger agent chalked it up to that and promptly forgot about the whole thing. Being chased through North Korea for the fifth time in your career would do that to you.

The second time, he caught sight of something retangular before it disappeared. Jack had coughed, cheeks red again and ushered him out of his apartment. Mac was a little worried, what if it was something serious. He tried to question the man who had begun to get irritated and snapped at him to drop it.

“Just tell me if you’re ok!” Mac had snapped back, his face must have given away his worry because Jack’s had softened and faintly looked guilty. The blond hadn’t meant to snap but his world had been flipped upside down in the last few months and while he was back working at Phoenix and his father was back to hiding it made things difficult. He couldn’t stand if something happened to Jack.

“Kid I promise, if there was something wrong with me in any way you would be the first to know. I need you there with me, not on the outside looking in.” That had relaxed him and they had gone out to lunch and the newest Bruce Willis movie they’d been meaning to see. This time though, Mac didn’t forget. It bounced around in the back of his mind. 

The third time, Mac decided he just had to know what it was. This time when he walked in the apartment it took longer for his partner to notice him. He still hid the object of his fascination away but now the blond knew what to look for, some kind of book. A plan brewing in his mind, he half heartedly questioned Jack so he wouldn’t get suspicious. But he let it drop much faster than last time, his partner eager to go to the Monster Truck rally had hardly noticed, preferring to discuss all his favorite drivers and cars in extreme detail. Lucky for him Mac found it interesting. They’d brought Bozer and Riley once but the two had gotten bored before the trucks even came out and had bailed. They’d been alright with it though, they liked having time just the two of them when they weren’t being threatened or shot at.

Mac spent days mulling over how he was going to figure out Jack’s secret when the perfect opportunity presented itself. Jack had been called on by Matty to join a team in South America. Both of them had argued that Mac should come along, they really didn’t like being separated. The director had remained firm and the ex delta had left. Albeit disgruntled. The younger agent had moped around Phoenix the rest of the day, and apparently that had caused some waves. He heard through the water cooler grapevine that Riley, Bozer and Jill had all stood up to Matty and given her a sound lecture about keeping them apart. She had even approached him later and in a roundabout way apologized, assuring him they wouldn’t do it again.

Feeling better about the situation, Mac had decided use the time to find the book. He told Bozer he was going out and not to wait up for him. Then he took his Jeep and headed straight for Jack’s place. Using the key he’d been given the day the man had moved in, he let himself in. Immediately he felt relaxed. It felt like Jack there, felt like a second home. Locking the door behind him, he got right to work. He scoped out the entire room, leaving nothing unturned or looked under around or through. When he found nothing there he moved to the kitchen, and dining room. Avoiding the man’s bedroom he went into the bathroom. Bust there as well. Sighing he finally ducked in. He’d been in there before but never without Jack. Mac wondered if he’d gone to far but he was already here and he really wanted to know.

Glancing around the room, painted in deep blues and grays his eyes landed on the bedside stand. Praying to whatever entity might be out there (he was a scientist, he couldn’t disprove it but he couldn’t prove it either) that there was nothing weird in there, he slid the drawer open. There on top, he knew, was the object of his search. It was a well worn book with the shadow of a large bosomed woman on the cover. The title was “Life After Divorce.” Curious, Mac picked it up and opened it reading the first line.

It was a cheesy novel that one would find in a XXX store but somehow he couldn’t seem to put it down. Instead he sat on Jack’s bed, kicking his shoes off and leaning back. He only planned to read a couple chapters to see what had his partner so engulfed.

A few hours later he closed the book as he finished the last page. It had been surprisingly good for what it was, but it was irritating because it definitely left off on a cliffhanger. Pulling out his phone he tried searching to see if there were anymore. He grinned when he realized that not only was there another book, but the local store had it in stock. Scrambling up, he texted Bozer to tell him he wouldn’t be back that evening and pulled his shoes on.

Mac made it to the store in record time. He immediately went to the back after flashing his ID to the cashier. Digging around he found what he was looking for, tucked in the back. Uninterested in anything else and eager to get to reading, he paid and left. Stopping by the pizza shop next door he got a small cheese for dinner and headed back to his partners apartment. In no time he was settled on the couch with a plate and the book, eyes rapidly crossing the pages. The blond just barely finished the book when a wave of exhaustion washed over him. He set the plate and book down, tugging the blanket that Jack kept on the couch down around himself and fell asleep.

When he woke in the morning, he cleaned up his mess. Smirking he wrote a note and tucked it in the second book before placing both of them in Jack’s bedside stand. He let himself out of the apartment, locking up and nodding to one of the neighbors. They all seemed to think he was Jack’s kid who came to visit quite often, neither of them had felt the need to correct the misconception. The drive to work was quick and he joined Bozer in the lab, they were working on the robot more while Jack wasn’t around to turn him into a fratboy. They tinkered around in silence.

The door burst open and Bozer jumped with a high pitched squeak. Mac barely looked up, recognizing the sound of his partner’s footsteps on the linoleum. That was until an arm grabbed him in a head lock and ruffled his hair. He dropped his tools and tried to escape.

“Jack!” He protested though it was ruined by his laughter. The ex delta let him up and pulled him into a quick hug.

“Brother, I heard half this place went to bat with Matty the Hun! No more separate missions, just the way I like it!” The Texan laughed releasing Mac. “How’d you manage that.” The blond shrugged and Bozer spoke up.

“He looked like someone kicked his puppy, it was sad and pathetic. It probably made the co-dependency thing worse but man, we couldn’t stand it anymore.” The lab tech said. Mac rolled his eyes and shrugged.

“There you have it.” He said.

“You’re puppy dog eyes are legendary, I’ll give you that.” Jack chuckled. Mac got an idea and smirked. 

“Life After Divorce.” He said in a mild voice as he turned away. There was dead silence.

“What did you say?” Jack asked in a strangled. 

“The drill.” Mac said louder pointing to it. “Will you hand it to me?”

He watched his partner laugh awkwardly and hand it over.

“Well I gotta go, got the next couple days off. But pizza tonight?” He pointed to Mac and then Bozer in question.

“Yea, come by whenever and we’ll order.” The blond responded going back to his work. The man bid them goodbye and left. Mac glanced at his watch timing when his friend would get home. To the minute, his phone beeped.

-I knew you weren’t talking about a drill-

Then a moment later.

-Hey I didn’t know there was a second! Thanks buddy!-

He chuckled, waving Bozer off when he asked what was up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	17. White Bread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The act of making the sandwich is soothing, even if it will sit uneaten.

Mac entered the house and shut the door behind him. He slumped back against it with a long exhausted sigh before he felt steady enough to continue. Walking further into the wooden cabin, he sat the groceries he’d stopped to get on the counter and went to drop off his backpack in the master bedroom. It felt empty and lonely but he ignored it and went back out into the main area. He would have to get used too being alone now that he was the only one no longer on the team. Everyone else would go off to missions that he wouldn’t know about, in places he had no idea of. Anger burned in his stomach and his head ached from confusion and over thinking. Mac knew he wasn’t wrong, his feelings raged inside, for he knew he couldn’t work with his father anymore. he childish part of him thought it should have been his father to quit, not him.

However the man had proven his job was more important than Mac, in fact, he’d proven that everything was more important than Mac. In many occasion he’d made it clear that it had been the blond boys fault he had abandoned him, so of course he would have to be the one to leave. He sighed ruffling his hair as he wondered how long his friends would put up with him now that he wasn’t being useful in saving their lives. He was fairly uninteresting and geeky. At the very least he supposed Jack would tire of him and move on. The thought made his heart clench. He had spent so much time looking for the family that abandoned him, that he’d ignored the one he had found. If he had just left it alone, he could have pretended his father gave a shit about him and he would have Jack who was his father, big brother and best friend all rolled into one. He loved Bozer and he was like his brother too but Jack always just got him. Without thought or explanation and now he’d lost it.

The milk went in the fridge, along with the lunch meat, cheese and condiments. For something to do he left the white bread, peanut butter and jelly on the counter. He wasn’t hungry and probably wouldn’t eat it but the act of making it would be soothing. Generally he ate very healthy but when he needed a comfort food, he’d always turned to white bread peanut butter sandwiches. Tossing the bags in the trash, he went to the drawer and got a couple knives before pulling a plate out of the cabinet. Slapping two slices of bread on it, he opened the peanut butter and began to spread it on. The smell was familiar but as churned up as he was, it made him feel nauseous. The blond pushed through it as he spread the jelly on. Putting the bread together, he cut the sandwich into triangles. Standing he collected the dirty dishes and the food. He put the edible items away and washed the knives before sticking them in the drainer. 

Leaving the sandwich on the table, he wandered back into the other room and began to pull the white furniture covers off. He opened the blinds and windows to let fresh air in, before starting a small fire in the fireplace. Taking the sheets down to the basement, he put them in the washer and started them up. Back upstairs he glanced around before sitting heavily on the couch and staring blankly into the fire. It wasn’t nearly as exciting to be here alone as it was with his friends. Sighing he lay back against the cushions. He hadn’t been sleeping well for weeks so it finally caught up to him and he dozed off. The blond missed the banging on the door, but woke when he heard a crash.

Sitting up with a startled sniff he looked around sleepily. Hearing a curse and another crash he jumped up feeling a little bit more awake. Stumbling forward he grabbed the lamp next to him and held it up as he slipped into the other room. He raised it up as the figure turned and caught his wrists. He struggled briefly until he finally figured out who he was fighting with.

“Jack?” He croaked with his sleep filled voice. The man smiled at him though he looked a bit guilty.

“Sorry it took so long. I had more to say when I quit and I wasn’t sure you’d think to bring groceries. I’m not sure white bread qualifies but at least you tried.” He chuckled nodding to the sandwich abandoned on the plate.

“Quit? Why’d you quit?” He asked blankly though he couldn’t contain how much better he felt with his friend there. Knowing eyes watched him and he blushed turning to put the lamp back.

“Because I work with you, and you don’t work there anymore. I’m your bodyguard.” Jack replied.

“You know nobody buys that right?” Mac sighed wistfully.

“Kid, you still have enemies and threats hanging over your head. Quitting the Phoenix doesn’t magically make that go away. And since quitting was the best choice, but leaves you vulnerable. Well, I can’t have that. So here I am and here we are. Until something else that can handle our awesome duo, comes along.”

Words of gratitude and other sentiments poured through his mind but he all he could manage was to collapse against the man and grip his shirt tightly in his fists. He felt his emotions overflow and when he was considering pushing them down again, a familiar hand pressed gently against the back of his head and began to card his hair. He went limp against him and let hot tears fall and soak his shirt. He kept the sound to a minimum and as such could hear Jack whisper to him to let him know he wasn’t alone. They were there for a long time before Mac felt ready to release his friend and stand up. He looked up at his friend and was surprised to see his own eyes were red rimmed, as if he had been crying too.

“Can I offer you a sandwich?” He finally asked waving to the table before they both burst out into laughter.

“Sounds good as long as I don’t have to have that poor dead one.” Jack said clapping him on the shoulder. “That’s just cruel, give the poor thing a proper burial.” He teased as the blond huffed and picked up the plate, dumping the contents into the trash. He grinned as he reached into the refrigerator and pulled out the white bread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	18. Clockwise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s a reason Mac does the building..

-Riley! Jack is helping Mac fix the plumbing, get over here tout suite!-

-Bozer...what’s so interesting about that?-

-You’ve never witnessed bickering to this level, it’s glorious.-

-...Fine but this better be hilarious.-

-You won’t be disappointed.-

Bozer grinned and hopped up on the counter with a bowl of popcorn he’d made for just such an occasion. Mac and Jack were both under the sink, with tools spread all around them. 

“Hammer, Jack.” Mac asked, voice muffled.

The ex delta crawled out and studied the tools before grabbing one and passing it in to his partner. There was a huge sigh.

“I said Hammer, not malet.” He said and his audience could clearly hear the eye roll in his voice.

“What’s the difference?” The older man asked offended. “They both hit things!”

Mac crawled out and gave him an exasperated look. He tossed the rejected implement aside and picked up a hammer.

“That’d be all well and good if I was using it to hit things!” He turned the hammer over. “I need the claws!”

He ducked back under the sink. Jack looked at Bozer and rolled his eyes. “Excuse me for breathing!” He said before following his partner. 

Bozer wheezed he was laughing so hard. It wasn’t often that Jack offered to help Mac, usually he liked to “supervise”. But when he did Mac could never bring himself to tell the man no, even though he knew he was going to end up getting irritated and that the job would take much longer than it normally would. 

“Ok now turn this clockwise.” He heard his roommates voice say. There was a grinding noise. “Your other clockwise Jack!!” The man snapped.

“Wow. I can’t believe clockwise has to be explained to a grown man.” Riley had showed up and she smirked and nodded to Bozer.

“Told you!” He mouthed patting the counter space next to him and holding up the popcorn. 

She jumped up next to him and dug her hand in the bowl, bumping his shoulder.

“Watch it little lady!” Jack yelped from his position.

“Watch what you’re doing!” The blond agent yelled before they heard the hiss of running water. Mac coughed while Jack scrambled out, his top half soaked and water leaking down onto the floor.

His partner soon had the water shut off and they could hear banging and pounding under the sink.

“Grown man, doesn’t know what a hammer is. Can’t turn clockwise, turns the water back on.” He mumbled irritably.

“Hey we can’t all have big brains!” The ex delta snapped.

“How does it take a big brain to know the difference between a hammer and a mallet?!” The kid sputtered.

“You are so grumpy when you have to fix things!” The older man grumbled.

“Fixing things is my job Jack! That’s not what makes me grumpy!” He snarked back.

“Nerd!”

“Grandpa!”

Bozer and Riley held each other up as they laughed. Jack turned his gaze to them with a pout.

“You two can quit laughing!” His pout deepened when they laughed harder.

“You’re hopeless Jack!” Riley managed to gasp out before another round of laughter took her over.

Too busy laughing they didn’t notice when Mac slid out from under the sink. He was soaked, hair plastered to his face and neck. Grease ran down his cheeks and covered his hands. He gave them a sneaky look before he stood up and pulled the sprayer hose out of the sink. Smirking he pointed it at his friends and flipped the water on. 

“Mac!” Riley squealed jumping up and running from the room, Bozer at her heels. His chuckles and Jacks booming laughter following them.

“What are you laughing for?” The blond asked the older man the same mischievous look on his face.

“Don’t you dare.” Jack said trying to stand and slipping back down in the puddle of water. “Mac!”

He stared at him turning the sprayer slowly.

“Don’t you dare!” The kid grinned and flicked the water back on. “Angus!” He yelled and slipped his way out of the kitchen.

“You all deserved it!” He yelled.

Double checking everything, he deemed it fixed. Humming he grabbed a couple towels out of the cupboard and began to clean the mess they had made. Sure Jack could be irritating but he wouldn’t trade the time spent with him for anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	19. Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *CONTAINS MxM, just a kiss but if you don’t like, don’t read*
> 
> Jack always finds Mac and always will.

The tiles pressed against Mac’s back but he hardly took any notice. He had been going up on the roof for a long time, since right after his mother had passed. It was a place he could get away, that no one could easily find him and he felt like he could breathe. He sucked in the warm summer air and let out a breath trying to relax. The agent had been on edge all day. Sleep had been sparse for weeks, he had hoped finding his father would make it better. But now he had nightmares including the impassioned speech the man had given him trying to tell him he didn’t blame him while at the same time blaming him for his leaving. Matty had convinced him to come back to work after a string of experiments went wrong, led Jack to nearly have heart failure. She promised it would go back to the way it had always been. Oversight would be an entity out of sight and out of mind.

Mac knew his friends worried about him, but he brushed them off when they asked him to talk. He didn’t know what to say; didn’t want to burden them any further with his daddy issues. He wasn’t sure how much more of his whining they could take anyway and he was painfully aware it was coming up on ten years since Jack had walked into his life really soon. A part of him feared, had always feared that at the ten year mark his partner would suddenly see what his father had and walk out. If he was being honest it was that thought, more than those about his father, that kept him up at night. He’d lived without his father most of his life, even when he was around he wasn't. Either out, what he now assumed were missions, or in his lab. He taught Mac, wanted him to be smart but he never let him in his lab when he was working. Told him he was too much of a distraction. 

Jack was different. He didn’t know if he could go on without the other man and live a happy life. He was his family, his best friend and his partner all rolled into one. Mac would have liked it to be more, but he would never say so for fear of ruining what they already had. Instead each of them went on failed date after failed date. The blond because his heart wasn’t in it and Jack he could only ascertain, was because he didn’t like to lie and didn’t want to get attached again to someone he couldn’t be honest with. The kid knew the situation with Riley and her mom had really torn him up.

Mac’s thoughts were interrupted by the slide of the attic window and footsteps carefully picking their way across the roof. He knew it couldn’t be Bozer, he was more afraid of heights then the blond. He never understood how he could get up there, but to Mac it was different. He doubted Riley would even know where to find him so that left..

“You ok kid?” Jacks warm voice, full of concern reached his ear. He tilted his head that was pillowed on his hands back to look up at him.

“Yea, I’m fine.” He responded, he figured Jack would leave then so was surprised when instead he got down and lay right beside him.

The heat from his partner soaked into his side and he relaxed further with a small sigh. No one had ever come up with him before but he found that it didn’t bother him. He wanted to shift closer but they were already touching and he was afraid any movement would be misconstrued as discomfort and Jack would move away.

“It’s beautiful.” The older man said in a hushed voice.

“It is.” Mac agreed.” It’s one of my favorite places to think.” He added in offering. He could hear the smile in the man’s voice when he spoke again.

“You know I don’t believe you right? You aren’t fine and that’s ok. A lot of crap has happened lately but I wish you would talk to me about it.” His voice was gentle.

“It’s not a problem you have to worry about.” He finally said. “I can handle it.”

A calloused hand gently cupped his chin and tilted his head. He startled when he realized he could stare right into his brown eyes. His heart thumped in his chest and he swore that his partner must be able to hear it. He licked his lips nervously and watched as those eyes followed its trail before looking into his own again.

“I don’t doubt that you can Mac, you’ve dealt with a lot in your life. I know you can but you don’t have to by yourself. Not anymore.” His voice was soft and soothing, there was a deep tinder to it that Mac felt he recognized but couldn’t quite place.

“How much of my angst are you going deal with before you get sick of me too?” It slipped out before he could stop it and he winced in regret when he read the flash of hurt on his partner’s face. “Sorry.” He muttered, turning his face away but the hand held him steady so he looked back up.

“If you weren’t such a pacifist, I’d go knock your father’s block off.” He said fiercely. Mac gave him a watery smile. The moonlight streamed down and washed over the other man nearly taking his breath away. He wished he could say he was his. Without permission he shifted closer, their noses brushing together and still Jack didn’t pull away or look disgusted. To the contrary, Mac noticed his pupils blown wide and a small smile. He wanted to make the last move but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, to risk losing the man.

“For crying out loud Mac.” Jack huffed before moving forward. Their lips connected and Mac moaned softly. 

The hand on his chin shifted to cup his cheek as they deepened the kiss. After what felt like too short of time, Jack pulled back, eyed dancing in delight but searching as well. He chuckled when Mac whined at the loss. He tugged him closer and the blond found himself cuddled against his side, head pillowed on his shoulder. He hummed and nuzzled his neck.

They remained entangled like that, bathed in the moonlight enjoying each other’s company and imagining the future they now could have together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	20. Circles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Mac, I give him lots of concussions. Bozer and Riley bickering in the background doesn’t help.

“Come on kid wake up!” Jack pleaded tapping his partner’s face gently, but the kid didn’t move. He lay limply on the floor head tilted to the side, blood dripping sluggishly from a wound at his temple. The older agent could feel anxiety threaten to overwhelm him, only years of practice made it possible to keep a hold on himself, tremulous though it was. In the background he could hear Riley and Bozer snapping at each other as they tried to think of a way out of their predicament. It was beginning to irritate him but he tried to hold his tongue. He was only irritated because he was worried about his partner and he knew they were too.

“We’re going to have to have another serious talk about you sacrificing yourself for everyone Angus, but I need you awake for it to be effective.” He tried again.

The mission hadn’t been anything too strenuous, go in and get intel and leave again. But as quite often happened, they got bad info, and walked right into a meeting of goons. Both sides stared at each other in stunned silence before all hell broke loose. It wouldn’t have been quite so bad if their idea of meeting grounds wasn’t a deep dark cave. The voices and gun shots had echoed and caused the ceiling to rumble. Jack had watched as a piece headed straight for Riley and shoved her out of the way. He fully expected to be impaled by it but instead he felt a force shove him and then the cry of his best friend.

“Mac!” He had yelled even as he fell forward and rolled. Jack had pushed himself up on his feet and charged towards the younger agent. The walls had caved in around them and the bad guys were either dead or on the other side. He could have cared less. 

Skidding to a halt next to the blond was when he first noticed he was way too still. He had ripped his t shirt and pressed it against the wound on his head all the while lecturing him for pushing him out of the way of the cave in.

“I’ve lived a long time! You are just starting, why would you do that?” He was trying to goad the kid into an argument, hoping he’d somehow hear what he was saying and wake up immediately. But he remained silent and still and Jack’s emotions grew overwhelming.

“What if we moved this boulder here?” Bozer asked behind him.

“I told you we can’t move that one or that one will fall!” Was the exasperate response Riley gave.

“Give it a rest! You guys are going in circles!” Jack finally snapped glaring over his shoulder at them. They gave him twin startled glances and if he hadn’t been so worried about Mac he would have felt guilty. They fell silent and he couldn’t help but think of every deity he could think of for small mercies.

Tugging his backpack that was lying nearby close, he began to dig through it urgently, keeping one eye on his partner as he did. Finally his hand hit a bottle of water and he pulled it out.

“Sorry buddy.” He said grimly as he opened it and dumped it on the kids face.

The effect was instintaneous, Mac shot up with a gasp. Jack caught his shoulders studying him. Hazy blue eyes met his, knitted with confusion.

“J’ck?” He seemed confused but he watched as the gears turned and the moment his memories came back, the panicked look on his face. “You ok?”

His eyes darted across Jack’s body looking for injury even as he swayed dizzily from his own. Jack bit his tongue and maneuvered the kid so he was leaned back against his chest. His arms wrapped around him to steady him. He felt him struggling to turn and look at him.

“Hold still.” Jack said gruffly and something with his tone must have caught his attention because he froze. The delta sighed and gently rubbed his chest. “I didn’t mean to snap kiddo but you shouldn’t have done that.”

“Ask how you were?” Jack gave him a break when he heard honest confusion in his voice.

“No, pushing me out of the way of the cave in. It’s my job to protect you.” He said sternly.

“And it’s my job to protect you!” The kid protested.

“Not at risk to your own life!” The older man said heatedly.

“Oh so you can risk yours for mine but I can’t for you?” The blond twisted biting his lip in pain but kept at it until angry blue eyes bore into his own.

“Yes!” Jack hissed and watched as the kids face mottled red and he shook angrily.

“Well too bad! I love you, you stubborn old man! I won’t watch you die if I can do something to stop it!” His breathing came in harsh pants and he swayed. Jack should have dropped it but he couldn’t.

“You will not! I can’t live without you and I won’t!”

“Well I can’t without you!” They glared at each other fiercely.

“Now who’s going in circles.” Bozer mumbled from somewhere over to their left.

Jack shot him a sharp look while Mac lost some of his anger, only looking puzzled.

“Not helping Bozer!” He snapped.

“You’re both saying the same thing! We get it, if you die you do it together because you’ll both be miserable otherwise!” Riley snapped. “Now could we stop talking about that and figure a way out? Mac probably could use a doctor.” Jack opened his mouth to respond but paused as he pondered her words. The kid had said that didn’t he? He couldn’t help the grin and chuckle before squeezing him gently in a hug.

“You are so bipolar.” The lab tech muttered.

“SH!” Mac insisted and they all quieted down looking at him. His eyes ran over the blockage as he mumbled under his breath. Jack could hear him mumbling numbers and knew despite the probably concussion, that he was finding them a way out. “Bozer the rock to the Bottom left, shift it right. Riley you shift that rock in the middle to the left.” 

Obediently they did as he said, he had them move random stones but they didn’t complain. After a while a hole appeared, large enough for them to slip through.

“Jack?” Mac whispered quietly.

“Yea kid?” He said just as softly.

“Don’t ask me not to protect you, because I can’t do that.” He said one hand clenching Jack’s left tightly.

“Alright as long as you promise the same.” He didn’t like it but he understood.

“Deal.” He paused. “I’m going to pass out now.” His words slurred and despite his partners protest, he went boneless in his arms.

The older man carefully maneuvered them and stood, lifting the other man and cradling him gently in his arms. He moved forward and studied their escape.

“Good work buddy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	21. Winter is Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac just wanted a cup of coffee, then he just wanted the day to end.

Mac knew it wasn’t going to be a good day from the minute he woke up. He hadn’t slept well the night before so wrestling himself out of bed took Herculean effort. Grumbling he wrapped his blanket around himself and stumbled out of his room down to the kitchen in search of coffee. What he found was his roommate kneeling on the floor looking up at him guiltily clearing a pile of glass. Slowly Mac looked up at the counter above him and noticed the coffee maker sans the pot and looked back down on the ground where he saw coffee spreading slowly. He took a deep breath and released it before turning on his heel and left the room. He was aware his mood was sour and he didn’t want to take it out on Bozer.

“Mac!” The man called but he ignored him disappearing back into his room and slamming the door shut.

Luckily he’d had the foresight to shower the night before so he simply pulled on his clothes and Jacket. Tying his shoe laces he grabbed his keys, and wallet before leaving the room. Avoiding the kitchen where he heard his friend still bustling around, he slipped out the front door and closed it. Probably harder than he should have but he really wanted coffee and now he had to buy it. 

Mac thought his day had improved when he stopped at his favorite cafe and got a coffee. He didn’t want to be late so he set it in the cupholder and drove to work. Waving at the guard at the gate he pulled in and parked in his normal spot. As normal he was one of the first in, which was fine by him. It would give him time to imbibe much needed caffeine and maybe work on a project. With that plan in mind he got out of his Jeep and picked up his coffee. Closing the door he locked it and turned. He ran smack into Jack who had snuck up on him and his cup broke open spilling his very hot coffee all over his front. He yelped and cursed loudly ripping his jacket off and holding it out watching miserably as his drink dripped off of it.

“Sorry-“ His partner began but stopped immediately at the glare the blond threw at him.

“Don’t, just don’t!” He snapped scooping up the remains of his cup and stalking off, leaving his startled partner in his wake.

He stormed through the halls, holding his jacket out ahead of him. He must have looked like he was on the war path because people gave him wide birth and didn’t greet him as they normally would. He was glad to at least be in the building now that his jacket was soaked, it had been chilly outside. Going down to the gym he went to his locker. Angrily he hung up his jacket and ripped his shirt off. His chest was dark red and stung from the burn he’d sustained but he didn’t bother to study it closely just pulling his extra shirt on and ignoring the way it rubbed against his raw skin painfully.

Slamming the door shut it echoed throughout the room silencing the few people in there. He shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way out headed for the elevators and taking it down to the level with his private lab. He hadn’t used it much since Bozer had joined the Phoenix, choosing to spend time in his lab instead, but today he needed to be alone. Desperately. He passed a couple break rooms and could smell the rich scent of coffee, Matty made sure they were stocked with the good stuff. But he had given up on his caffeine fix for the day.

Mac entered his lab and immediately went to one of his ongoing projects, it didn’t take him long to remember where he left off and he was off and working. Blessedly his brain quieted about anything other then his work. He remained focused until the door to his lab swished open and a voice startled him. He dropped the hammer he was holding and it landed on his foot. He bent over to grab it and hissed when the pain on his chest and stomach came back to him. He took shallow breaths to get through the pain and turned sharply to look over at the door. Riley stood mid sentence and looked at him.

“What?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I uh was wondering if you wanted to get lunch.” She asked hesitantly.

“No! I don’t want lunch! I want this day to end so I can go home and go to bed and pretend none of this happened.” He exploded without thought. Turning he threw the hammer across the room satisfied when it banged off against the wall. He heard the door open and close and knew Riley had left, tomorrow he would care and would apologize. Today he was just glad to be alone.

Now that Mac had been interrupted, he couldn’t get his mind to focus again. The pain his chest and foot gave off thumped uncomfortably. Finally he gave up and put his stuff away, he might as well go home and be miserable there. Going back to his locker he discovered to his frustration that his jacket was still unbearably wet. Carrying it he went back through the building and out to his vehicle. A gust of cool wind tugged at his shirt and he shivered absently. Tossing his coat on the passenger side floor of his Jeep he slammed the door shut and started it.

He drove home probably a little faster than he should but he was cold, sore and ready for the day to be over. He planned to go in and straight to bed to sleep the rest of the day away. Hopefully the next day would be better. Pulling into his driveway he growled when he saw the cars scattered around. He hoped his terrible mood had kept them away for the evening. The blond knew the next day he would feel bad for his attitude but for today he just wanted to be left alone.

Parking he got out and grabbed his jacket glowering at it as he headed towards the house. Storming up the steps he pushed the door open and slammed it shut before stalking to the left down the hall towards his room. Voices had been drifting from the other end of the house and had cut short. He didn’t really care. Tossing his jacket on the floor of his room in disgust he went to his closet and pulled out a clean t shirt, sweatpants and a sweatshirt. It was an old one of Jack’s he’d commandeered. He wore it when he was feeling out of sorts and today definitely qualified.

Leaving his bedroom he went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. While he let the water heat up he peeled his shirt off carefully. He hissed as his chest pulled and tossed the shirt to the side. Looking in the mirror he grimaced when he saw the red burned patches, there were blisters that had formed and some of them had broken open weeping. He gently pressed his hand against a spot and couldn’t help but yelp, he hadn’t meant to brush it that hard.

“Mac, are you alright?” Jacks voice said urgently hammering on the door.

“Fine.” He replied through gritted teeth. Suddenly he wondered if the shower was such a good idea. He turned and opened the curtain to shut the shower off, a splash of hot water hit his chest and he yelled again.

The door flung open then and he jumped looking over at Jack who stared at him, the shower and his chest.

“Jesus kid!” He took him firmly by the arm and plopped him down on the toilet seat despite his protests. He reached in and turned off the shower before digging under the sink until he found the first aid kit.

Mac tried to stand up but a sharp look from his partner and he sat again, he couldn’t even help the pout on his face. His friend silently cleaned up his burns putting medicine on them. The blond sat mulishly on the seat. When he finished he sat up on his knees and tapped his hand to get his attention.

“So want to tell me what’s going on with you?” He asked and Mac felt himself crumble a little. The man was being kind and gentle even though he had been a jerk all day. Sighing he pressed a hand to his forehead and rubbed. A hand gently pulled his away.

“Winter is here.” He said glumly. To his credit Jack didn’t laugh but he did look politely puzzled.

“I’m not sure I get your meaning?” He finally said.

“It’s the first day of winter weather. I didn’t sleep well last night, I uh I’m sensitive to weather changes and I had a headache all night.” He mumbled. Then he launched into a story of he day and the fact he was foiled in getting his coffee all day. His friends face had fallen a little and he didn’t look amused at all anymore.

“S.A.D.?” He asked gently and Mac nodded relieved he understood. The man ruffled his hair and stood up.

“Why don’t you get dressed, you probably don’t want coffee now but I can get you a hot chocolate?” He offered.

“Ok.” Mac sighed.

“Ok.” He said.

Later Mac was nestled on the couch in his sweatshirt and blanket with a hot cup in his hands and his friends around him watching a movie. The day hadn’t turned out so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	22. White Carpet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matty really should have known better.

MacGyver chuckled as he listened intently to the story the Director of the CIA was telling. While generally the man seemed cold and aloof, off the clock he was personable and had lots of interesting adventures to tell about his days as an agent. Matty had approached the team a few weeks ago asking them to come to the get together she was hosting. With some whining from Jack they had all agreed to be present. He and the director were making the rounds to greet and talk with everyone from several different government offices. A way to smooth things and make friends for future missions. Riley and Bozer had made an attempt but became rather bored quickly so had found a couple agents with similar interests and sequestered themselves in the corner to talk. This sort of thing wasn’t Mac’s favorite ways to spend a Saturday evening but Matty was a friend, their boss and had done a lot for him. So he resisted the urge to join his friends or hide out with a pile of paper clips.

Director Walsh finished his story and excused himself from Mac as he spotted a friend showing up. The blond nodded graciously and moved off to find someone else to speak too. He caught his bosses eye from across the room and she smiled at him mouthing a thank you. He grinned and nodded turning to scan around to look for someone who may need company. As he turned in place he ran directly into something solid. Hands came up and grasped his arms to steady him as he blinked and focused.

“Jack?” Mac said confused, he had definitely thought the man had slipped off and left a couple hours ago.

The ex delta stood in front of him with a sheepish smile. He shifted nervously and if Mac didn’t know better he’d say he looked like a kid who got caught in the cookie jar. Quirking his eyebrows he glanced around to make sure Matty wasn’t looking. Seeing her with her back turned deep in a heated discussion, he grabbed the sleeve of his partner’s coat and dragged him around the corner and out of sight. There were less people in this room and when he was sure no one was eavesdropping he focused on his friend again.

“What’s up?” He asked growing a little concerned when Jack cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I need your help Mac.” He said simply.

“What? What happened?” He began to look him over, pulling at his shirt to look for an injury. Seeing a splash of red on his white shirt under his dinner jacket he panicked further and was prepared to rip the shirt from the man’s chest, not worrying about ruining it, until his calloused hands came up and stopped him again.

“Easy kid, that’s just wine. I’m not hurt but I might be if you can’t help me figure out how to fix it.” He released him and backed up motioning for the blond to follow him.

Mac debated for a split second about going back to the party and leaving Jack to his fate with Matty the hun. But he was a little bored and mildly intrigued by what Jack could have possibly done at a house party. Following at his friends heels they slipped to the back of the house, the part of the house that Matty had told them was strictly off limits. The younger agent sighed and gave his friend a half hearted glare, receiving a pacifying grin in return.

“You just couldn’t help yourself could you?” He grumbled.

“I was bored and she made it seem so exciting.” Jack argued.

“Are you 3?” Mac shot back earning a wounded look in return.

“Harsh bro, harsh.” He led him down to the last room which MacGyver remembered had been the library. Matty had promised he could take a look at the books later when the guests had gone. He began to feel nervous about what Jack could have accomplished in there that would be so concerning. He had terrifying visions of her first addition books being in smoldering ashes.

Jack opened the door and stood back to let him look. He immediately saw the problem and let out a gusty sigh. Matty had a beautiful home, she had gone to school for a while for interior decorating and she had a talent that showed throughout her space, even her office at work. One thing that looked rather nice but Mac found rather risky, was the fact that all of her carpets were snow white. The large red stain in the middle of the library was exactly why the young agent would never have white carpet. Not that he much cared for carpet anyway, then he couldn’t use the space to fiddle with his projects.

“Jaaack.” He let out a sigh and could hear the faint whine. He wouldn’t leave the man to get in trouble if he could help it, though he probably deserved it but it was going to be a huge pain to get the deep red stain up. Even then he wasn’t sure he could do it without it being noticeable.

“It was an accident! But I don’t know how to fix it.” Once more he looked like a toddler shuffling next to him.

“I’ll see what I can do, but you’re going to have to take over out there for me and make sure Matty stays occupied.” Really the man could just go out and keep an eye on their director but Mac decided he deserved some sort of punishment, so he would make him help with the smoozing.

“Fine.” The man grumbled only clamming up when his partner shot him a look. “I mean no problem Mac, call me daddy cool!”

“I’d rather not!” He called after the man before turning to study the stain again. Letting out a gusty sigh, he slipped out of the room in search of items he could use. 

Wandering around the edges of the party, to keep out of sight, he went into the kitchen. Glancing around he started by grabbing the Dawn dish soap and digging through the cabinets, pleased when he found a bottle of white vinegar. Going back out and down the hall he went into the bathroom and opened the cupboard. White towels. Of course everything was white, he rolled his eyes. Nothing was ever easy. He decided he’d have to deal with the towel later and pulled one out. A spray bottle sitting at the top of the shelf caught his eye and he snagged it. Turning to the sink he set things down and opened the bottle. Measuring in some soap and vinegar, he turned the faucet on and filled it up. Twisting the cover on he held it over the bathtub and shook enough to get it mixed. Taking all of his supplies with him, more so it was out of sight than any need for it anymore, he moved back down the hall towards the library. Hearing footsteps he quickened his pace and hurriedly entered the room before gently shutting the door and holding his breath to listen.

Whoever it was didn’t go any further than where the bathroom was, he judged and it was confirmed when he heard the door shut. Sighing in relief he moved over to the stain and dropped down on his knees next to it. Setting everything down but the spray bottle, he used it to coat every inch of the red and then sat back to give it time to soak in. He itched to get up an study the books but now wasn’t the time. When he judged enough time had passed, he used the towel and began to blot at the mark. His chest loosened a little when it came up easily, though there was still a hint of pink. He hoped another round with his makeshift cleaner would take it out. Focused on the task he didn’t hear anyone coming until the handle of the door turned. Silently he cursed Jack watching wide eyed as the door opened.

“Riley.” He whispered relieved and turned back to his task.

“Woah what happened?” Bozer had apparently tagged along. “I’ve never known you to be so careless, especially around books.”

“I wasn’t, Jack however is another story.” He said tightly as he slowly worked his way through to stain. He heard a snort from the hacker and glanced up at her with a half smile.

“I wonder what he would do if he didn’t have you willing to save his butt all the time.” She smirked and he simply shrugged as he worked. Jack had done a lot for him, and meant a lot to him. So he didn’t mind doing what he could to protect the man, even from himself. He knew Riley understood on some level but it didn’t stop her from teasing them on occasion.

They all fell silent as he got the worst of the stain up. Picking up the bottle he sprayed it down again and sat back on his heels chewing his lip as he really hoped this took care of the problem. The towel in his hand was mostly pink now, though he’d left a spot clear to help pick up the rest on the carpet. The moment of truth came and he pressed down a couple of times before pulling away and looking. He relaxed a little when he saw nothing but white. A hand clapped his shoulder and he looked up at Bozer who gave him a thumbs up. Taking care of the rest of it he stood up and led the way out of the room. Riley offered to take the dish soap and vinegar back while Bozer took the spray bottle to dump and clean before putting it away. That left Mac with the towel.

Sneaking deeper into the house he went to the window in the hall and slid it open. Climbing out he tiptoed his way through the bushes towards his Jeep, very glad that he’d parked near the plant life rather than on the street. Quickly opening the door, he tossed the item on the floor and shut it before sneaking back to the house and into the window. As he went down the hall he could hear Jack’s voice, raised.

“Matty, he’s been doing your dirty work all night, let him have a moment in peace!” Crap. He quickened his pace, eyes on the bathroom door. He knew that Matty wouldn’t be stalled for long.

Mac managed to get his hand on the handle and the door open before the director came bustling around the corner with Jack behind her. With a passive face he closed the bathroom door and looked down at Matty expectantly. Jack, who had looked on the verge of panic, stared bug eyed at him before schooling his face to a mild expression.

“You could have told me he was using the restroom Jack.” Matty said annoyed, she turned with a softer expression to him. “Director Welsh was looking to say goodbye before he left, you made a good impression Mac.” She said with pride. He smiled.

“Of course, lead the way.” She turned and he followed after her.

‘You owe me!’ He mouthed to Jack who took the good news for what it was and clapped him on the back.

The evening wrapped up soon after that. Matty and Mac stood at the door, shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries until the last guest had left and his boss had closed the door. She sighed and leaned against the door for just a moment before straightening and looking up at him with a rare sincere smile.

“I appreciate your help tonight Blondie, especially since the rest of the team fell through.” She said wryly.

“Happy to help Matty.” He said with a dimpled grin.

“Would you like to take a look in the library now?” She offered motioning down the hall. His grin widened and he opened his mouth to agree when Jack bustled in with Bozer and Riley at his heels.

“No can do boss lady, he’s my ride and there is a meat lovers pizza with my name on it.” The older man said grabbing Mac’s arm and tugging towards the door. He frowned starting to protest but his partner shot him a look that had him closing his mouth and huffing as he gave their boss an apologetic look.

“Didn’t you eat half of the first round of horderves Dalton? And a good portion of the second?” She said sarcastically.

“Those are snacks if that, I need real food!” He frog marched his partner outside while he tried to lean back and bid the director goodbye.

“Come over tomorrow Mac, it’ll be easier without the riff raff around.” She called after him.

“Hey!” Jack protested while the blond confirmed plans with her.

Mac climbed in the Jeep while his team piled in. Jack always got passenger and the other two were content to sit in the back. They talked pleasantly, rehashing the evening as they made it back to the younger agents house where they had left from earlier in the evening. As they pulled in, Mac felt his pocket vibrate. Looking over he noticed Jack pulling his phone out too. Curiously he took it out and looked.

‘Jack you are damn lucky Baby Einstein saved my carpet. You better hope he can save my towel or you owe me $100 for a new set.’

Mac doubled over wheezing with laughter while Jack squaked about expensive ass towels. Boxer and Riley glanced at each other before slowly slipping out of the Jeep and running for the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	23. Haircut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Mac has to rescue Jack, even from himself.

“Looking a little shaggy there Jack.” Bozer said as he walked past the man who was standing in the lab. The ex delta looked over at him and wrinkled his nose but didn’t make a comment. He did rub his hand through his hair, the kid was right, his hair was getting long.” If you’re looking for Mac, he’s up in the War Room with Matty.” He added clearly curious as to why he was down there alone.

“Thanks buddy.” Jack replied and took off out the doors and to the right towards the elevators. Jabbing his finger against the button, he waited impatiently for it to show up. He really needed to talk with his partner but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to text the man and ask him to meet up. He wasn’t one to ask for help, even just to talk and part of him was railing against the fact that he just needed to speak with his friend. He knew Mac wouldn’t mind, would probably be happy he trusted him enough but it didn’t seem to matter in Jack’s mind. He knew if the situations were reversed he would gently scold Mac for not texting him immediately but that didn’t matter either.

As he was considering just taking the stairs, there was a beep and the door slid open. He stepped forward but had to jerk to a stop, nearly running into Riley. She gave him a startled look before glancing up and smirking a little.

“Looks like you need a haircut.” She said with humor in her voice.

“Yea yea.” He grumbled stepping around her and inside the elevator pushing the button to the third floor. The doors started to slide closed but a hand reached out to stop it. He bit his tongue against snapping when the hacker peeked in at him.

“Are you alright Jack?” She asked with some concern.

“I’m fine, just need to find Mac.” He replied looking pointedly at her hand.

“Ok.” She said and stepped back watching him as the doors closed.

Jack sighed and slumped back against the elevator wall. He would have to apologize later but now all he could focus on was holding himself together. When the elevator finally stopped, he couldn’t figure out when it had gotten so slow, he stepped out and strode briskly down the hall towards the war room. As he rounded the corner he felt his stomach drop when the only person that he could see was Matty. He debated slipping off and looking elsewhere but he knew the Director would likely know where he went, so stealing himself he entered the room. The dark haired woman glanced up at him and looked away before looking back immediately.

“A change in style Dalton?” She asked dryly and it took a lot of effort for him not to snap, and cleared his throat instead.

“Bozer said Mac was up here, do you know where he went?” He asked steadily. She seemed to pick up on his mood and dropped her original comment.

“He’s running an errand for me. He should be back within half an hour.” She said, and he dropped his head swearing under his breath. “Are you alright Jack?” She asked a rare softness to her tone.

“Fine, just needed to talk to him.” He responded tightly turning on his heel and leaving the room without further comment.

The ex delta wandered through the halls in a daze. He fully intended to go out to the parking garage to wait for his partner but instead he found himself down in the gym. Glancing around he realized it was empty, with a shrug he turned into the locker rooms. Several minutes later he was changed and out at a punching bag. He started slow as he had been taught but the steady thump of his fists became monotonous and his mind trailed away. He felt despair bubble into anger and the bag swung back and forth harder and harder. With a growl he swung back to let out another hard hit and a hand wrapped around his arm stalling him. He swung around with a snarl but stopped when he saw who it was.

MacGyver stood behind him, still holding his arm gently and studying him with a concerned look. Jack watched his eyes run up and down him, pausing at his hair. He was prepared to snap but his friend said nothing, instead he tugged his arm gently. The older agent allowed himself to be led out of the gym and into the locker room. Silently his partner passed him his clothes and leaned back against the lockers to give him time to change. He did so quickly and soon his friend was leading him again. They left out into the hall, down the hall to the elevator and up to the ground floor. Puzzled he opened his mouth to question what they were doing but when Mac turned he saw the door to the parking garage and quieted again.

Without comment Mac led them over to Jack’s car and he held out his hand. The ex delta obediently handed over his keys and climbed into the passenger side. The only person in the entire world allowed to drive it besides him was his partner, though it didn’t happen often. Mac was happy to let him drive because he preferred it and the younger agent could fiddle with his paper clips or read. Jack tended to get carsick if he did any activities or irritated his car mates. It was just easier all the way around. But for now he was happy to let his partner drive and stare out the window.

In no time at all the blond was parking in his driveway and switching off the car. He remained silent while leading the way into the house and kitchen. Jack watched as he pulled out a stool and looked over at him patting the seat. Obediently he sat on it and watched as the kid disappeared down the hall towards the bedrooms and bathroom. He could hear him rummaging around before footsteps returned. In his hands was a medium sized black case which he set on the counter and clicked open. The older man craned his neck, watching as Mac pulled out some hair clippers. He saw blue eyes land on his hair, calculating before grabbing a guard and snapping it into place. Pulling a blue towel off his shoulder he shook it out and wrapped it around Jack’s shoulders. Absently he grabbed it and held it in place.

The younger agent plugged the device in and flicked it on. A low steady hum filled the air and Jack held still as he approached and began to run it over his head. The kid was quick and thorough and in no time at all he was shooing Jack off to shower.

“You know where your clothes are.” It was the first words spoken between them since Mac had found him. Going into the kids bedroom he opened the bottom right drawer and grabbed a clean set of clothes. The two of them spent so much time at each other’s houses that they had left various items and didn’t feel bothered to bring them back. 

Jack stood under a steady stream of hot water for a long time, he felt his muscles loosen and he finally began to relax. Quickly washing himself up he turned it off and stepped out. Wiping steam from the mirror he took a good look at the cut and couldn’t help a pleased grin. Mac had carefully shaved his head to his normal hair do perfectly and without any direction. Swallowing a lump in his throat he quickly dressed and made his way back out into the main area. His friend greeted him in the doorway of the kitchen silently offering a cold beer and a plate with two large slices of his favorite pizza, clearly it had just been delivered. Overcome the older man set the items aside and scooped his friend into his arms, hugging him tight.

Mac stiffened in surprise before quickly relaxing. He felt arms loop around him and hold him just as tight. The dark haired man swallowed to get his emotions under control, and the kid just held him and let him take the time he needed. A few tears trickled down his cheeks and he let them, knowing he was safe from criticism here. It wasn’t the first time he had cried on his partner and it wouldn’t be the last. When he finally felt steady enough he pulled back and looked at his friend. Blue eyes were soft with understanding and question. He nodded in answer, he was alright now. A small grin was the response and they both picked up their pizza and beers before heading out to the back patio. A fire crackled merrily already and Jack had the urge to hug his friend again but refrained.

They sat and he took a sip of beer before turning his attention to the pizza. After one bite he found he was ravenous and quickly polished off both slices. As he was considering getting more, an open pizza box appeared in front of him and gave an honest grin to his best friend before taking out another couple of slices. He finished those just as quickly and sat back nursing his beer and feeling much better. Lazily he looked across the fire at Mac, who had sat again and was slowly munching on his first serving of pizza. The blond noticed his attention and paused. He seemed to consider something for a moment before finally speaking.

“I’m sorry about your friend.” It wasn’t what Jack had been expecting but really he should have. The kid had a heart of gold and he always seemed to know what was going on with any of them at any given time.

“How’d you know?” He asked voice gruff from emotion.

“You told me about your buddy Diggle from your Delta days. Then you mentioned the name of your barber in passing. I just put two and two together.” He hesitated. “I saw the obituary earlier when I was running Matty’s errand.” He fell silent after that.

“You know, he was the one that made this haircut for me. I was sick of the buzzed army look but I’ve never been fond of long hair. This just seemed to fit but no one was ever able to do it like him.” He paused and smiled. “Until now that is. Thank you Mac.”

The blond smiled and dipped his head. “Anytime Jack, anytime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	24. The Light Changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn’t want to wake up. Doesn’t want to think about what he might have done.

Mac let out a jaw cracking yawn as he stopped his Jeep at a red light. He and the team had just returned from a long difficult mission in the heart of Africa. He had gotten fairly beat up and bruised, though he had managed to downplay it so he could leave from the airport and go straight home, rather than have to take time to go to Phoenix Medical. He winced when he shifted and his shoulder pulled. He was fairly certain it had at least partially popped out of socket at one point and now it hurt like a bitch. He couldn’t wait for a long hot shower, Tylenol and his bed. He often had difficulties sleeping but he knew tonight wouldn’t be one of the nights.

The light changed and he pressed his foot on the gas and his Jeep started forward. A flash of light caught his attention and he looked to the side half a second before a car impacted the passenger side of his Jeep. It skidded and began to roll, his last thought before passing out was how glad he was that he had remembered to buckle up. He swam in and out of consciousness several times, hearing voices and machinery around him. Why was someone working in his room? He figured it was Jack playing a trick on him and tried to say the man’s name. He wasn’t sure he succeeded and he felt so out of it that he let himself drift off again. Distantly he heard yelling and hoped whoever it was would forgive him, he just didn’t have the energy to wake up and focus.

Mac wiped sweat from his face as he studied the bomb in front of him. He began to feel the flutterings of panic deep in his stomach but he pushed the feeling away. He couldn’t let emotions cloud him or he definitely wouldn’t be able to defuse it, as it was now he wasn’t sure he could anyway. Biting his lip he studied the wires, they were weird and almost looked like candy canes. He shook his head and looked at them again but it remained the same. Hesitantly he reached his Swiss Army knife out to cut one of the wires. Gritting his teeth he cut one and waited, but nothing at all seemed to happen.

“The light changed.” The voice startled him and he looked up to find Jack standing over him.

“What do you mean?” He asked with a frown glancing over the bomb with a critical eye. He didn’t see any lights.

“The light changed, it wasn’t your fault.” His friend repeated.

“Ok why would I blame myself for a light changing?” He sat back on his heels no longer concerned about the bomb. He’d had a lot of strange conversations with his partner but already this one was starting to top the charts. He couldn’t even follow the man’s subject never mind his train of thought. Maybe he needed more sleep, he did feel a little slow and muzzy.

“You blame yourself for everything kid, but don’t this time. The light changed, you were in the green.” Jack said kneeling down next to him and putting a hand on his shoulder.

“What light, Jack?” Mac was beginning to feel irritated and not a little bit nervous. His friend was rarely cryptic, preferring to be open and honest. He looked up when his friend didn’t answer and realized he was gone. Turning around he didn’t see the bomb anymore. In fact he was in his living room next to his motorcycle. “I really need sleep.” He mumbled.

The blond had every intention of going to bed but the rest of him seemed to have a mind of its own because instead he found himself kneeling down next to the bike and fiddling with the parts. Well this was ok, he could relax and get his mind to shut down while he worked on this and then he could go to bed. Picking up a wrench he got to work, humming softly as he did.

“The light changed Mac, you have to let it go.” Bozer said and he jumped and whirled around.

“Dude, I didn’t even hear you walk up.” Mac said impressed. “Spy school has taught you well.” He said with a grin that fell when he realized Bozer was staring rather blankly at him. “What’s up?” He asked stepping towards his friend.

“If wasn’t your fault, the light changed.” He repeated.

“Ok seriously what is this light you and Jack keep talking about?” He asked in frustration.

“They’re right you know.” Riley’s voice joined in and he looked over to see her coming in from the back porch.

“Not you too.” He groaned. “What. Light.”

“You were tired but you never would have driven if you weren’t capable kid. We know that.” It was Jack who joined in.

For some reason his heart started to pound and his hands felt clammy. He tried to back away form them feeling anxious and out of sorts but he never seemed to put much distance between them. He squinted as a bright light hit his eyes but it didn’t seem to come from anywhere or be attached to anything.

“The light changed Mac, you waited a few seconds and you went. It was his fault not yours.” Jack continued and suddenly he thought he could see something behind the light.

“Stop ok. I don’t want to hear anymore.” His voice cracked as he spoke, he didn’t want to know more. He wanted to go back to his bike.

“I need you kid, we all do. Come back. The light changed and it wasn’t your fault.” The older agent was insistent as he crowded into the blinds space. Looking over he saw the white blinding light again but this time it was almost like a car was attached to it.

“I never…” he paused as his mind tried to catch up. He’d been driving home from a mission. Then he’d been hit in the side. “I never saw them coming.” He sobbed, what if they had died. What if he had killed someone. Hands gripped his face and he turned to look into brown eyes.

“It wasn’t your fault. Come back.” His voice was desperate now but seemed distant some how. Mac squinted as Jacks face went fuzzy. He rubbed his eyes and squinted again.

“Mac please! Wake up!” His friend begged and it echoed.

The blond found himself sitting in his Jeep. He yawned a jaw cracking yawn and looked up. The light changed, he released the break and pressed on the gas. The green light reflected off his windshield right before a bright light caught his attention. He turned his head right, seconds before his Jeep was struck. The metal crumpled and scraped together as he was flung. But he didn’t notice the screeching of metal, the shatter of glass or the drop in his stomach as he looked up. The light was green, the light had changed.

“You figured it out.” Mac jumped and whirled at the sound of the familiar voice. Suddenly he was in a white room. Before him stood his grandfather, strong and proud as he remembered him. “You figured it out Angus, now it’s time to go back.” The man said kindly.

“But-“ did he really though? His mom had died long ago and his dad had left him, making it clear after nearly twenty years that it had been his fault he’d been abandoned. Maybe he should just stay with his grandfather who had at least tried to do his best.

“It isn’t your time yet kiddo.” As always the older man seemed to know exactly what he was thinking. “Could you really leave Bozer or Riley like that? Matty?” He paused and Mac found himself wavering a little bit as he thought of his friends.” And how about Jack?”

Mac’s ears seemed to focus in on a voice then that whispered in the background.

“You and me buddy.”

“I wouldn’t want to die with anyone else.”

“I’m your bodyguard!”

Mac shook his head with a sob and looked at his grandfather but truly feeling torn for the first time. He could stay here and spend an eternity learning from his grandpa. They could camp and explore like they used too. But thoughts of fishing with Jack, saving the day and beers and games near the fire.

“Mac, please kid! I need you, wake up!” Jack’s voice leaked with desperation as he begged.

The blond gave his grandfather one last look. The man smiled at him and leaned forward to scoop him up on a tight hug. He hugged him back just as tightly. He sniffed and when they finally pulled back he tried to memorize the man’s features.

“You’ll see me again kiddo, and in the meantime I’ll be watching over you.” The older man assured him clapping him on the shoulder one last time before stepping back. He faded into darkness.

Beeep Beeep Beeep

Blue eyes flickered open and drifted around trying to take in the surroundings. White walls and the smell of antiseptic. Hospital. Thinking hard he found he remembered a flash of light, a crash and his grandfather. It had been a good dream, he thought with a smile. Then he remembered the conversation and forced his eyes back open. Glancing around he looked for Jack, eyes landing on the man who was slumped over his bed. Wincing at his sore muscles he reached out and shook the man.

The ex delta shot up and looked around wildly. He seemed to freeze and hesitate before allowing his eyes to fall on his partner. Mac watched as the man registered shock and relief before a huge grin crossed his face.

“Mac! You’re awake!” He leaned down and scooped him up into an awkward hug. He bit his tongue back against the flash of pain and hugged him back.

“Did anyone get hurt?” He asked though it came out more like a croak. True to form, Jack understood exactly what he was asking and frowned in fond exasperation as he picked up a glass with a straw and held it to his friends lips so he could drink. The blond sucked greedily as he finally spoke.

“Besides you, you mean?” Jack chided gently. “No, the man who hit you was drunk and walked away with only a scratch. You flatlined twice in the ambulance and once in OR.” He tried to look nonchalant but his voice belaid his worry. 

“Oh good.” The blond said without thought as he relaxed back in the bed.

“Good?!” He glanced up startled at the man’s yell wincing as his voice went up an octave at the end. “You nearly died! Three times!”

“I just meant I’m glad I didn’t hurt anybody!” Mac protested.

“I know what you meant kid! But it was the drunk drivers fault and if he had been hurt and you hadn’t, it still would have been his fault!” The ex delta leaned forward and stabbed a finger to punctuate his words.

“I’m sorry.” Mac said faintly biting his lip. Jack growled and took a deep breath.

“You apologize too much kid. You didn’t do anything wrong!” Jack said.

“I’m sorry!” Mac said before realizing what he said and groaning. Jack looked down at him incredulously before throwing his head back and laughing.

“You really just can’t help yourself can you?” He finally managed to ask.

“I think it’s a millennial thing?” Mac replied with a shrug.

His friend chuckled again ruffling his hair as he ducked his head and pretended to scowl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	25. Red Plaid Shirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Mac sick fic

Mac startled awake as a deep cough ripped from his lungs. He sat up and hunched over trying to gain control but huddled helplessly until the tickle in his throat lessened and the tightening in his lungs loosened enough for him to take gasping breaths. He felt achy all over, including his eyes and his head hurt. Sniffling he reached over blinking blearily until he found a tissue and blew his nose. A great honking noise came but other than the feeling of the thick liquid moving around, nothing came out. Coughing again he forced himself to his feet and stumbled from his room to the bathroom. 

The house was silent, but then he expected it to be. After the last mission he supposed he should probably get used to it being empty. He had failed his team, hadn’t managed to be quick enough. Riley had gotten shot and Jack had rounded on him chewing him out. The blond had remained silent staring at his shoes as the older man had verbally torn him to pieces. He didn’t have room to argue, it had been his fault. Despite being sick, he still should have been at the top of his game.

“Are you even listening?” Jack had screamed grabbing the front of his shirt and jerking him forward. He hadn’t been able to help the flinch that shuddered through him as he looked up at his friend wide eyed. “I’m starting to see why everyone leaves you behind.” The man had said in disgust before releasing him with a push. Mac had stumbled and weakened from no sleep and being ill, he had fell hard to the floor. The rest of the team left without a backward glance. Mac had finally dragged himself up and trailed behind. He found his own way to the hospital and remained out of sight, only staying long enough to find out that Riley was alright.

A few days had passed, they’d all been given time off and he knew that Riley was home now. The blond had heard Bozer come in a couple of times but he never came to see him and he always left quickly. There had always been the fear that Jack and Bozer would see what his father saw and leave. He had just hoped he’d have more time.

Mac leaned over the toilet as his stomach rolled and he heaved. Bile splattered into the water and the noise had him nauseous and heaving again. He groaned, his already sore body screaming from the exertion. Finally his stomach settled and he collapsed against the cool tile. He sighed in relief though it didn’t last long. Idly he realized his fever must be fairly high to make the floor so warm already. Dragging himself up he flushed and turned on the shower. Tugging his clothes off he moved in and felt as the hot water rained down on his back. It felt good but his muscles remained tight and sore. The blond began to think he overdid it and turned the water off. His legs barely held him up as he picked up a towel and wrapped it around his waist carefully collecting his clothes.

Stepping out into the hall, goosebumps rose on his skin and he shivered his teeth chattering. Pushing into his room he quickly dressed in boxers, sweat pants and a T-shirt. As he turned from his closet when something caught his eye. A long sleeved Red plaid shirt. Reaching out he touched the fabric which was soft against his fingers. It had been Jack’s at one point, but Mac had taken a liking to it and so the man had given it to him. He swallowed a sob as he looked at the shirt sadly. He guessed this was all he had left of his friend. Another shiver raced through him, so he pulled the shirt out and on. It was large on him but warm as he buttoned it up. The fabric still smelled of his partner which relaxed him, Jack meant safety. Or he used too.

Still cold he weaved his way out into the main room to the thermostat, he turned it on and up to 80. He could turn it down once he was finally warm. The air blew but it didn’t seem to touch the cold he felt. The blond considered getting some water but his stomach rolled and he really wanted to go back to bed and sleep. Maybe if he woke up the last few days wouldn’t have happened. Maybe his friends would still like him and Jack- maybe he’d still have Jack.

Stopping at the hall closet he pulled out several blankets. Not having the energy to even close the door he left it to get later and dragged himself into his room. He haphazardly opened the blankets onto his bed before climbing up and pulling them all over him. He shook and shivered, coughing as he tried to get comfortable. Soon he had a small hole in the blankets that he could breathe through, otherwise he was completely covered. Tugging his hands inside the red plaid shirt he finally settled, his eyes siding closed. It was a relief, it lessened the ache in them a bit. He thought it would take forever to sleep with how he felt, but surprisingly he slipped off quickly.

“Mac! Have you got a plan yet?” His partner yelled from behind him. He scanned the area for anything he could use but it was like someone had known he’d be there. The shelves were empty. He cursed and swept his hand across his forehead. He felt so hot and it felt like sweat was dripping off him but his hand came away dry.

“Working on it!” He yelled back at his friend. His eyes hurt and he wanted nothing more than to throw up and sleep for hours but they had a job to get done. He wasn’t sure what the job was and knew it should concern him but he glossed over it as his mind tried to piece together a way out.

“Well work faster!” His friend snapped and he flinched turning to look at him in surprise. The older man glared at him, none of his normal affection or kind humor. It was all anger and hatred, directed at Mac. The kid swallowed suddenly feeling unsteady.

“I-I’m Sorry! I’m trying.” He said desperately yanking his gaze away. He moved but stumbled and tried to catch himself. Hands caught him instead, unfamiliar faces swarming him.

“Let me go!” He demanded and squirmed trying to get out of their grasp. However their hold on him was tight and unforgiving and he felt weak. It didn’t stop him from fighting. He kicked out and caught one in the face, they swore loudly but the grasp on him never loosened.

Mac was slammed down into a chair and he tried to get his bearings but before he could his head was forced back and all he could feel was ice cold water. He struggled and when he was pulled up he gasped and sputtered.

“Jack! Help!” But his head was dunked again. His fingernails scratched uselessly at the side of the tub until he was raised up again. He could see his partner behind the blurred figures of his torturers. “Please Jack!” His friend sneered and him and shrugged.

“Your dad was right.” He simply said.

“Please I’m sorry Jack! I’m sorry! Tell me what it is and I’ll fix it! Please!” He felt tears spill out of his eyes and he fought as he was forced backwards into the water. “Jack! I’m sorry! Please!” Still his friend made no move to help him.

This time when he was dunked he jerked a little bit didn’t fight. What would be the point, if his friend didn’t think he was worth fighting for anymore then there really was no reason for him to be around. Clearly there was something broken about him and no one wanted to tell him what it was so he could fix it.

“Mac!” A voice said but he ignored it, he was still in the cold water. He could breathe though which was weird. “Mac!” The voice was more insistent and he felt a stinging slap to his face. He flinched and held up his hands to protect himself.

“Don’ Jack m sorry!” He kept his hands up in a plea though he knew if they wanted to hit him, in his condition they could without issue. He felt so warm but cold at the same time. His body screamed at him as if he had run a marathon and freezing water rained down on him.

Calloused hands gripped his own and gently pushed them down before releasing them and cupping his face. He forced his eyes open and looked around. The world was hazy and difficult to focus on but he saw Jack looking at him. He gripped the man’s shirt sleeve tightly.

“Please Jack.” He asked breath quickening and tears threatening to overwhelm him. “I’ll fix it jus’ tell me.” He begged shaking.

“Fix what kid?” Jack asked him, he seemed puzzled but that couldn’t be.

“Me, whatever-whatever is wrong with me. I will, please.” He broke off as life came back to him and he tried to get away from the water. His partner cursed and he felt hands on him again. Jumping and whimpering he pushed back. He was so tired and he couldn’t fight it anymore. He heard Jack yelling at him again but he figured he couldn’t hate him more than he already did so he let himself drop. 

The next time he woke up, he still felt miserable and cold but it didn’t seem as bad as it had been. A noticeable improvement was there didn’t seem to be cold water raining on him anymore. Groaning and coughing he dragged himself up and looked around with heavy eyes. It was dark out, he had slept longer than he intended. His room was empty besides himself and he felt disappointment creep up on him before scolding himself. Even if they weren’t angry with him, his own family hadn’t coddled him when he was sick, he couldn’t expect others too. Despite the fact that was usually what Jack and Bozer did.

Feeling shaky and out of sorts he pushed the blankets off and stood. The first thing he noticed was he was no longer wearing the red plaid shirt. He paused and looked down at himself, his breath caught in his throat. Jack must have come to take his stuff back, including the shirt. A large lump formed in his throat but he tried to ignore it, pulling a blanket of his shoulders and shuffling towards his bedroom door. His fingers fumbled with the handle a couple times before he finally got it open and made a beeline to the bathroom. Moving caused his stomach to grow upset and he was huddled over the toilet heaving, though nothing came up. Wiping his mouth he did his business but found he couldn’t move any further. The blond slid to the floor and huddled under the lone blanket he had with, shivering and closing his eyes. He’d rest here a minute before going back to bed.

The door opening started to wake him from his doze. He heard a sigh and someone kneel down next to him. A hand grazed his forehead and he flinched pulling back with a soft whimper. 

“Is he alright?” A panicked voice whispered. It sounded an awful lot like Bozer.

“He feels too warm again.” A grim voice replied. Jack? He had to be dreaming again but he didn’t want to miss it. He forced his eyes open and he saw his partners figure swim into focus.

“Mac! Are you awake?” He dragged his gaze up to Bozer who looked down at him with concern and blinked heavily. Then he let them drop to Jack who had turned to look at him. The blond liked this dream, Jack liked him again in it.

“Kiddo?” His partner said softly reaching out and pressing a hand to his forehead again. Knowing it was a dream, he didn’t flinch but he couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the touch and drawing comfort from it. The hand turned and ran through his blond hair and he let out a soft sigh. “He’s still out of it.” The man murmured to the lab tech.

Mac’s back was starting to hurt, he figured he should go back to his bed and moved to stand up. He grew dizzy and started to stumble. There was a yell and hands grasped him, keeping him upright. Even in his dreams he was nothing but a burden to those around him.

“S’rry.” He mumbled struggling to be released so he could continue on his way. Instead he felt arms scoop him up and he was held close. It was Jack cradling and he tried to get down again.

“Stop before you hurt yourself.” Jack said firmly but with a gentle tone. “I’ve got you bud.” Mac stopped moving but closed his eyes with a sharp pain in his heart.

“Till I wake up.” He muttered, he hadn’t meant to say it out loud but the low curse from Jack told him he had. He was starting to drift off again but his friend fought to gain his attention. He looked at him with fever glazed eyes.

“What do you mean until you wake up?” He asked pained.

“Everyone left. Always do, not surprised anymore.” Mac said faintly, he was so tired. The man tried to prod him awake again but he slipped back into the blissful dark.

—

“Mac wake up!” A voice said sternly and he debated ignoring it, he was finally warm. Though almost uncomfortably so. But the voice was worried and he couldn’t help but see if there was any assistance he could give. He fought his way to conscious and forced his tired eyes open. Above him hovered Jack and he scooted back nervously. “What’s the matter?” The man asked and he paused when he saw his stricken look.

“Why are you here?” He asked voice croaking from disuse and how sore it was. He grimaced as he swallowed.

“Why am I here? Mac we found you with a fever so bad we couldn’t wake you up! Why didn’t you tell me? We had a deal!” The blond stared at him.

“I got Riley shot, you told me-“ he paused as the painful memory came swarming back.

“Shot? What did I tell you kid?” Jack asked and the blond bit his lip, was this part of his punishment? Having to repeat what was said.

“That you could see why everyone always leaves. That you figured out what my dad did and you wouldn’t tell me what so I could fix it.” He sat up in bed as a cough ripped through him. He could feel liquid move sluggishly in his lungs but it wouldn’t come up. After a moment he felt a hand patting his back and the stuff shifted again. Picking up a napkin he spat the hunk into it and crumbled it closed. His breathing was a little easier, he thought as he dropped the tissue into the garbage next to his bed and lay back again.

“Mac!” Jack’s voice sounded strangled so he looked up at him sharply. Two hands cupped his cheeks and tilted his head so the man had his full attention. How he wanted to relax into the touch but he couldn’t. “I- Mac i would never say that. First of all- there is nothing and I mean nothing wrong with you. You aren’t broken or bad or anything else you’ve convinced yourself. Second- I’ll say this as often as I have too. It’s you and me kid, always. You can’t get rid of me I love you too much.”

“But-“ Mac trailed off looking at him desperately, hope bubbling up inside of him.

“No buts. Your father was an idiot and Nicki just as bad. But I’m not, I won’t leave you. I can’t leave you.” Jack assured him stroking his cheek gently with a thumb to help him relax. 

“Didn’t we go on a mission? Didn’t she get shot?” Mac asked quickly as his mind casting back to the hazy memories. “Then I was- waterboarded?” He asked faintly suddenly unsure of what was real and what wasn’t. Jack looked like he wanted to be sick himself and suddenly he was worried he was sick and he hadn’t noticed.

“God kid. Yes, we had a mission but no one was shot. It was a near miss for Riley but you pushed her out of the way. Hit your head and we couldn’t get you to wake up. We got you back to Phoenix and into the medical ward. I told Matty I should stay with you but she forced me to go to the debriefing. You left in between then. We decided to let you sleep and then I had things going on and I guess Bozer did too. Neither of us noticed you were sick. I’m so sorry you were alone.” He swallowed. “You weren’t waterboarded but when we found you your temperature was too high, we had to bring you in the shower and you kept struggling and asking for help. I didn’t know- I didn’t realize that’s what you were dreaming.”

“Oh.” Mac said his mind racing. “Oh.” He knuckled his eyes trying to rid them of the tears threatening to fall. He wasn’t alone. “But- you took your shirt back.” He mumbled starting to feel out of it again.

“Shirt..” Jack asked brow furrowed before a look of understanding dawned on his face. He reached behind him and in his hand was the red plaid shirt. “No, we brought you in the shower clothes and all. I was just letting it dry. You can have it back now.”

He stood and helped Mac sit up and put the shirt on before helping him lay back down again. The kid was getting sleepy again so he tapped his cheek until he looked at him and then scooped him up into a tight hug.

“I know why it’s hard for you, but I hope someday you will believe that I won’t ever abandon you.” He whispered as Mac drifted off into a healing sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not one of my favorites but there it is. Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	26. Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac misses his mom, and thinks of her often.

_You are my Sunshine_

Mac remembered that her hair had been just like his. She said it reminded her of the golden sunshine on a clear summer day. She had certainly been his sunshine. Even then his father was rarely around and when he was he seemed more interested in teaching him then getting to know him or bond with him. His grandfather had been a constant always, but sometimes he just didn’t understand him. But his mother? She always knew. Sometimes even before he did. 

She had swept in like an angel and battled the monsters in the dark and the monsters in his mind. Whenever he got overwhelmed and overloaded, there would be a furniture fortress in the living room with a heavy blanket. They’d lay in there for hours while he’d breath and she’d stroke his hair and talk to him. From his father and grandfather he had learned to bend the world to his will. From his mother he had learned to appreciate the world. Literature and art had been a couple of their favorite topics. The time they’d stolen the professional painting, Jack had asked how he knew art but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to explain it to his friend.

_My only Sunshine_

Mac hoarded his memory of his mother selfishly. It wasn’t that he hadn’t accepted her death, painful though it was, he had. But he was afraid if he changed his routine, he would forget her. What if he started talking about her and sharing her? It felt like pieces of her would leave him and he couldn’t stand it. She was the only person in the world that had accepted him for who he was and loved him completely unconditionally. Well he supposed Jack did too, but Mac still had this deep seated fear that the man would abandon him just as his father had done.

He was aware that most people in his life attributed his abandonment issues from his mother. That couldn’t be further from the truth, he knew she was with him wherever he went. She had promised and she never lied. But his father who had barely been there to begin with, completely left. Mac had been angry that his mom was gone and his dad never wanted to talk about her. At the time he mistakenly thought it would help. Instead he had pushed the issue and his father and he had fought. The blond boy had blamed him for his mother’s death in the heat of anger and then the man had never come back.

The young agent could stem it from right there. He’d always been insecure given bullying at school along with an absentee father. But when he had left for good, something had shattered in him. From then on he watched new people in his life warily, trying to pinpoint when they would leave. His grandfather and Bozers parents had had him a nervous wreck for years. Sometimes he stayed with the man and sometimes he was shuffled off to stay with them. There was never any reason but usually it was after he’d get angry about something. He tried to learn to control it, and he finally managed his temper but it seemed to be too late. They still shuffled him back and forth before his grandfather announced that he had the grades and credits to start college early.

Bozer himself had ended their friendship for a short time, Mac couldn’t figure out what he’d done wrong then either. Something was broken about him, always had been. His mother might have been able to explain it too him. She’d have known, she had always known when something was wrong with him. She had done her best to make it better too. He wished he could have been better, wished he could be better now. He didn’t want to lose his friends but after twenty years and actually talking with his father, he still didn’t know what he did wrong. Though it certainly been imbedded in his mind that whatever it was, was definitely his fault. It was frustrating for someone who fixed things for a living, to not be able to fix himself.

When his mind ended up in deep dark places, he’d think about her. How she always smelled like roses, and always got him his favorite chocolate bar on pay day. He hadn’t had an Almond Joy since she passed, but he could remember how good they tasted. Especially when he split it with her.

“You’re such a gentle soul Gus.” She would say fondly and kiss his nose. No one knew her nickname for him, not even his father he was sure. More than once someone had attempted to call him that and he shut it down quickly and coldly. That name was dead, along with her.

_You Make me Happy_

Every year on his birthday, his mom would wake him up with a chocolate chip cookie, a lit birthday candle sticking out of it. He’d make a wish, nod and blow it out together. When he had been real little, he’d had stage fright at his birthday party and she had held his hand and blown them out together. Every year after while she lived, he’d had her do it with him. He’d tried for his grandfather for a few years after, because the man tried so hard to make it fun. And it was. But then his tenth birthday came and his dad walked out for the last time and he decided that birthdays didn’t make sense anyway. It was easier that way.

In the summers they went hiking, and swimming. There would be trips to museums, the zoo and art galleries. Everyday was a lesson, but she never made it seem like it was. It was always fun and always exciting. They’d always end the day at their favorite ice cream shop. He with a scoop of mint chocolate chip and she with a scoop of Rocky Road. It had become his favorite ice cream after she passed.

They had won the Haunted House contest three years running and they always had the best costumes. She made them herself but parents and kids would ask where she had bought them. He was always proud to pipe up and say she had made them. She’d blush and cluck at him softly and stroke his hair while they exclaimed, impressed. His mother was always proud of him, but he had been proud of her right back.

Christmas time was always the best. On December 1st without fail, she’d get him up at seven on the dot and they would eat a hearty pancake breakfast. Working food, she’d call it. Then they got to work, cleaning the house and pulling out the decorations. They’d sit and sort through them having planned how they would decorate the day after Thanksgiving and get to work. By the time it was dark, they were bundle in blankets on the couch, large mugs of hot cocoa and marshmallows. The lights around them twinkled and then left the main lights off so they could see them and enjoy them clearly. They’d then end the night with a Christmas Bedtime story, snuggled up in his room.

_When Times are Grey_

Mac knew something was wrong when she started taking naps in the afternoons. His mom had always been on the go. Then she started to get thinner, it reached a point he became afraid he would hurt her if he hugged her too tight. There were more and more sleepovers with grandpa who had him out doing things from dawn until dusk to try and keep his attention away from why he was there in the first place. He soon figured out that his dad was home a lot more often. He rarely stopped in to see him, but he would overhear his mother tell his grandfather about his visits. It hurt a little but he was just glad the man was at least coming to see her.

When a hand on his shoulder had woken him, he had been wholly unprepared. He had squinted up at his grandfather who told him his mother wanted to see him. His alarm clock said it was three am and he swallowed hard. The witching hour, he knew what was coming. Though clearly his grandfather didn’t think he did, the man chattered at him idly as they went down the hall. He felt a hand nudge him in the room and the door close behind him. Mac didn’t notice, staring across the room at the queen sized bed that so swamped his mother.

“Come here Gus.” She had whispered and held out a hand to him.

With a shuddery breath he froze. This was it, he knew that if she died that meant she wouldn’t be here anymore. He sniffled as he realized that meant no more warm hugs or kisses or stories. It meant no more…Mom. With a sob he ran across the room and scrambled onto her bed. Her arms looked weak but they had strength as he was pulled close. He placed his face on her bony shoulder, the familiar smell of roses helped him relax as he held her tight, sobbing into her shirt.

“Gus, it’ll be alright.” She whispered stroking his hair.

“No it won’t!” He protested turning his face so she could hear him better. “You’re leaving me! I don’t want you to go!” Hot tears kept running down his cheeks and he made no effort to stop them.

“I’m not leaving you Angus, I will never leave you.” She nudged him until he sat up and leaned against her side. “As long as I am here.” She pressed a hand against his heart. “And here.” She tapped his temple.

“It’s not the same.” He whined, he couldn’t stop it and didn’t want too.

“I know it isn’t and I know it isn’t fair. But you are strong and brave. You’ll make it and you’ll grow up to be an amazing man, and you’ll do it by helping people.” She whispered voice weakening.

“I will- I promise.” He vowed seriously though his voice trembled.

“I want you to remember that I love you, that I will always love you.” She had said leaning down and kissing his forehead. Sometimes if he thought hard enough, he could still feel a tingle in that spot. “Don’t ever close yourself off, you have so much to share with the world.”

“I promise.” He’d whispered snuggling closer to her.

His mother had started to hum, their song as the lay there. Her hand slowed until it finally slid to the bed. He listened to her breath one last breath with the last notes of the song before she went still. He shoved his fist in his mouth as he began to cry, rocking against her.

“Please mom, please!” He whimpered desperately. He wasn’t ready for her to be gone yet.

_You’ll Never Know Dear, How Much I Love You_

Anger burned through him for a long time, ending with the fight that had caused his father to run off. His grandpa had taken him aside then and given him a long talk about anger and it’s place in the world. It could have use, he had said, if you harness it and use the energy you gain to help others. However, if you let it consume you, let it pull you into hate there might be no going back. He worked hard from that day on, he made piece with his mother’s death the best way he knew how. He never could completely lose his anger towards his father. Something he learned when the white hot feeling had struck him as he saw him for the first time in nearly twenty years.

He’d been thinking about her a lot lately, especially given his search for James MacGyver but it wasn’t until the night after he found him that she had visited in his dreams. She’d held him closely for the first time in so long, he had felt five again. She’d reminded him to be strong. He hadn’t been ready to watch her leave, but bustling in the kitchen had woken him. He glanced over at his bedside stand at the old worn picture he had of her. Sitting it up, he scooped the photo up and tucked it back in its place in his wallet before stuffing that in his sweatpants pocket. Pulling his comforter over his shoulders, he padded out to have a look.

The familiar scent of pancakes reached his nose and he paused closing his eyes and taking a deep sniff. He could hear his mother’s laughter and the clink of plates as she set the table and got everything ready. He would stand in the doorway and watch her smiling broadly. Her hair surrounded her like a halo and her movements were fluid, almost like a dance even without music. She’d set a heaping stack of pancakes on the table. More than either of them could eat but it would be ok because it meant a visit to grandpa to share. She’d finally turn and see him, her eyes would crinkle as she smiled lovingly at him. It was his favorite smile.

“Morning sleepyhead, ready for breakfast?” She’d always ask and he’d always run to her and hug her around the waist.

_Please Don’t Take my Sunshine Away_

Mac shook himself realizing he’d fallen in a daze as he stood just outside of the kitchen. He leaned against the door smiling when he saw Jack moving around. He flipped pancakes, checked the coffee machine and pulled the orange juice from the refrigerator. He was humming softly and he felt a jolt when he recognized the tune. The man finally turned and noticed him. His eyes crinkled as he smiled at him and he bit his lip when he realized how much it reminded him of her.

“Morning kid, hungry?” His partner asked, motioning to a large stack of pancakes and a plate of bacon.

Shuffling towards the man he grabbed the man into a quick hard hug before pulling back and knuckling his eyes to rid them of tears.

“Are you alright?” His friend asked with concern, eyeing him all over to look for injury.

“You...reminded me of my mom.” Mac finally admitted and watched as Jack’s face morphed through several emotions before settling in a neutral expression.

“Oh? Is that a good thing?” He asked hesitantly. 

Suddenly the blond felt guilty, he had done his mother a disservice by not speaking of her. He had been afraid of losing her but in a way he almost had. No one he knew now had ever met her, knew nothing about her. Bozer knew more than most of them Mac had stopped bringing her up soon after they met. She couldn’t live on if she had no one to live on with.

“A very good thing. That, was our favorite song.” He admitted. “She made pancakes every Saturday morning. She always made too much so we went to grandpas and shared.” 

A hand landed on his shoulder and he looked up at the owner. Jack looked down at him tenderly.

“Thank you for trusting me with that.” He said simply before ushering the kid to the table. He was grateful for that, small steps would probably be best.

Sitting there he began to hum softly and listened as Jack joined in, voice quiet and deep.

_“You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	27. ITunes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team each picks an important song to them and confess the reasons why.

iTunes Shuffle #1:The Lazy Song- Bruno Mars

“I feel like I should be more surprised you like Bruno Mars.” Jack said leaning back against the deck chair, nursing his beer.

“Are you hating on Bruno Mars?” Bozer asked indignantly from his seat across the fire. The speaker they had their phones connected to sat on a nearby table.

“Not at all!” Jack held up his hands pacifying. “I’m hating on you liking Bruno Mars.”

“That name is officially banned for the rest of the evening.” Mac piped up from his seat next to Jack. He had the man’s phone is his hand and fiddled with it a moment longer before passing it back to its owner. “Do you remember how to add the song?” He asked with amusement.

“Ahaha, you’re so funny.” Jack mocked him, turning his head when Riley walked up smirking.

“I think he’s funny, grandpa.” She stressed the last word before dropping in the seat next to Bozer and picked up her beer that had been sitting nearby.

Jack mumbled indecipherable as he typed away on his phone delicately. Riley and Bozer teased him gently about it. Mac leaned back in his own seat and idly looked through his music for something to add. The last strains of the song played as he added his own to the queue of music, before scanning to look for his next one.

iTunes Shuffle #2: Highway to Hell- AC/DC 

Jack’s song began to play and he bobbed his head to it gently as he listened.

“I love how you don’t even pretend not to be old school.” The lab technician snickered.

“This is a classic!” Three voices echoed and he stared at his friends in surprise. There was a moment of silence before Riley and Mac went back to singing to it under their breath and Jack gave him a smug look.

“Better be careful what you say, you’re liable to lose your head.” The man grumbled, ducking when a plastic cup was thrown at him.

“This song is more than that though.” The ex delta said suddenly. “This was my pop’s favorite song. I don’t think a day went by that he didn’t play it on the radio at least once. He called it his anthem.” The man said sniffing and coughing to gain control of his emotions. Even now speaking of his dad was difficult but keeping the memory alive helped him push through it.

“A fitting choice.” Mac said gently and respectfully. Jack loved to tell stories, especially about his dad's missions that he knew about, most people got bored listening but his young friend never did. The blond would listen for hours, either tinkering on his bike or creating things with paper clips. Jack knew he listened though, because he was always asking questions and he liked to help tell the stories after he hear them. The ex delta rather enjoyed it and he knew his dad would have loved the kid and loved that he found his life’s work fascinating.

“Definitely.” Jack said clinking his beer bottle against the blonds and they each took a draw.

iTunes Shuffle #3- Raise Your Glass- P!nk

“Good choice.” Mac said with a nod to Riley who bowed her head grinning.

“She is the master.” The hacker explained tapping her foot along with the song.”

“Why did you choose it?” Jack asked curiously.

“I just told you she’s the master.” The dark haired girl said raising an eyebrow and smirking. The man sighed in exasperation.

“No I mean why this song in particular? Like I chose my song for my dad.” He prompted though he knew she was being purposefully obtuse. 

Riley stared into the fire thoughtfully tapping her fingers idly on the wood of the arm rest. The boys left her be to think and listened to the song. 

“I suppose all her songs resonate with me in some way. She’s strong and she doesn’t care about what anyone thinks and I like that.” Riley finally started. “I’ve always kind of felt on the outside looking in, the freak girl. Everyone acted like I was supposed to care and I just didn’t. The song puts it into words for me.” She shrugged as she finished and looked up at them.

Mac had a sad reflective smile on his face. She knew that his mother had died and his father who had been distant anyway had walked out for good when he was ten. Otherwise she had no details of information other than little tidbits that Jack and Bozer let slip now and then. She didn’t want to ask and upset him though she was curious, so she let it lie. She didn’t know if he considered her a close enough friend to ask such personal things. Bozer and Jack looked rather sad as well, but internally so but rather on her behalf.

“You aren’t a freak Riley.” Jack said gruffly. He glanced over at his partner knowingly. “Neither are you Mac.” The blond snorted softly but didn’t respond and the man seemed to decide that silence was the better part of valor in this case.

iTunes Shuffle #4- Lullaby - Nickelback

Mac had a moment of panic when they started talking about their reasons for song choices. He bit his lip wanting to change his song, but had he it would have skipped him and moved on to Bozer’s next song. That would have caused suspicion in at least Jack, if not all of his friends. So reluctantly he left his choice and hoped that they wouldn’t ask or if they did that he could put them off on another topic. Jack had had a few beers and he tended to more suggestible then.

“Deep choice.” Riley said to him though she kept her eyes on the fire. He hummed in response.

“I don’t get why everyone hates on Nickelback, I personally love them.” Bozer added in.

“Yea I gotta say their concerts are a good time.” Jack said getting stares from his friends. “What?” He asked mildly offended. “Are you really that surprised?” The other three looked at each other with shrugs.

“No not really.” Mac allowed his head resting back on the wood of the chair.

“So why did you choose it?” The older man asked curiously.

“Could you not break the deck chair?” Mac asked instead watching as the man tilted back dangerously far in it.

“I won’t break it!” The man whined but obediently set the chair down correctly.

“You said that last time, and the next day you were in Home Depot buying another.” The blond said with a raised eyebrow.

“Whenever you two talk to each other, I have to remind myself that Mac is the younger one.” Riley shook her head fondly.

“Dude she called you old!” The ex delta laughed pointing at him.

“No she was calling you immature.” The lab tech said.

“Ok my chair is down, now tell me why this song? And no bullshitting, I can tell it’s something deep.” The older agent looked to his partner with some mild concern.

“How would you know?” The blond asked sharply, he had misjudged Jack’s imbibing, he knew he wouldn’t easily be distracted, especially now.

“You’re tearing at the label of your beer. You only do that when you are troubled. You never want to waste a paper clip so you rip things up instead.” The dark haired man said leaning closer and staring at him steadily. 

Mac kept his blue eyes on his hand and sighed. “I don’t know as you really want to know.” His eyes flickered to each of them but seemed to linger on Riley. She swallowed hard, it hurt but she understood.

“I can go in and get another round, so you can talk.” She said though she couldn’t keep her voice completely emotionless.

The agent looked at her with furrowed brows before they smoothed in realization and sorrow. Reaching a hand out he gently grabbed her wrist waiting until he had her attention.

“Riley...I trust you. I don’t like talking about myself but if I do, you are just as welcome to be here as Jack and Bozer.” He gave her a searching look which she rewarded with a watery smile.

“Uh yea cool. Same- same for you.” He gave her a tight smile and let his hand slip from her so she could sit down. She did but on the steps next to him. She bumped his shoulder with his own and he ducked his head and cleared his throat.

“I uh… had a hard time when I was a teenager and everything I was feeling kind to came to a head in my second year of college.” He picked at his pants until a hand appeared in his line of vision holding out a paper clip. He looked up at Jack who nodded pointedly at it.

“It’s mine, so ruin it if you need to.” The blond accepted it and in a rare show of emotion, squeezed the man’s hand before pulling pack and taking his Swiss Army knife out of his pocket.

“ I decided that it would just be...easier for everyone if I wasn’t around anymore.” He heard Bozer inhale sharply and looked up at him. “This isn’t an easy thing Boz, are you sure you want me to tell it.”

“Yes.” His friend said with a tight voice. “I need to know.” Mac remained silent for a moment, twisting the metal. His friends didn’t push, remaining silent to give him time. The song continued in the background and the words washed over him.

“Of course I had access to the chemistry labs. One night I grabbed a bunch of chemicals. I didn’t look at what they were, I didn’t care. When I got home, I sat them all down in a row and studied them. I had challenged myself to make a poison that I wouldn’t wake up from.” His eyes were shiny with tears and his voice shook but his hands remained steady and determined. Belying his training in the army. “I chose several and got to work. My note was written and on the bedside stand. I took it and curled up in my bed.” He paused swallowing hard, he blinked and a couple tears burst out. He sniffed hard and swallowed once more.

“It wasn’t painful, but I knew I was dying. It was just a fact in my mind as a drifted in a void.I had forgotten though, that Frankie was coming over to get some notes.” He felt the look around at each other when he mentioned the familiar name. She hadn’t given anything away when they met. “She found me, she found the chemicals and figured out what I used. They got me to the hospital, and I was clinically dead for three minutes, any longer and there could have been brain damage. When I woke up, I did everything right and said everything right. The psychiatrist believed it was just a fluke and suggested and outpatient program before I was released. Frankie came over to my room and ripped me a new one.” He smirked a little at that. “She didn’t completely knock me out of it, I spent the next few days just existing. Then my grandfather called and told me about his war buddy that passed. I realized how selfish I was being. I had a good life and I was smart. I could be out helping other people instead of moving around MIT like a spoiled brat. So I went to the Dean and quit school, found the nearest army recruiter and signed up.” He finished his story and placed the finished paper clip on the ground, a semicolon. 

Mac realized the music had stopped and nobody spoke. Reluctantly he looked up. Riley and Bozer looked with red rimmed eyes at Jack. The older man’s hands were clenched tight knuckles white and he stared thin lipped at the fire.

“Jack.” He trailed off with a weak voice and cursed his decision to tell the truth. He could have come up with a lie.

“Don’t.” The ex delta said sharply. “Don’t get lost in your head. I’m not angry with you.” He fell silent grinding his teeth for a minute. “ You shouldn’t have been in the situation where you felt like that.” He finished. Mac wanted to reply but he couldn’t think what to say. He appreciated the man’s words but there was always a part of him that wondered what was so wrong with him.

“Why didn’t you call me Mac? Why didn’t you tell me?” Bozer asked scooting closer to his friend and draping an arm over his shoulders. Absently the younger man leaned closer.

“I didn’t know how, and I put it off until it seemed like it had been to long to be able to bring up.” He replied quietly.

“There is no statute of limitation on things like that bro, you can tell me anything at any point in the timeline.” His friend said gently.

“What Michael Crichton over here is saying is we are here for you kid in whatever capacity you need.” Jack said as the other two murmured in agreement.

“But do tell how you knew the author of the book Jack, I didn’t know you could read.” Riley jumped in and Mac threw her a grateful glance. She winked at him before turning back to Jack who sputtered in protest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	28. Scene after Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack has a terrible nightmare.

Scene after scene flashed before his eyes. He screamed and yelled, pounding his fists against the invisible divider. His partner couldn’t see him, couldn’t hear him and didn’t know he was there. That was unacceptable, so he fought harder to be known. They were in Afghanistan currently and Mac was carefully circling a bomb, there was a sniper up in the chapel above them. Jack could see him but he couldn’t do anything about him. Whenever he reached for his gun it seemed to slip through his fingers like water.

“Mac! Get out of there! Leave!” He cried desperately but the blond simply knelt next to the bomb, focusing on his work secure in his belief that Jack was watching his back. The older man watched in horror as the terrorist took aim. The red dot lit up on the back of Mac’s neck in the gap between his helmet and uniform. “Mac! Jesus kid get out of there!”

Jack flinched when the gun went off, it was like it was right next to him. Mac straightened, a fine mist of blood floating in the air. Blue eyes turned and looked directly at him, hurt but unsurprised.

“I knew you’d give up on me too.” His voice whispered before he collapsed forward near the dusty ground.

“No!” The ex delta screamed but the world went dark before he was in another place and another time. 

His partner was tied to a metal chair and he stared with open fear at the person standing before him. With a jolt, Jack realized it was Murdoc.

“Jack’s not coming for you Angus, you don’t think I don’t know that you fought? That you were a selfish brat and chased him away?” The man mocked the blond who struggled in his binds though the fight grew less insistent the more he spoke. “You know I imagine he finally figured out what your father did? It’s been about ten years hasn’t it? That seems to be the magic number for you and father figures.” He laughed cruelly as he pressed a hand down on the IV in the young agents arm.

Mac cried out and tried to twist away. His face was hollow and pained and Jack knew it had nothing to do with the physical pain being inflicted. He growled and tried to tackle the psychopath but he found he was back behind the invisible screen.

“Don’t listen to him kid! I’m right here!” The older man cracked his hand off the glass and swore shaking his fist out. He glanced all around, trying to find a way in. There wasn’t a fissure or a crack.

“No one wants you Angus and no one ever did.” The man grabbed the kids chin cruelly and tilted his head up so he had to look at him. Fingers digging bruisingly into his skin. “I know all about your life. I know your grandpa passed you back and forth with Wilt’s parents. None of them could stand to have you around could they? You’ll never matter. How could you when you didn’t matter to your father?” Mac’s face screwed up angrily and he tried to twist out his grasp. The man chuckled tightening his grip until the kid stilled and then released him and turned to his table of tools. Jack gagged when he saw the items laying out. 

As the man started, he could almost feel every wound inflicted on his partner who tried to pull away but fought hard not to cry out. Murdoc was clearly growing annoyed and stepped his game up. He picked up Mac’s own Swiss Army knife and twisted it into his fingers before plunging the blade into the young man’s shoulder. He couldn’t help but yelp and shake. Jack rammed the barrier over and over. Silence reigned over them and he paused what he was doing to look over. Injured blue eyes watched him again.

“He’s right, I know I’m not worth much. Only the lives of people I can save before I inevitably get killed.” His voice was hollow and his eyes dead. 

“That’s not true!” Jack said his voice cracking. The kid laughed, it was a lonely sad bark that the ex delta never wanted to hear come from him again.

“It is. It’s why everyone left, why everyone always leaves. While you’ll leave me too.” The kid seemed to shrink before his eyes, miserable and alone. He reached out for him but it darkened and changed again.

He was standing at the top of a cliff and hanging down over the edge below him was Mac and Riley. The hacker was staring up at him with wide frightened eyes and tried to reach out for him. Mac wasn’t looking at him at all, he was twisting and looking around him. For some sort of fix or escape, Jack knew. There was nothing though and he saw the moment Mac realized it too. The kid gave a stuttered breath but still he didn’t look up. Instead he swallowed and closed his eyes. He was shaking slightly, Jack knew he hated heights. Both their hands were slipping from the thin ropes that held them suspended in the air. The ex delta tried to reach from them both, but they were just out of his reach. He sat back on his heels as he realized why his friend wouldn’t look at him. He knew Jack couldn’t save them both and he didn’t expect to be the one saved.

The man looked back and forth between them, mind racing as he tried to find a way out of the situation.

“Jack!” Riley said voice cracking with fear.

“Just a second, just a second. I need to figure this out.” But it was like he hadn’t spoken. His body moved without his permission. He had his hands on hers and pulled her up over the edge. As her weight lifted from the rope, Mac started to drop. The older man screamed internally as sad blue eyes open and looked at him half a second before he dropped and fell out of sight.

“Mac!” He reached out and fell.

Jack landed with a thunk on his bedroom floor. He scrambled up and looked around panting heavily. He was alone, but he remembered his dreams. Running for the bathroom he skidded to a halt next the toilet and heaved until all of his dinner came up. When he felt stable enough he stood and took a swig of mouthwash, swishing it in his mouth as he went back down to his room. Pulling on a sweatshirt and his shoes, he grabbed his keys and wallet before taking off for the front door. Passing the kitchen, he spit out the mint wash before letting himself out and locking the door behind him.

Climbing into his car he started it and pulled out of his spot, taking the corner sharply. The ex delta drove faster than he should but luck was with him and he made it to his partners house without incident. He barely shut the car off and ripped his keys out before he was out of the vehicle and jogging up the steps. He fumbled with the door, trying to get his key in and it open but his hands shook with worry and grief and he kept dropping. He swore loudly and picked them up to try again when he heard footsteps and the click of the lock before the door opened from the inside.

Bozer stood at the door staring at him sleepily. When he realized who it was he blinked and perked up a little.

“Jack?” He said with a groggy voice but the older man was already pushing past him and into the house. He cut left towards their rooms and strode down the hall. He burst into Mac’s room and panic welled up inside him when he realized it was empty. The bed was made and not slept in though the clock on the bedside stand told him it was well past midnight.

“Mac!” He croaked and turned to leave the room nearly running into Bozer again who had followed him down the hall.

“Jack what’s the matter?” He asked sounding more awake and worried himself when his friend didn’t respond but ran down the hall towards the main part of the house. He was stopped by a strong hand on his own and he jerked hissing until he finally took a good look at the young lab tech.

“Where is Mac? I need to see him.” He pleaded. The man searched his face for something and frowned.

“I doubt he will sleep tonight. His dad stopped by and it didn’t go well. He’s out on the deck I think.” Bozer finally said and released him, watching as he took off for the back of the house, steps hurried.

Sighing he went into the kitchen and bustled around. He had a feeling the two men would be a while.

Jack ripped open the back door and stepped out, his eyes already searching for his partner even as he closed the door behind him. After a moment his eyes adjusted and he saw the kid leaning against the railing of the deck head down, idly running his finger over the wood. The dark haired man watched him a moment. His heart pounded painfully, he could just see the side of the kids face and he looked as devastated and hopeless as he had in his dream. Unable to stand it any longer he strode across the deck. Mac turned to look at him squinting until he figured out who it was. He opened his mouth to speak but before he had a chance Jack had scooped him up into his arms and hugged him tight.

He took a moment to feel Mac’s heart beat against his chest, the air of his breath against his neck and the warmth of his body against his own. He was alive. Jack swallowed back a sob as he held the kid. The blond had held himself stiffly and hesitant at first but slowly he relaxed and tangled his fingers into the back of the older man’s shirt. He felt him take a shaky breath and then another and gripped him tighter. He recalled Bozer saying the kids father had visited and he felt a wash of anger run through him and held him tighter.

“Are you ok?” He asked the kid gruffly but didn’t move to release him, he still needed the assurance that he was there and alive.

“I-“ he heard Mac hesitate and knew he was considering lying or changing the subject.

“Please Mac, the truth.” His voice was fragile and the kid noticed because he sucked in a breath and squeezed his arms gently.

“Not really.” He finally muttered. “He was drunk. He asked me to take my job back and then demanded it. Told me a bunch of stuff I already knew to bully me into it and then he left.” His voice became hollow and it reminded him of his dream.

“What did he tell you that you knew?” The ex delta asked after clearing his throat. He felt the kid stiffen and stroked a thumb on the back of his neck to get him to relax.

“I’m not sure you want to know.” He replied weakly.

“I’m sure that I do, now spill.” He said firmly, he heard a sigh.

“Just that if he didn’t want me, why would anyone else. I’m never going to be anyone’s priority and that I should expect you to leave soon because Riley isn’t going to hang around forever and you love her more. Bozer will move on to a family and find more normal friends.” His voice dropped as he finished. “I told him I already knew all of that and he got angry and left.”

Jack gritted his teeth, it was like reliving his nightmare over again but at least this time his kid was safe in his arms instead of dangling precariously over the edge.

“Mac-“ he didn’t know how to convince him he wasn’t leaving, maybe there was no way. The blonde abandonment issues were legendary. For good reason but that didn’t stop him from wishing he could chase them away. “I didn’t move to LA to be with Riley.” He squeezed the kid tighter for a second and felt how he squeezed back. They were silent for a long time before Mac spoke again.

“Are you alright? Not that you aren’t welcome to come whenever you want, you’re usually sleeping about now.” The blond finally asked.

Jack swallowed and dropped a kiss on the top of his head without thought. He felt him gasp in surprise but he didn’t try to pull away or protest, so he took it as a good sign and ran with it.

“Nightmares.” He said with a gusty sigh.” You were always in danger and I couldn’t help you. I had to watch you die over and over unable to help.” He felt the kids head tilt and glanced down to see bright blue eyes watching him emotionally. “I had to come see you for myself, going back to sleep wasn’t an option.” He admitted.

“I need you to know that I’ll do everything in my power to save you if you get into a tight jam. I don’t leave you behind, not for anything.” He growled protectively. He could tell the blond was listening intently but he didn’t respond. They stood gripping each other in silence until the sound of the sliding door brought them crashing back to earth.

“Can I interest either of you in a burger?” Boxer called out making no comment about their situation. There was a time for teasing but he knew now wasn’t it. His best friend had been fragile for weeks, his search for his father and then the crashing realizations when he found him. Jack kept him grounded and he wouldn’t do anything to ruin that.

“We’ll both have one.” Jack replied while Mac huffed against his shoulder. “Tell me truthfully you ate dinner and I’ll tell him never mind.”

The kid sighed and shook his head slightly. Jack glanced over at Bozer who nodded and disappeared back into the house.

The older man started to release the blond but he held tighter. Well if that’s what he needed, who was he to argue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	29. He Clenched His Fist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac is ever the pacifist, but even he has a line. Jack just wished the line included a little more.

“So Angus.” The man stretched his name sneeringly. “How are you going to get everyone out of this one?”

Jack glared at the man mocking his partner but the blond tugged at his jacket to get his attention and shook his head slightly. Begrudgingly the ex delta held his peace. The man they were protecting and getting out of the country, Brenden Masek, wasn’t just their job but also someone Mac went to school with. It hadn’t taken long for Jack to realize the man had bullied his friend terribly and that he hadn’t grown at all in the ten or so years since they’d been in school together. When he’d first recognized the blond he’d smirked cruelly, setting the older man’s teeth on edge. He’d kept a close eye on them but other than some scathing remarks that made him want to pound the guy into the ground, he hadn’t done anything.

Mac was quiet and withdrawn, had been since he realized who they were protecting. He flinched slightly whenever an insult was hurled his way, otherwise he kept himself mostly passive and completely on task. However, Jack knew him well and he could see the misery and hurt. The kid wouldn’t hurt a fly, hell didn’t even carry a gun in a dangerous job and here he was being harassed by the man they were supposed to protect. The ex delta had been on the phone with Matty more than once, close enough he could keep an eye on his partner but far enough away he couldn’t over hear the request to be pulled out. He had resorted to demanding, violence and even pleading but she wouldn’t budge.

“If Mac calls me and asked to be pulled out I’ll consider it, until that time you have to stay and finish.” She had finally said the last time he’d called. “I’m sorry Jack.” She added and she did sound sincerely sorry so he only grunted before hanging up.

Currently they were stuck in an empty warehouse in the middle of nowhere. They had lost contact with coms and there was no cell service. They weren’t sure where the thugs were that were after Brenden, but they didn’t want to hang around and find out. They’d found a vehicle but it was old and rusty. Privately Jack thought it was a stretch they would get it working but if anyone could it was Mac, so he kept his peace and kept an eye on him and a begrudging one on the other man. The blond was bent over, his top half hidden by the truck as he tinkered and worked. Brenden paced around nearby with a permanent sneer. The dark haired man didn’t like how he was looking at his friend, it made his skin crawl. He hadn’t been able to pry out of the kid what the man had done to him but he had the feeling it was serious. As it was he was almost certain something had happened when he wasn’t around. The blond flinched and watched Brenden warily whenever he got within five feet of him. He was sure that was why he was so close to him now and probably why he was frustrated. When Mac was thinking and working everything else went out the window. He wasn’t reacting because he wasn’t paying attention. Bullies like attention so it wasn’t going well for the man currently trying to goad him.

“Why don’t you sit down and shut up so he can work?” Jack finally snapped clutching his gun until the metal cut into his hand. 

He saw the man look over at him with an appraising look and over at Mac who had popped his head up to look at them. When Brenden turned back to him he had a gleeful look on his face and Mac looked resigned. The blond straightened and picked up a nearby rag, wiping his hands off while their charge moved closer to Jack.

“What are you? His little pet?” The man said snidely. “You know he doesn’t have friends right. He’s weird and holier than thou. Thought Wilt had finally figured it out and ditched the freak but then he went crawling back.” The ex delta raised an eyebrow at him.

“Be quiet Brenden.” A soft voice reached their ears. Mac was standing in front of the truck and giving the bully a steady look.

“Are you crazy? I’ll snap you in half. Stay back there and work little slave while I talk to your dog.” Jack watched the blond, he clenched his fists and moved closer to Brenden, giving him a warning look. “I hope he’s smarter than Bozer, but given he’s a jarhead I’m not holding my breath. They're all stupid-“ Jack felt his anger boiling over but as he started to move into action he was interrupted by his partners quick movement.

Mac had pulled his fist back and nailed the man in the nose, doing it just how Jack had taught him, he was proud to see. Brenden cried out and grabbed his face, blood leaking through his fingers and down his face.

“Don’t ever speak about Jack or Bozer like that again.” The blond hissed startling his partner, he’d never heard him sound so cold or angry. He’d also never seen him cold cock anyone unless it was the most dire of circumstances. “Jack is worth twenty of you! He lays his life on the line everyday to save dirtbags like yourself, he deserves your respect if nothing else. So sit down and shut the hell up!”

His blue eyes flashed but the man wasn’t quite finished.

“I’ll hab your job for dis Angus!” That was Jack’s cue to step in.

“Why would you have his job? You were attacked by one of the terrorists and Mac saved your life. Saw it with my own eyes.” He smirked and the man scowled mullishly squeezing the bridge of his nose. He knew he was caught. He had no proof and it was Jack’s word against his own. He history with Mac was well known, he’d be laughed out of the office and possibly never offered protection again. He finally sat like Mac had told him too and worked on the bleeding. 

Mac gave his partner a searching look and he got a brief nod in return. Giving him a bright smile he went back to the truck and began to fiddle under the hood again. This time without the distractions, he got it up and running easily. He slammed the hood down as Jack jogged up and clapped him on the back in congratulations. The kid hissed in pain and twisted away, flushing when he realized what he had done. He cleared his throat and made a beeline to the passenger side to open the door. The older man wanted to stop him, wanted to take a look at where he was injured. But from his kids embarrassed look and the smug look of their charge he knew he’d been right about something happening and he didn’t want to embarrass the kid further so he let it lie for the moment.

Soon they were settled in the truck and on their way. Jack drove, Brenden in the middle his nose not bleeding but the red liquid all over his face and the front of his shirt. Mac sat stiffly on the passenger side, pressed as close to the door as he could get. His head was tilted down as he tapped away on his phone, seeing if he could pick up signal and get ahold of Phoenix to check in. They had plenty of time to make it to exfil but they didn’t like being blind for too long.

“Why do you bother wid him?” Brenden spoke up again looking at Jack who sighed, he’d hoped the man would remain silent for the remainder of the mission. He chose not to answer though he watched as his partner bit his lip, blue eyes hurt. “He always flaunts how smart he is, but he’s too stupid to figure out that nobody cares.” 

He was about to lose his cool especially if his partner didn’t stop looking like a kicked puppy. He shouldn’t be sad and he shouldn’t be hurt by a man who just didn’t have a clue beyond his own fat face.

“Everyone knew it, it only became obvious when his dad left him behind. Seriously if your parents don't want you, why do you bother living.” And that was it.

Jack slammed on the breaks, the trucks tires squealing and fishtailing before they came to a halt. Mac had been buckled as Jack always made sure he was, but Brenden hadn’t been. He fell forward knocking his head into the dashboard and howling as his nose was squashed again. He tried to catch his partner’s eyes but he was staring at his hands dully, not even pretending to work anymore. The ex delta took off his belt and slammed open his door. Grabbing the man by the scruff of his neck he dragged him protesting out of the truck. His partner looked up at him wide eyed.

“You stay in here.” He said sternly but without heat and got a nod in response. Slamming the door shut he marched to the tailgate and shoved Brenden up against it. “I’m going to tell you this one time and one time alone.” He growled deeply, for once the man seemed to realize the seriousness of the situation because he remained silent, staring. 

“You will not look at Mac, you won’t talk to him and you certainly won’t touch him again. Because let me tell you something, he is a good person and no matter what you did to him he would still risk his life to protect yours. But I won’t risk his life or mine for a piece of scum like you. So you better be a model escort or you will find yourself in the hands of those jerks after you.” He leaned in closer eyes flashing and took satisfaction when the man tried to go through the truck to get away from him. “That is a promise. Do we understand each other?” The man nodded hurriedly.

“Good, now get in.” He grabbed the man’s arm when he tried to move towards the front. “Oh no sir, you lost cab privileges, you can sit back here.”

“But-but what if someone shoots at us!” The man whined.

“I guess you’d best lay down and be out of sight.” He shrugged and didn’t budge, arms crossed as he watched him finally give in and climb in the back laying down.

He turned on his heel and strode up to the front, climbing back in and slamming the door. He gave a sideways glance to his partner, the tips of his ears were pink but otherwise he was unflustered, having gone back to the phone. Jack left him be and put the truck in motion again.

The rest of the mission was smooth sailing. Mac got a hold of Riley and Matty giving their updated report. Not long after that they were at the airport and watching as Brenden got in the helicopter waiting for him without looking back. Jack gently took Mac by the arm and led him onto their plane. He took him to the couches in the back and closed the privacy curtain.

“Alright, shirt off.” He said sternly and watched as the kid debated arguing before deflating and reaching down to the hem. He pulled it over his head and tossed it to the side, waiting nervously.

For his part, Jack wished the helicopter hadn’t taken off yet. If he ever saw the man again, he’d kill him. The blonde chest and tops of his arms were covered in bruises. He gently tugged the man so he’d turn and he hissed when he saw his back. Deep black bruises there too.

“He did all that and you only hit him once?” He finally managed to ask as he checked him over for open wounds. There didn’t seem to be for which he was grateful. He gently prodded some of the bruises giving the kid an apologetic look, but he had to be sure nothing was broken given how bad they were.

“I only hit him because he insulted you and Bozer.” Mac sighed. “Otherwise I would have just kept ignoring him.” Jack swallowed emotionally and placed a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“I appreciate you standing up for me, but why didn’t you stand up for yourself. We both know when he attacked you, you could have had him subdued without him having ever touched you.” He asked softly. Mac shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

“Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. When we were kids, he could beat me up so he did. I didn’t want to do the same thing.” He mumbled.

“I get it kid but it wouldn’t have been the same. You aren’t a bully and you would only do it if it was needed.” He sighed when the kid shrugged and resolved himself to keep an even closer eye on him. It angered Jack that the kid thought of himself so little that a man pushing him around didn’t warrant self defense. He picked up his shirt and helped him back into it so his bruises didn’t pull much.

“I’m giving you pain killers and you are taking a nap. When we get to LA I’m crashing at your place for a few days. If you don’t comply I’ll tell Matty to have medical waiting at the air strip.” He said crossing his arms. 

“Jack!” Mac said a faint whine in his voice but the man didn’t budge so he sighed with a slight pout and nodded. Jack chuckled and ruffled his hair watching as his face grew more mutinous and he shoved his hand away. It was times like these that he remembered how young his friend was.

Shaking a couple pills into his hand he passed them over to his partner with a bottle of water. The kid tossed them back before settling carefully down on the couch. Jack pulled a blanket over him and smoothed his hair back, being close to sleep the blond only smiled slightly and snuggled under the blanket. Jack sat down opposite him and settled to be there if he was needed and watch his back while he slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	30. Surprise!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacks birthday can just go on hold until Mac is found and home safe.

Jack sat listlessly in the War Room, twisting back and forth in one of the chairs. He ignored Matty and focused on the paperclip design in his hand that his partner had handed him before leaving on a mission. His hand ran over it gently. One moment they had been planning a huge birthday bash. Mac had issues with his own birthday but he was a master at planning others, he almost beat out the older man himself. But Matty had called and they’d been swept away into work. The ex delta hadn’t minded until he’d been informed that the only one going was Mac. Both himself and the blond had argued the point but the director had refused to budge.   
“You aren’t needed Jack, there are plenty of soldiers to watch Mac’s back and it’s their mission. He needs to look at the bombs they’ve run across and give us any information he can on them.” The partners had looked at each other carrying on a silent conversation something that both impressed and annoyed the rest of their team before the older man finally sighed and gave in.

Even that would have fine but there had been an attack on the base they’d been at, where Mac had been at and they had lost contact with them. It had been almost 48 hours and the only sign that he had that his kid was alive was that a bomb scheduled to go off several miles from their original location hadn’t gone off. He knew in his gut that it was Mac that had shut it down, he just hoped that he could find a way to get in contact or at least home. 

When he’d gotten to Phoenix that morning he had been overrun with birthday wishes from Bozer, Riley and most everyone he bumped into. He was a fairly popular guy at work but that day he just didn’t care. It apparently showed and trickled down the grapevine because not too long after no one approached him and if they did they didn’t mention the day. He wasn’t going to celebrate until he got his partner back. He’d tried to hijack the company plane to get to him but Matty had a guard on him so he couldn’t leave the country. That had resulted in a large fight that left them in their current position. Him silently thinking about and worrying about his partner and Matty lecturing in the background. She either hadn’t realized or didn’t care that he wasn’t listening.

“Jack!” Her voice broke through his thoughts and he looked up with a start.

“Is it Mac? Did you hear from him?” He’d caught the urgency in her voice and half stood looking towards the screen. Riley and Bozer sat in front of it looking at him with pitying looks and he felt a wash of anger. They acted as though they weren’t worried too but he knew it wasn’t true. Riley had bitten her nails low and Bozer had been jabbering non stop since they’d lost contact.

“No Jack.” Matty said exasperated before checking her tone to something more gentle. “No, I’m sorry. We haven’t heard from any of them yet. But you all need to go home. There isn’t anything more you can do here.”

“I’m not leaving until you find him Matilda!” He snapped glaring at her angrily in the eye. 

“I will have security escort you off the grounds.” She yelled back.

“This wouldn’t have happened if you had let me go with him! If something happens to him I will never forgive you! You can find yourself two new people because I’ll be done!” He stood with such force that the chair went flying and he left the room without looking back. He didn’t hear Matty’s pained sigh or guilty look.

He got to his car in record time and sat in the front seat, debating what bar he should go to to drown everything. His fingers tapped nervously on the cupholders. He wanted to get drunk but was that the best choice? What if they heard from Mac and he was passed out and they couldn’t rouse him to talk to him. Letting out a grunt of frustration his head landed with a thump on the steering wheel and he stayed that way until a knock came on his window.

Squinting over he realized It was Riley and used the hand crank to roll down his window.

“Hey, I don’t think any of us should be alone right now.” She chewed her lip and glanced next to his vehicle, to where Mac’s Jeep had been sitting for days. “Want to meet at M- at the house?” She and he had apartments so there was only one house. It would be hard without the owner there but maybe he would feel closer to him and he knew he should be there for the rest of his team. They were hurting too.

“Alright, I’ll meet you over there. I’m going to stop and get beer first.” He agreed and finally stuck his Keys in the ignition now that he had a concrete destination. She gave him a hesitant look but whatever she wanted to say she apparently decided against it and stepped back so he could leave.

He stopped at a small store down the road from the house and walked inside. Without thought he picked up a six pack of his favorite and a six pack of Mac’s favorite. He hoped it would bring the kid home somehow. Paying he jogged out to his car and continued to the house. Parking he saw that Bozer and Riley had beat him there. Locking his car he went up to the door and let himself in, searching for his friends. As he rounded the corner to the kitchen he stopped in his tracks. 

A bunch of people milled around and smiled at him tentatively when he approached. Above their heads hung a banner wishing him a happy birthday and on the table was finger foods and a large cake. His heart pounded and he swallowed eyes searching for his team. The two of them approached him.

“I know you miss Mac, we all do. But he would want you to celebrate your birthday even if he can’t be here. He decorated so I figured we should put it to use.” Bozer said nervously.

“He- he decorated? When?” The older man croaked with emotion as he took a look around again. The kid had really gone all out with streamers and balloons.

“He came back and used the time before he left to do it. He had hoped he’d be back by today but in case he wasn’t he wanted it ready for you.” Riley said softly in response.

“Well I guess we can’t let his or your hard work go to waste.” He finally acquiesced passing the beer to Bozer who took one look at it and stuffed it under his arm to go hide until Mac could be home to enjoy it too.

Jack dived into the crowd and attempted to have a better attitude than he had the rest of the day. He wasn’t sure he was completely successful but no one ran from him and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, except for him. He just couldn’t relax and when he found himself starting to have fun he’d turn to look for his partner only to remember he wasn’t there and that he was missing and fall into a funk all over again. When the ex delta was considering bowing out, he heard the doorbell ring. 

“Can you get that Jack?” Bozer asked as he and Riley struggled with something in the kitchen.

“Yea.” He replied and listlessly heading for the door. At least this way he could slip out and leave, he’d plead for their forgiveness later but for now he couldn’t take it anymore. He opened the door.

“Surprise!” Jerking his head up his brown eyes met familiar blue eyes.

“Mac?” He said faintly studying the blond from head to toe. He was dusty and dirty, hair a stringy mess and a huge bruise covered his left cheek and eye. But it was him and he was alive and here in one piece.

“Happy Birthday Jack, sorry I’m- oof!” The kid began but was cut off when Jack pulled him into a hug squeezing tightly.

“You scared the hell out of me!” He barked shaking the blond slightly to punctuate his point. He felt arms snake around him and hug him back just as tightly.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered guiltily.

“You aren’t the one who needs to be sorry!” He said sternly.

“No, that would be me.” Both men jumped and turned to look behind them. The older man noticed his young partner wince and hold himself stiffly as they turned to look at their director. He filed the information away for later. He would be checking the kid over, force feeding him pain pills and making sure he ate and showered before sleeping. But that could wait a moment. He kept his arm on his shoulders, feeling the need to keep contact with him and the kid relaxed against him. “I didn’t quite understand how effective you two are in the field together. I apologize for splitting you up. It won’t happen again as long as I can possibly avoid it.”

“Thank you Matty.” Mac said respectively, Jack grunted until he got an elbow to the gut and a glare.

“I’m glad you realized it.” He said stiffly and the blond cleared his throat with an exasperated sound. “And...thank you.” He finally finished and looked over at his partner with a raised eyebrow silently asking him if he was happy.

“Ecstatic.” The kid replied to his unspoken question.

“Do you two know how creepy that is?” Bozer asked from behind them. “Welcome Home Mac, whenever you two are ready we can do the cake.” He looked like he wanted to hug his friend but saw the protective hold Jack had on him and decided to wait until later.

“We’ll be right out, first Mac has a date with the first aid kit.” He said guiding the kid inside.

“Jack, I’m fine.” Mac groaned but followed along obediently. It must have been a birthday miracle.

He left him in his room with an order to strip to his boxers. The kid grimaced so he knew he was right in thinking that injuries were hidden under them. When he returned with the first aid kit, warm wash cloth and towel he hissed. The kid stood in the room, he was dangerously thin ribs showing through skin, clearly having missed more than a few meals while gone. Black bruises littered his chest, neck and arms. He waved his hand to have him turn around and hesitantly he did. The damage was worse there, he could make out a boot print. Gritting his teeth he went over and cleaned the injuries to make sure there was no broken skin. Satisfied he passed him pills which the kid dry swallowed before shooing him off to shower.

“This wasn’t the birthday I’d planned for you, but I hope it was ok anyway.” Mac said pausing in the doorway and looking at him insecurely biting his lip.

“Kid, you gave me the best surprise ever. You came home.” Jack said seriously. 

They smiled at each other before the kid slipped out to shower and Jack sat on the bed to wait for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	31. Noodles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac and Riley discover a common interest and have some bonding time.

“I’m hungry, do you want to order in?” Mac looked up at Riley from his position under his motorcycle. She had her arms crossed as she leaned over to look at him. He could see her relaxed stance, and had to hide a smile. 

Somehow he had become the group therapist, and most of the time his participation wasn’t necessary. Jack would appear and spend days on end, carrying in his normal routine just staying a Mac’s house instead of his own. Bozer was more direct, he would yammer until Mac could kind of figure out what was wrong and ask a couple pointed questions to get him on track. Even Matty had appeared more than once and asking the blond for his opinion straight out. While he had never been forbidden to discuss her visits, he didn’t bring it up and she had expressed her appreciation. He’d half smiled, not a lot got past her so it hadn’t surprised him she’d figured it out. Riley was different though. She did vent to Mac, but usually they were in a bar or a diner somewhere. She liked having distractions. When she came by she was just looking for a place to relax with silent companionship. The blond was always happy to oblige and used the time to work on his projects, that he couldn’t always get done if it was anyone else who needed him. Today she was apparently looking for more involved companionship, that he could do.

“Do you eat anything other than takeout?” He asked amused as he slid out from under the bike and wiped his greasy hands on a rag.

“Are you insinuating something?” She asked teasingly raising her eyebrows.

“That you don’t cook?” The blond replied blue eyes twinkling innocently.

“Hmmm..”She shook her head with a chuckle. “I got used to not cooking and really it isn’t much fun to only cook for one.”

“I understand that, but Jack and Bozer will be back soon. We can make dinner for four.” He stood and stretched pausing to look at her. “If you want.”

“You can cook? I mean, I guess I’m not surprised but Bozer does it all the time.” She said flabbergasted.

Mac smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yea, I don’t often but I can.”

“Let’s do it!” She said grabbing his hand and dragging him to the kitchen and he trailed after her, her excitement contagious.

They opened cupboards and the refrigerator and stacked random ingredients onto the counter and met when they were done to look them over.

“Noodles?” Riley questioned holding up the box of pasta.

“Hey don’t knock it till you try it.” He laughed holding his hands up pacifyingly.

“Alright, impress me.” She grinned and bumped his shoulder with her own.

They set to work, each starting their own project. At one point in between prepping and waiting for the oven they set the table. They had a short argument about the placement of the silverware and ended up hovering over Mac’s phone to google it. Riley cursed while he pumped his fist. 

“Who taught you?” She asked and watched as he froze for a second before making himself move forcibly.

“My grandfather.” He said with a steady voice. She knew how much the man meant to her friend, she also suspected there was some hurt there as well. That he brought the man up at all threw her for a moment but she didn’t plan to make this awkward for him. She wanted him to feel as comfortable talking to her as she did with him.

“That’s cool, my grams taught me to cook. Never tell her I told you, but my mother is just terrible. Jack was actually a blessing despite the fact he knows how to make like three dishes.

“What do you mean?” Mac cocked his head confused. “Jack’s a great cook, he quite often kicks Bozer out of the kitchen.”

“Hmm.” She pondered thoughtfully. “He’s gained some skills. I’ll have to test them.” Riley winked at the blond to let him know she wasn’t angry. He gave her a lopsided grin in return.

They moved back into the kitchen to finish up their dishes. They moved around the kitchen easily as if they cooked together all the time. 

“Well isn’t this cute?” A voice interrupted them, Riley turned startled but noticed that Mac didn’t seem at all surprised, rather he went about spreading cheese on his dish and sticking it in the over before calmly turning to face Jack and Bozer. They stood in the doorway watching with varying degrees of amusement and shock.

“Why is everyone surprised I know how to cook!” Riley asked in exasperation.

“Hey! I wasn’t surprised!” Mac protested turning to check the oven when the timer beeped.

“Yes you’re right, sorry.” She amended before glaring back at the other two.

“I wasn’t surprised you were cooking!” Jack sputtered and moved into the kitchen to look over the food. “Oh dude, is that your grandpa’s cowboy pasta?” He sniffed appreciatively and laughed clapping Mac on the shoulder when he nodded a bit shyly.

“No way! Let’s eat!” Bozer exclaimed rushing in. He took the dishes Riley was holding and carried them to the table eagerly. She shook her head with a chuckle and started off with the last of her dishes. In the doorway she paused when she heard Jack call to her.

“Let me help you!” He turned to Mac. “Are you alright?” He muttered and she got the feeling he hadn’t intended her to hear.

“I’m good.” Mac said giving him a small smile and a nod. “It was nice.” He looked back down at what he was doing. Jack squeezed his shoulder before turning and heading over to her, taking one of the dishes. 

“He rarely cooks.” Jack muttered. “Even less will he cook with anyone else around.” He added.

“Because of his grandpa?” She asked just as quietly. She registered the shock before he nodded with a small smile.

“He told you.” It wasn’t a question and she could tell he was pleased.

“We talk!” She defended, and he chuckled.

“What are you two doing? Sit! Mac stop holding out on me!” Bozer yelled reappearing and ushering them to the table.

“Is this noodle stuff really that good?” She asked curiously.

“Riley you haven’t lived.” Jack gushed perking up eagerly when the kid finally appeared carrying the pan of food.

An hour later, after all of the food had been consumed, she had to agree that it was pretty amazing. Everyone had gushed over her shepherds pie as well, so all in all it had been successful.

“How about dessert?” Mac piped up and she gave him a confused look.

“I made a cake, that’s what I was doing earlier.” He said sheepishly.

“Cake? As in The Chocolate Cake?” Jack asked leaning forward.

“Yes, I take it you’ll have some?” The blond teased.

“Kid, I’ll have two!” The ex delta responded.

“I’ll help you.” Riley offered standing to follow him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	32. Flower Pattern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley watches Mac and Jack in a way that only a select few really get to see.

“I am telling you, it is not physically possible for you to hit the dart board in the kitchen from the deck stairs. You’ll hit the door jamb.” Mac argued shooting his friend a look as they added a set of darts to the cart. 

“I’m telling you that I can, I just have to get the angle right.” Jack argued back holding up a pack of ping pong balls. Mac studied them for a moment and nodded before they landed in the cart.

“No Jack, there is no angle. No matter where you stand, short of being in the doorway, you will hit the door jamb. The placement of the dartboard won’t be right.” The blond argued back dubiously. He shuffled down the aisle and picked up a deck of cards considering. It was pulled from his hands by Jack and added to the cart. They stared at each other before Mac finally moved along.

Riley watched on silently as she had throughout the entire store. It wasn’t often anyone got to witness them in such a way together. True they were always bickering and oddly aware of each other but they were good at remembering other people where there and toning down their honestly creepy telepathic abilities with each other. Given the huge amount of information that had fallen on Mac about his father and his past, well she could understand how both men were a little more preoccupied than normal. She liked watching them, seeing the depth of their devotion to one another gave her a lot of hope for herself for the future and it was just very sweet seeing them so happy. But truly, she could not grasp the argument happening before her. She had no idea how it even started, Jack had picked up the board and Mac had spoken as if mid conversation and the argument had commenced. Come to think of it and knowing them, it was probably a conversation they had paused long ago and just now returned too. Jack catching her attention and winking at her, saved her from having to decide whether that was adorable or really weird.

“So prove it then genius.” He challenged his friend.

A fire lit in Mac’s eyes, one that Riley realized had been absent for weeks. She watched on with a tiny smile when the engineer froze and tilted his head to look at his partner with a scowl.

“Fine I will! Give me a paper and pen so I can help you keep track!” He snapped and turned scanning the aisle. At the end nearby were boxes of notebooks. Riley noticed they were all flower patterns and watched in amazement as Mac grabbed one, which happened to be the one with pink roses and opened it. Jack had scrounged up a package of pens and opened it, handing his partner one and tossing the rest in the cart.

Mac held the notebook open on his left arm as he sketched and wrote with his write. He mumbled numbers and theories under his breath, eyes squinted in concentration. Jack chuckled and carefully guided the kid through the rest of the store. He tossed in things to keep him busy and an assortment of snack foods and drinks. The blond had been neglecting his eating in wake of everything. Jack understood but he knew he had to get him to start eating soon. He hoped easy to access foods would make it easier. They’d done it the hard way before and neither Mac nor Jack were keen to do it that way again.

Riley kept her silence as she followed them all the way around the store and into the checkout aisle. Idly she glanced at the magazines and moving down to the candies and gums. Mac was still whispering furiously to himself as Jack started to load everything up onto the checkout counter. Every once in a while he gave the blond a fond look. The hacker pulled her gaze from the displays and helped Jack finish unpacking the cart. The cashier quickly had everything scanned and bagged except for the notebook still clutched in Mac’s hand that Jack was trying to coax him into releasing.

“Just two seconds and you can go back to it.” He tried to soothe his friend tugging at it gently. Mac huffed in frustration but his attention caught the cashier and a flash of guilt wormed onto his face. Reluctantly he released the notebook and continued writing the calculations on his hand. Jack had turned away to get it scanned and turned back to hand it to him. “Seriously? Are you five?” He slid the notebook between his friends arm and pen and he continued to write as if the surface didn’t change.

Soon they were paid and on their way out of the store. Jack kept a hand on Mac’s elbow, leading him along with them while he remained deep in thought. Riley had heard horror stories of the blond agent nearly walking into traffic and such dangerous things when deep into an idea or theory. He got the agent into the car before coming around and helping her load the groceries into the back and jogging off to put the cart back in the store.

Mac had insisted he was nearly done when Jack had tried to coax him into conversation so they finally lapsed into silence, the scratch of the pen against cheap paper filling the car instead. 

Back at the house, the ex delta got the blond settled in the house before they brought everything inside. Riley sat at the counter, watching idly as Jack put everything away easily as if he lived there. At the last bag he pulled out a magazine and a package of chocolate and tossed them to her. She caught them and looked down in surprised at the latest Geek Tech Issue she’d been looking at and her favorite M&M’s, with the peanuts of course.

“Thanks Jack!” She said ripping open the bag eagerly.

“No problem kiddo.” He said taking a bite of his own treat, a Butterfingers. He had a coke on hand as well. Set aside he had picked up a package of skittles and iced tea for Mac to have when he snapped out of his physics lesson. Finished with his snack, he picked up the dart board and started setting it up on the wall Mac had mentioned. Looking over at the door he realized his friend had been right and he wouldn’t be able to make the shot he wanted. He was saved from having to admit it when the blond skidded into the room waving the notebook triumphantly.

“See Jack! Proof that at no angle could you make that shot!” He said proudly and held up the notebook and his hand with the notes in it.

“Alright, you win that one. But you want to explain to me with all the notebooks sitting there, why you pick the pink roses on the magenta background?” Mac scowled at him and tossed the notebook on the counter. His expression lightened only a little when he saw his present sitting nearby, though he reached out and snagged them both. His ears burned red as he opened his skittles and dumped them out, carefully sorting the colors.

“I still won.” He muttered as his comeback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	33. Telephone Cord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world is changing and moving on. That’s hard when loved ones pass away and can’t experience it with you anymore.

Jack sighed in relief when he saw the familiar silhouette in front of him. His partner had sent him on some merry chases before but usually he had some sort of clue. No one could read Mac like Jack, not even Bozer. He knew when the kid was upset or getting antsy and he made it his mission in life to find out why. For the most part MacGyver was fairly level headed and mellow. But lots of bad had happened to him in his life, way too much for the young age he was and compartmentalizing could really only work for so long or so much. Generally it was around anniversaries, unfortunately that meant his own birthday was a time that could be a toss up of a good day or a bad day depending on Mac’s mood at the time.

When he’d gotten the phone call from Bozer, Jack had known right away that something wasn’t right and it had to do with his blond friend. He answered his phone quickly and with trepidation. The young almost movie director had gone completely into panic mode. Luckily he had learned to read Mac’s roommate almost as well, at least when it came to stuff relating to his partner. As such, he had learned to make out the words in his young friends hysteria. Apparently Mac had been in a mood all week, true Jack had noticed. He’d been working in the garage all evening when Bozer had heard a crash and swearing. By the time the young man had made it across the house into the garage, his roommate had been gone. The garage door was left wide open and the project and Mac’s tools lay everywhere. It wasn’t unusual for projects themselves to remain in odd places, but the blond agent always took good care of his tools. Besides the fact that they had been passed to him from his grandfather, he had been taught from a very young age how to care for them so they remained in good working condition for a long time. Given he had more than one reason for wanting them to last, he was always very careful.

Jack had closed his eyes, a spike of anxiety running through him but he pushed it away. Falling apart wouldn’t help anyone, he had to focus on finding and helping his partner. It came out then that the blond kid had been missing for nearly forty eight hours. He cursed his decision to consult for the CIA on a case, he’d been more absent because of it recently. So while he had noticed his partner was off, he had chalked it up to boredom given they hadn’t had a case in a while. A mistake he wouldn’t be making again. 

After a lot of coaxing and prodding, Jack had finally been satisfied that he had gotten all the information from Bozer that there was to get. He spent as much time as he dared comforting the kid and assuring him that yes Jack would find Mac and bring him home, no he didn’t need Bozer to go. Finally the lab technician let him go with the determined mission to have Mac’s favorite meal and dessert waiting for when they got back. The ex delta operative had spent his time on the phone collecting odds and ends he’d need for a few days. While he hoped to have his partner found and safely home within a couple hours, he was flying blind. Jack hadn’t a clue where to start or what state really Mac was in. Without something to go on, he wasn’t sure how to narrow down his search. 

Deciding the best place to start was the last place Mac had been seen, Jack made the fifteen minute drive over to the kids house. He made a beeline into the still open garage. Bozer must have known he’d end up there eventually. Scouting around nothing immediately jumped out at him. It looked as though the kid had been repairing a table of all things. Jack couldn’t see wood glue and knew the kid had to have paused to go looking for it. Stalking the edges of the room, he finally found a small tube, sitting precariously on the edge of a shelf. That was not its original position. Neither was the box, which was half hanging off the shelf. Mac was always neat about his garage, though everywhere else tended to be cluttered. The kid always kept his grandpa’s spaces spotless. The Master Bedroom, which to date only Jack had been allowed to use, was just as clean and spotless.

The ex delta pulled the box the rest of the way out and tilted it, trying to get a good look at the contents. His brow furrowed in confusion as the items settled in the bottom. There didn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to the small pile of objects, yet for whatever reason one of them had set his partner off. Slowly Jack pulled one thing out at a time and set it aside. A phone missing the curly cord, a knife with the tip broken off, colorful pieces of cloth and a part of an old jack's set. The older man sat back and stroked his chin as he puzzled through his find. Perhaps the kid had taken whatever had set him off, with him. That still left Jack in a bind on how to find him.

Slowly he ran his hands over the items again and tried to connect them all somehow in his mind. It’d be easier if he could say for sure that the box belonged to Mac, it could be Bozer’s or his grandfather's as all of them had lived here at one point.

“Oh..” Jack whispered and looked down at the box again. Pulling out the broken knife, he looked at the handle. The kids grandfather's name was etched there.

Alright, so he’d been triggered by a memory of his grandfather, so where had that taken him? Somewhere that reminded him of his grandfather, had to be.

Jack spent the afternoon, desperately looking in each place he could think of. The ex cia operative had seriously been considering calling in Matty and the team to help him locate his wayward partner. It would have been painful to have to admit defeat, to realize he wouldn’t always be able to find the kid even though he promised himself he would. But he had one last place to check before he gave in. He knew Mac had mixed feelings about his grandfather's camp. Having many happy memories of time spent there, made it difficult to return alone. But maybe he had needed strong reminders this time.

Now his tension drained from him as he approached his partner, eyeing him over closely. The kid was hunched over something and completely still. While this was unusual for the blond who was always active, even in sleep. Nothing else jumped out at Jack to say that he was injured. For now he would give the benefit of the doubt and just keep observing closely. He went and settled beside his partner on the log placed in front of the fire pit. The kid didn’t flinch, either he had heard him pull up or he wasn’t aware that he was there at all. They sat in silence for a moment when Jack finally noticed the kids hands fiddling with something. Tilting his head he found the missing phone cord from the box. He still was at a loss to what had distressed Mac so much, but as the quiet stretched on, he was beginning to think he was going to have to outright ask.

“I don’t have a house phone anymore.” Mac spoke abruptly and Jack gave him his full attention. He was puzzled by the comment but responded nonetheless.

“I don’t either, there really isn’t a use for them anymore.” Jack shrugged. “I’m sure your grandfather would understand.” He added, maybe it would be that easy.

A pained chuckle. “My grandpa was all about advancement Jack, and he hated phones. He would have much preferred texting and video chat.” His voice was brittle and subdued, neither was something Mac should ever be. He was brilliant and he was the light in Jack’s otherwise dark life. The brat had appeared at the darkest point in his life in the sandbox and wormed his way into his heart. That skinny blond geek gave him a reason to keep on living and now he was going to help him with whatever this was.

“It isn’t that.” Mac continued. “It’s...he wasn’t there for the change. This is the first technological advance that I’m experiencing without him.” His voice cracked at the end and he swallowed pressing his free hand against his eyes in a desperate attempt to keep the emotions at bay. Jack knew better than anyone that when you came this far, it was easier and better to just let go.

The ex delta scooted closer and put his arm around Mac, tugging him against his side and holding him close. He remained silent, knew with the blond that he would be more likely to speak if he was left be.

“How am I supposed to do this without him Jack? He was all I had left and now he’s gone. It isn’t right.” His voice trembled and the older man could hear a degree of anger and resentment in his voice and felt his own heated emotions, directed at James MacGyver, the catalyst for most of Mac’s pain and deep seated issues. “The world isn’t the same, I don’t know how to just let it go. It’s been, long enough and I still- I just can’t.” He buried his face in Jack’s shoulder and shook with silent sobs. It had to be bad to have gotten this far, Mac rarely was so open, even with him.

“You’re right kid. It isn’t right and the world isn’t the same.” Jack said gruffly, memories of his father creeping up on him until he pushed them firmly away. “But let me tell you something right now and I don’t ever want you to forget it. You don’t let it go and it doesn’t go away. Your life grows around it and for some that takes longer than others. There are times that it seems closer, holidays, birthdays.” He said the last part pointedly earning a small squeeze. “I’ll be here to talk with whenever you need it. Just know it’ll pass and you’ll be back to whatever constitutes as normal now.”

“Thanks Jack.” Mac said softly making no move to pull away. That was fine, they had all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	34. Leopard Print

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley experiences a new level of bickering between Mac and Jack. Before Motherhen!Jack makes an appearance.

“Stop treating me like I’m 12 Jack!” Riley Davis’ voice drifted down the hall and into the lab where Angus MacGyver was working diligently on some projects he had gotten behind on while on Hiatus from the Phoenix foundation. 

The blond sighed and looked sadly down at his work, lamenting the loss of peace and quiet. Whenever Jack and Riley had an argument, he somehow ended up as referee. Normally he didn’t mind, but he wasn’t having the most pleasant day and all he wanted was to drown himself in his work. Maybe, he decided, if he remained quiet and on the floor behind the pieces and parts strewn around they would move on.

“When you stop acting like it, maybe I will!” He heard his partner argue back and heard a hand slap onto the glass door and winced. 

“I’m not doing anything but preparing for our undercover op!” The hacker snapped back, voices becoming clearer as the door opened and they entered the lab.

Mac lay on the floor under the engine he was taking apart. He continued to work and didn’t glance at them, maybe they’d leave him be. When instead they came in closer and around to his side, he knew luck wasn’t with him that day.

“Mac will you tell Riley to change out of that ridiculous outfit!” Jack snapped looking down at his partner for support.

“Mac will you tell Jack to stop Helicopter Parenting!” Riley snapped.

The blond bit back a sigh and sat up, grabbing a rag he absently wiped his greasy fingers off and squinted at the computer geek. She wore a short leather jacket over a form fitting, black shirt. A leopard print skirt topped off with leggings and a pair of shoes he recognized as Jimmy Choo’s finished up the ensemble. Mac realized he was staring and blushed clearing his throat. Feeling a blush creep up his cheeks he glanced at Riley, expecting her to be upset at him. Instead he was surprised to see red staining her cheeks as well. He cleared his throat and looked at his partner. Luckily the man hadn’t seemed to notice the exchange.

“There’s nothing wrong with her outfit Jack.” He finally said, he really didn’t find it that over the top.

“What are you talking about?” The ex delta snapped incredulously. “Leopard print is for..is for..” he trailed off, as he saw Riley’s face drop with sincere anger.

“For what Jack?” She hissed, eyes narrowed dangerously. Mac knew now was the time to step in before things deteriorated any further.

“Riley looks great Jack, we’re going undercover in a nightclub, this is how people dress.” He cut in, gaining a grateful look from Riley and a snarl from Jack.

“You millennials, always sticking together no matter what.”Jack snapped and Mac felt his own patience wearing thin.

“What does being a millennial have to do with anything?” He argued back eyes narrowing, it was Riley’s turn to look alarmed. “It’s really annoying when every person over the age of forty blames things on being a “millennial”. I’ve got news for you Jack, you have a generational name too and I bet you the generation before you blamed you for things to!”

“It has to do with being a millennial because no one else would wear that!” Jack waved his hand at her outfit again.

“Would you like me to point out some of the travesties from when you were in your twenties?” Mac leaned forward eyes narrowed and blazing with rare unadulterated anger. “Here’s a hint, Leather Cuffs are on the list.”

“Ohhhh boy you a cruising!” Jack growled stepping closer to the blond.

“Maybe if you’d grow up-“

“Grow up? Listen here Geek Squad-“

“Be Quiet!” The three of them jumped and turned startled looks toward the voice. Mattie Webber, Director and mother bear had entered the room and she didn’t look happy.

Riley and Jack launched into heated explanations each glaring at each other as they tried to talk over each other, growing louder. Mac grimaced, already having felt overloaded all day, the grating noise was irritating the dull headache that was quickly becoming a migraine.

“I said be quiet!” Mattie snapped again, though the blond agent was grateful to note that she toned it down a bit after throwing him an appraising glance. “What happened blondie? I didn’t ask you Jack!” The Director added when the older man opened his mouth to speak. His jaw closed with an audible click.

“I-I Just wanted to work on the engine for our entry to next years robotics competition.” Mac said wearily and leaned back against the table.

Immediately the anger in Jack’s face dropped and he gave his partner a cursory glance. Worry creased his brow and he marched to the back corner of the lab. The blond agent let his head drop in his hands and massaged his temples. He heard Riley shuffle uncomfortably beside him and looked up with what he hoped was an encouraging smile, squinting in the bright light.

“You alright Mac?” The hacker asked worriedly.

He wanted to respond but his head throbbed and his stomach rolled. Grimacing again, he focused on keeping his lunch, albeit as little as it had been, in his stomach.

“How long have you had the migraine homie?” Jack asked gently, appearing beside him with a couple of his heavy duty pain killers, prescribed by a Phoenix doctor himself after witnessing one of the worst attacks that the young agent had ever endured. And he had had plenty of bad ones. Mac often ignored the symptoms out of habit, but generally Bozer or Jack picked up on something before they got too out of hand. The ex delta exuded an air of guilt, for not catching it sooner this time.

“Hmmm...started last night I think.” Mac replied accepting the tablets and bottle of water. He remembered feeling tired and worn down, and his eyes had been achy. The blond had assumed at the time that he just needed sleep.

Jack made a noise in his throat as he made sure the kid downed the tablets and most of the water. Taking the bottle back, he set it aside and slung Mac’s right arm over his shoulder, shooting him a warning glance when he tried to brush him off.

“I’m taking you home and getting you in a dark room with a cloth, you never should have come to work Mac.” Jack looked towards Mattie who nodded her permission and stepped out of the way.

“I’ll send Bozer in with Riley, you take care of baby Einstein.” She said studying the young team member with worry. He was pale with dark circles under his eyes and his forehead was creased with pain.

“Probably a good idea.” Jack grunted giving Riley’s outfit one last disgusted glance before guiding his partner out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	35. Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Angus lost his mother he never thought he could be happy again. Until a loud mouthed Texan walked into his life that is..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOC warning again.

Emotions weren’t anything strange to Angus MacGyver. He knew, though he believed his parents hadn’t know that he knew, that his pension for deep emotions had been a thing of contention between his father and mother growing up. Then it had been a source of argument between his father and grandfather when his father had passed. 

“I will not have a wimp child, dad!” The man had said exasperatedly one evening, when Mac had been having a particularly trying time. He’d listened outside the study door, head low and tears in his eyes and a feeling of anger deep in his belly. What right did the man have to judge him when he spent so much of his time gone? He’d even been gone the night his mom had passed away, finally showing up the next morning and completely brushing off his devastated son as he made his way into their bedroom. Most everyone who had been in there cleared out to give him room, forgetting the child was there, they had made their way downstairs. It wasn’t until his grandfather had left the room and found him sitting in the hallway that he had been remembered. The man had picked him up and muttered to him soothingly looking up when the bedroom door opened again. 

Through his tears Mac had seen his father and for the first time in many years, had reached out to him for comfort. They both had suffered a great loss and in the logical mind of a child, despite the tension and differences between them, they could come together and help each other through. Instead the man had sneered and him and shook his head when his grandfather tried to pass him over.

“Call me when he’s not a crybaby, I have work.” The man had said before parting.

Mac had stared after him learning another new emotion that day. Rage. In the following days and weeks as he adjusted without his mother and living with his grandfather with only phone calls and short visits a from his father, he learned other emotions as well. He tried to ignore them and push them away. He wanted to be better for the man who had had a hand in his birth. He tried to be smarter and quicker. But he was sensitive as his mother had always put it and he couldn’t stop feeling and reacting. Which had brought him to this point. After convincing his best friend Bozer to sneak in the school with him, he’d tried to make a chemical project for their science fair that would blow the judges away. He’d instead melted several desks and his grandfather had been called to the school. He sat in the hall with his friend while Bozers mom and dad and his grandpa went in the meeting. It had lasted a long time and when they came out all of the adults had looked grim. And neither of them had gotten in trouble. Staring at each other through the car windows, the two friends could only shrug.

The next day Mac’s father had appeared and shoved past Mac when he tried to greet him, going to directly to his grandfather study.

“Why do I need to be here?” He’d demanded, slamming the door shut. Mac had gone and pressed his ear to the door, his grandfather was less robust.

“Because you have a child.” The man had said sternly. “I’ve been patient and understanding. I know you lost your wife, I know you miss her. But he does too. You could use each other, not cut him out entirely!” This was when the crybaby comment had come in and the anger had really began to stew in the child’s stomach. He felt hot all over and tears burned in his eyes but this time it had nothing to do with being sad, this was pure fury and all he wanted was for his father to hurt as much as he did right now, as much as he had made him feel his whole life but especially since he lost his mom.

The door to the study had opened then and he turned. For once his father paused when he looked down at him and remained silent, seeming to understand something was different this time. The blond boy hardly saw his grandfather with a worried expression standing just behind the man. His blue eyes, an icy color as a result of his anger, piercing in the brown of the older man.

“Get out of my way, Angus.” The man finally said firmly and the tremulous hold he had on his temper released and tears trickled down his face as he began to scream, getting out years of bottled up emotion surging forward and he hardly remembered what he was saying, just aiming for the most hurt possible.

“Sure, wouldn’t want to be in your way. I’ll just end up like mom if I do. It’s your fault she’s gone, so go away again and don’t come back!” He threw the words at him and felt a sickly feeling of delight in his stomach when he watched the mans face drop a little. 

Then he felt sick and he didn’t want to be around anyone. Turning on his heel he ran, through the hallway, past the entryway and out the door onto the porch and onto the street. He had no idea where he was going and he didn’t care. He needed to get away before he fell apart, he already felt like he was coming apart at the seems. He couldn’t see where he was going as he scrubbed tears from his eyes and cheeks, having run into the forest behind his careful he felt branches and bushes tugging at his clothes as he raced past, trying to beat the feelings creeping up at him.

His foot caught on a root and he couldn’t catch himself tumbling and rolling. Mac lay for a long time in the ground where he landed, a burning in his hands and knees. An ache in his chest and eyes. The blond seemed to be in an odd state and he hiccoughed as anger crashed into sadness and despair before looping around once more. He let out a screech and threw a rock just next to his head as hard as he could, feeling satisfaction as he heard it thwack a tree dully before hitting the ground. Shakes and shivers took over him then and he had no idea what was happening or his to stop it, simply hugging himself tight as he rode out the waves.

Mac was outside for hours, lost in his mind and the thoughts that plagued him. When he could finally claw his way out of the pit of despair he’d dug himself into, he’d realized a couple things. It was cold, it was dark and no one had any idea where he was. He felt deep down that no really cared, an uncomfortable realization had come to him during his meltdown. His mother was gone, and his father didn’t care about him, didn’t really want him. If the two people in the world who were supposed to care about him and want him weren’t there or just plain didn’t… why would he expect anyone else to. His grandfather looked after him out of a sense of duty and Bozer could easily find a friend that was less trouble and came with less baggage. But he also knew the old man took responsibilities seriously and Mac was one of those. It would be ungrateful to remain gone and let him wonder where he went.

Dragging himself back to his feet, Mac gagged when he saw tacky red blood on his hands and I knees where he’d scraped them and the blood had begun to slow and dry. The pain resonated through his body, but he found he liked it. He’d never felt so alive and present than he did right in that moment. It was the first time Mac had discovered he could use pain to help balance the emotions he felt. It wouldn’t be until many years later and a loud mouthed loyal Ex Delta Agent that he would give up purposefully hurting himself as a way to cope.

Mac knew the woods he was in like the back of his hand. Both his father and grandfather had used them for various life lessons they felt he needed to know, so he was confident in the path he took weaving his way slowly back towards his grandfather's house. Stepping out of the inky black woods onto the back lawn, where the back porch light shone causing him to squint, he realized there was activity going on inside the house. Concerned that something had happened to his grandfather in his absence, he had run down the back lawn and burst through the back door.

“Grandpa!” He’d yelled as he searched the house, finally finding the man in the dining room, huddled over the table with Mr. and Mrs Bozer. A cry and two arms nearly strangling him in a hug announced his best friends presence as well. He’d stared at the adults with wide eyes and they stared back as Bozer had babbled away at him in the background, not once loosening his grip.

Nothing was ever said about the night, but Mac had never again run away. The fear that something could have happened in his selfish moment took the dramatic tendency right out of him. A deep dark part of him could also see that he had such a violent reaction because running away was exactly what his father had done. His father who he had learned had left immediately after Mac himself, who hadn’t said a word and hadn’t called or appeared since. That’s when his father taught him a new sensation. Anxiety riddled him day and night. Thoughts of where the man was and if he was still angry, if he’d come back soon so that could apologize. It reached the point that his dreams were riddled with feverish nightmares that he could hardly remember when he woke. The only thing left was the heart stopping fear and incredible urge that he was missing something.

Angus MacGyver’s tenth birthday was a catalyst for a lot of things that affected the course of his life far into the future. He had been convinced his father would come home, he was always home for his birthday without fail, no matter the troubles. His certainty never faltered, even as the day wore on and the party he had with his best friend, his family and grandfather began and ended, he never gave up hope. When his grandfather had sat him down in the study and gently explained that his father wasn’t coming and would never be coming again, something had broken. The the very present day, Mac couldn’t say what it was that he’d felt, because his mind had had to learn the very useful skill of compartmentalizing very fast. Everything he felt and thought overwhelmed him and he pushed them away with a mental shrug. Admittedly he wasn’t skilled and he never tried to deal with any of the mess he’d been feeling in the period from his mother’s death and his father's abandonment of him. He was sent home with Bozer that night, it was also when he started living more with his friends family than his own.

Mac learned on his birthday that year that he didn’t mean anything to anyone truly. Just a problem to be shuffled around as it was convenient. He worked hard in school, helped out at home, whatever home he was in. It never seemed to matter, he was shuffled back and forth until sixteen when he’d been pulled into a meeting with his grandfather, the Bozer’s and the school who insisted he apply to college early. Bozer had screamed angrily when he’d found out, had made a new group of friends and ignored Mac completely until he left. By 17 he’d been at MIT a small nerdy kid in a sea of large adults. By 18 he’d joined the service and began disarming bombs. He’d even found a man who seemed to like him for him, and then the man had been blown up and once again Mac had been left alone with even more proof (in his mind) that he didn’t deserve to have anyone to call his own since the ones he’d had hadn’t been able to stand him.

A period of leave and he’d managed to make up with Bozer. His friends mother had called and said that he’d been getting into trouble and she didn’t know how to get him out of it. Mac hadn’t been sure his old friend would listen but he owed it to them all to try so when leave was granted, he’d gone out to give it a try. He’d returned to the sandbox a little lighter, he’d gotten old friend back and managed to open his eyes to his situation. Letters and care packages began to appear and it was just in time because Mac’s only company was an older Texan man with a love for making fun of his first name, griping at him for being slow and counting down his days until he went back home. 

Something new had happened then. Jack hadnt abandoned him though he had defied orders, not only that he had kept him from being killer. While it was his job to keep Mac safe, he could have easily left him behind and gone back to base, saying the slow iOD tech had resisted orders again. Mac, who’s anger had burst out of the boxes and plagued him since Pena’s death, began to try and put it all back again. The man in question hart taught him the proper way to sort through his emotions and feelings and soon enough he was back to his more mild mannered self. The edge to their bickering began to end and when Jack made fun of his name, it seemed to be honest teasing. Mac’s heart had dropped when he’d heard the fear in his Overwatch’s voice when he’d triggered the bomb. Protocol said Mac should have left to clear the building, that Jack was an acceptable sacrifice. The only acceptable sacrifice in Mac’s book was himself. He figured his only worth was helping others and Jack had saved his ass more than once. So he’d ignored the mans protests and went searching for him. Their banter was soothing and he’d found himself honestly laughing as he got the bomb disarmed and saved the man.

From that moment on though it had always been Mac and Jack, Jack and Mac. At home or in the sandbox no one spoke of one without the other. The Texan introduced him to new emotions but he liked these ones. Excitement, and adventure were prominent ones. But he got warm feelings in his belly when the man worried about his sleeping and his eating or scolded him for being flippant with his life. The blond held no illusion that Jack was there forever as the man said he was, no one stayed with Mac forever because he wasn’t worth staying for. But he pushed those thoughts away whenever they struck, he was happy to just have the man while he could. Jack Dalton was a damn good agent for a reason and it wasn’t hard for him to piece together a general idea of how his young friend felt and tried his best to disabuse him of the notion. 

Mac knew the rest of the team worried that their relationship was unhealthy. They were codependent, there wasn’t away around that but they needed each other and Mac couldn’t bring himself to do anything but cling while he could.

When the blond agent had discovered his father and all the secrets came spilling out, especially the fact that the man had blamed - still blamed him for his mother’s death, something else had broken deep inside of him but this time he couldn’t seem to push it away, this time it festered. Jack had been gone so often cleaning up after the mess in Russia and Mac wouldn’t tell Bozer, couldn’t trust after all this time that he wouldn’t leave again too. He didn’t want to burden Riley who was having her own issues surrounding the Texans frequent absences. His life quickly became the lab at work and his garage at home. His hours passed by as he tinkered on project after project. He didn’t want to think and he didn’t want to feel. The urge to run the sharp edge of the blade in his hand against the smooth alabaster of his skin called more and more. One small cut, one slice of pain, a little blood just to remind him he was actually alive.

Mac hadn’t realized he was just standing in the middle of his lab at work, staring at the blade as the siren call rang in his ears. At least not until the doors swished open behind him and a startled voice echoed. He blinked trying to come back to himself as a familiar hand gently took his wrist while the other tried to remove the knife blade from his hand. Catching up with what was happening he released it without a fight and slowly dragged his gaze up blue eyes meeting worried brown. Jack. Another emotion, one that the man in front of him had definitely been the one to teach him flared up. Overcome he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the man. To his credit the older man simply enveloped him into his arms and held him tight. Despite the fact that Mac was actually quite a few inches taller than his friend, he always felt in situations like this, that Jack towered over him protectively.

“Sorry it took so long kid.” The man said gruffly and one of his hands absently smoothed the blond hair underneath it, causing Mac to sigh and relax further against him. Soaking in the mans calming presence. “Good news is I should be done now and I’ve made it clear to boss lady that separate missions for the forceable future are a no go. She saw it my way.” Mac pulled back as he spoke and watched as the man grinned toothily at him as he spoke. The emotion washed over him again and he smiled. Of all the ones he’d learned the one Jack helped him feel was the one he loved most. Happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	36. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac isn’t sleeping again and Jack is concerned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOC warning

“So what are we going to do about Mac?” Jack asked without preamble as he entered the war room. The rest of the team sans the aforementioned agent, whom Jack had distracted with some project or other in his lab, looked up as he entered.

“Uh why would we need to do anything about Mac?” Bozer asked with a raised eyebrow and a tilt to his head. Jack surveyed the rest of the room, Riley and Leanne looked just as puzzled as Bozer though he was glad to see Matty seemed to have some idea what he was talking about, if her thin lips and squinted eyes were anything to go by. Jack prided himself on being a prime Matty reader so he felt fairly safe in his assumption.

“Because he’s not sleeping.” The again was left off but hung in the air between all of them. The younger agents face immediately became concerned and he looked ready to bolt from the room in search of his childhood friend. The ex delta slid to block the door and raised his hands pacifying when the man shot him a glare. He knew he’d already be feeling bad for not noticing but really, Mac was good at hiding it. Only Jacks unique situation of having been in close quarters while in Afghanistan made it easier for him to pick up when something was wrong. But they needed a plan because if they went in without a plan, Mac would logic his way out of the room and it would become almost impossible to pin the squirrelly emotionally damaged man down. Luckily Bozer seemed to come to the same conclusion because he relaxed his stance slightly.

“What do we do?” It was Riley who also looked grim and a bit guilty. That gave the older man his own guilt. He hadn’t said anything to upset them, but because he was going to need backup. And while Riley had known Mac for a few years now and they were close, there were still things that she didn’t know. 

“Mac told me this was normal.” Leanne’s voice broke the well of misery the three had fallen into and Jack looked up sharply. He liked Leanne well enough but had to admit shock when he saw that she also felt bad for the situation at hand. Mac and her got along well enough but they didn’t seem to spend time together one on one like the rest of the team did at times. Or so he had thought until now.

“You talked to Mac about his sleeping?” Bozer asked his own face creased in confusion.

“Well yea, at first I thought he was getting up early and working on the bike of his. But it seemed like his bedtime was growing later too. I think he was changing clothes and then just didn’t bother anymore.” She shrugged. “So I asked him and he said he had insomnia that flared every once in a while and he just had to let it pass. I- I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, I thought he might like me more if I kept his secret. I wouldn’t have if I’d-“ she cut off then and both Riley and Bozer rushed to reassure her while Jack exchanged a glance to Matty. 

“You don’t think Mac likes you?” Jack double checked with bafflement, the others getting similar looks on their face as they studied the newest member of their team. To her credit she straightened and cleared her throat.

“Maybe that’s not the right word? He’s never anything but nice and polite, I’m just not sure we’re really connecting like he is with the rest of you.” She waved her hands helplessly. “I didn’t know if he felt like I was encroaching on his space with Bozer.” She finished lamely.

“Leanne, Mac knew who you were before I even told him!” Bozer chimed in. “He figured it out because he liked you, he said we complemented each other.

“Friends aren’t something that Mac makes easily.” Riley added. “It’s more likely that he thinks you don’t care for him than he doesn’t care for you. We had that problem when I first joined.”

“You did?” Jack and Bozer said together, they hadn’t any idea that their two friends had been anything but friends from the minute Mac had bailed her out of jail on the word of Jack and a short conversation with her.

“Yes and that’s all you need to know.” She said with a note of finality. Bozer backed down immediately. Jack considered pushing it but decided he’d drag it out of his partner later, after they got him much needed sleep. And probably food, he tended to stop eating when he stopped sleeping and lord knew the boy couldn’t afford to lose anymore weight. The doctors in Phoenix were already concerned with how slight he was but he always passed his physicals so there wasn’t much they could say.

“Are we going to stand here and discuss how blind we all are or are we going to do something about it?” Matty finally spoke with a sharp voice, though they all knew it was directed at the situation and not any of them in particular.

“Any ideas how long this has been going on Leanne?” Jack asked getting straight to the point.

“At least a month from what I know, I get up early to run and he’s always awake.” She said after a moment of thought. That was all they needed.

“Ok direct approach won’t work, he’s going to be way too tired for that.” Jack said as the other two jumped into action themselves.

“We’ll go ahead of you and get foods and rooms prepared. Your place or ours?” Bozer asked.

“Mine, easier to keep him in one place.” Jack said turning for the door.

“You act like he’s a toddler.” Leanne couldn’t help but point out.

“MacGyver on no sleep is the equivalent of the terrible twos.” Jack paused to say.” I figure it’s partially because he’s trying to scare anyone away that thinks they might care and partially because he holds himself so rigidly the rest of the time. When he’s sick or tired he doesn’t have the strength for emotional blocks. You good?” He asked Bozer and Riley who gave him affirmative answers. “Ok I’m off to get him, we’ll see you at my place in hopefully under an hour.”

He left then, only raising a hand to acknowledge Matty when she said not to bring Mac back until the following week, they had plenty of time saved up and no mission in sight. He made his way through the building nodding to people as he passed and weaved his way down the hall. He decided to take the stairs down to the bottom floor to give Bozer and Riley more time to get things together, plus the tireder that his young friend was, the easier it would be to coax him to his apartment.

All too soon Jack was approaching the glass door to Mac’s private lab. Peering in, he could see the blond slumped over his table, Swiss Army knife in one hand and a small piece of metal in the other. Jack watched for a moment, the kid was clearly uneasy. His face was screwed up and he mumbled. It wasn’t until he began to thrash that jack decided he needed to step in. Pulling the door open and going into the room he watched as the kid stiffened.

“Jack!” He cried suddenly and sat up straight and tense, he could only see the kid from the side but it seemed like his blue eyes were staring unseeing directly in front of him, so he knew he wasn’t calling to him because he’d seen him coming. Breaking into a run he made it to his friends side in moments and gently removed the knife and other things from his hands. He flipped the blade closed and put the beloved knife in his pocket for safe keeping. 

Looking up Jack realized he had Mac’s attention now. The kid was sitting on the stool staring at him and for the first time under the harsh lights above them, he could see the deep dark circles under the kids eyes and the hollowness in his cheeks that confirmed he had been skipping meals again; right in front of all of them. There was a moment of silence as he tried to think of what to say , so he didn’t upset his friend but to get him moving towards a bed. For himself, Mac just stared blankly at the older man with large watery blue eyes, looking far younger than the late twenties that he actually was. The ex delta furrowed his brow and tilted his head in concern.

“Mac…?” He started and that seemed to be all it took to break the spell. Suddenly Jack had his arms full of sobbing genius. The long fingers he so admired were knuckle white as he tangled them into his t shirt and held on like he was afraid he would disappear if he let go. “Shh it’s ok kid, I’m here.” He whispered immediately wrapping his arms around his partner and folding him into a tight hug. 

The body in his arms shook violently and he began to wonder if he would need to call someone to sedate him and calm him down but Mac finally seemed to get control and took a deep gasping breath. Jack noticed his chest was wet where his partners tears soaked through but he ignored it in favor of running a hand through the blond locks in front of him. It was a sure fire way to soothe his young friend andaure enough he relaxed a bit; even his fingers though he didn’t release his grasp on Jack. That was fine with the older man, who wasn’t nearly ready to let his young friend to after this display. They’d seen each other through many emotional moments but never had Mac called for him in such a broken way and he cursed himself for not seeing things sooner.

When the body finally stopped shaking and the cries slowed, Jack steeled himself, intent on getting answers without a fuss. Apparently though, that wouldn’t be necessary because his partners voice broke the silence moments later.

“I can’t get it out of my head.” His voice was gruff and Jack knew he would need to get some water in him sooner rather than later.

“What’s that brother?” Jack asked gently.

“Shooting you.” He closed his eyes and dropped his head. Of course, he should have known that whole thing would come back and bite them in the ass. Mac had played it so chill, after they’d had Matty come and collect Griggs the two of them had finished their trip. But Mac was against guns, didn’t use them and didn’t want too. Jack never thought how traumatizing it would be to have to point one to your best friend and pretend to put a bullet in them. The tears he’d seen on his friends face had been real, he couldn’t even pretend to kill his best friend and Jack should have known, should have seen it coming.

“Sorry kid, I should have known this was coming.” It had to have been him that fake died, it was the only way it would have worked but that didn’t mean that Jack didn’t wish things could be different, that he could have done it instead. It wouldn’t have been any easier for him to shoot Mac, he would definitely have nightmares too but he would deal. His kid had enough garbage in his life to deal with, he wished this wasn’t one more.

“S’not your fault.” His voice was soft and distant and Jack knew he was headed for sleep again, he’d be more pliable so it was time to go.

“Debatable bud but not a conversation for now. What’s say we go to my place and have a Bruce Willis marathon.”

“Hmm Kay.” He kid bless him tried to start walking, still attached to Jack. The man chuckled and moved so they were side by side, keeping one arm around his friend to guide him as he used the other to shut off the light as the passed and grab Mac’s jacket by the door. 

Getting him into his jacket, he ushered the sleepy agent down the hall and towards the elevator. Within moments they were at the parking garage and he was coaxing him towards his car and away from his Jeep, making a mental note to have it picked up by Bozer later, he successfully got the blond kid into the front seat of his car and strapped in. His eyes drooped as the drove down the floors and finally passed the security guard who gave them both a hearty wave. He was still fighting sleep when they pulled into the road so Jack reached over and took on limp hand in his own, squeezing gently and smiling when they squeezed back faintly.

“Go to sleep kid, I gotcha.” Within moments Mac did just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this right after the episode “Mac + Fallout + Jack”. Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	37. Imagination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac’s in a bad mood and snaps a little. Really where do people think he’d be if he didn’t have imagination? Also Bigfoot discussed.

It was amazing to MacGyver the amount of times people assumed his beliefs based on the fact he was a scientist. When he’d first met Jack and they’d become close the man had been flabbergasted to discover that Mac believed in Santa. Now of course he knew at his age there wasn’t actually a man flying the world and bringing presents but it was possible to do it and he’d actually sat down in the middle of the desert once and done the math right in front of his partner. At the end of it he’d left with a thoroughly confused Jack whose only take away was that his genius best friend believed in Santa. Given the man believed in the Lochness monster (secretly Mac thought he might be right about that one too), he didn’t understand why it was such a big deal.

When Riley and he had been to Area 51, he had been able to read the absolute shock in his friends face when he told her he believed in aliens. He wondered where he had come off so closed minded, given his entire job was done one improvisation at a time. He rarely had a plan and never a full plan. But somehow that seemed to equate in believing in nothing.

It wasn’t to say that Mac believed blindly. But it was crazy to think that Earth was the only planet of intelligent life. Not just crazy but rather arrogant. He considered himself Agnostic because he couldn’t prove that God existed but he couldn’t disprove it either and there were a lot of things in the world that even he couldn’t find an explanation for. Miracles had to come from somewhere. The blond agent never let it get to him, these assumptions. He just smiled and patiently explained, though he knew that more often than not it never made sense to anyone, including his friends. He also didn’t realize how much it grated on his nerves until he’d been asked one to many times.

The mission had started well enough, Jack, Mac and Riley had been dropped in middle of the forest with intel that some large terrorist group was forming somewhere in their depths. Bozer and Matty chatted in their ears as they ducked out of the helicopter and ran to the edge of the clearing, watching it until it became a far speck in the distance. So far everything seemed according to plan as Mac pulled out the map and compass and Riley her computer. Between the two of them they got a search grid started and even found a secure knoll to leave Riley set up. She would use a drone to search by air while Mac and Jack searched on foot.

By the end of the day all three of them were irritable and in rather poor moods. It wasn’t the first time intel hadn’t been right but it wasn’t wrong either. They’d found an old abandoned farmhouse and a quick search told them someone had been there and cleared out quickly. Back at camp they’d gotten on the video line into Phoenix to try and decide their next moves. There wasn’t any stirrings that suggested the terrorists were aware of any police presence and they finally decided to try and search again. It was likely that they had simply switched locations to keep in their toes. They signed off for the night feeling a little bit better. Jack built a fire and had it crackling merrily in no time. They’d keep it lit while it was daylight and cut it out at night. Riley set about cooking lunch with Jack’s help and Mac poured over the maps they had, trying to see if he could narrow down their search in anyway. He heard Jack begin to talk and tuned in absently as he worked.

“I’m thinking we should bunk in the tree. Don’t want to make it easy for Bigfoot to eat us.” He was saying seriously while Riley rolled her eyes.

“Bigfoot? Really?” She shook out a portion of rice into the pot before throwing Jack a raised eyebrow.

“Yes Bigfoot and territory like this is right up their alley. There could be a whole family; Harry and the Hendersons style.

“You use Harry and the Hendersons as an example and then say they’re going to eat you?” Riley said blankly.

“It’s Hollywood and a kids movie, clearly they can’t actually eat anyone in a kids movie!” He argued, Riley shook her head and tilted her head to the blond agent still bent over the maps nearby.

“Would you like to add to this perfectly charming conversation, Mac?” RIley finally asked as she went back to the food she was making. Absently Mac did just that.

“This is probably an ideal place for them to live but no Jack I don’t think they’ll eat you. It’s believed they are like apes so unless you plan to attack I think you’ll be fine.” He said automatically falling into the lecture tone he took when he was seriously explaining something. The clearing fell silent but he hardly noticed as then pencil he was using snapped and he huffed in irritation.

“Wait you believe in Aliens and Bigfoot?” Riley’s voice interrupted his train of thought and he looked up at then. She was studying him over the fire with blatant surprise while Jack crowed gloatingly.

“Santa too, don’t forget Santa!” Jack said rubbing his hands together, clearly delighted that he had won the conversation. As normal he ignored the admonishment he’d been given, choosing to look at it all as a win.

Mac wasn’t sure what it was that set him off. It could have been Riley’s blatant disbelief despite the conversation they’d had right outside Area 51, it could have been the teasing voice that Jack used when he mentioned Santa Claus though Mac had explained it to him more than once. It even could have been his frustration at them mission and now broken pencil. Whatever the cause, he was suddenly on his feet and the equipment on the ground. The other two fell silent watching him startled. He felt anger burn in his chest and belly in a way it hadn’t in many years, st least since he’d become friend with Jack.

“What exactly is it about me that leads everyone to believe I’m so blissfully closed minded?” He raged as his audiences eyes grew wider. “Yes Santa could be real in theory, do I honestly believe some old man is doing it? Of course not! There is a spirit around Christmas usually and I would call that Santa!” He took a breath and continued. “Aliens? Yes absolutely and anyone who says they don’t exist has to be the most arrogant, insufferable person in existence. To believe there is an entire universe unexplored out there and we’re the only intelligent life? Now that doesn’t make sense. And yes Bigfoot could be real too, an ape creature that lives in the woods. Do you know how many acres and acres that have gone unexplored?!”

Mac’s anger was growing and he was running out of anything constructive to say. Instead he turned on his heel and marched out of the camp before he said something he didn’t mean. For several minutes he stomped, not particularly caring if he was heard or found as he let the anger wash over him and leak out until he was left feeling worn out and a little bit guilty. He finally slowed to a stop and closed his eyes, taking a breath and tilting his head back. He mused over his fit and felt his stomach drop the more he obsessed.

“Stop that!” A familiar voice said, Mac wasn’t surprised to hear it. Though he’d thrown a tantrum worthy of a toddler, Jack would never consider leaving him in his own, especially out in the middle of no where. He tilted his head and opened one eye to watch the man stride toward him and gently take his shoulders in his hands and shake him. “Ah ah I said stop it!”

“Stop what, Jack?” He finally asked though instead of exasperated he just sounded weary. The man's eyes rover over him automatically searching for any sign of an injury that Mac might have tried to hide from him. With a sigh the blond let him do it. When he seemed satisfied he looked up and met Mac’s eyes again.

“Beating yourself up for being human.” He finally said when he found what he was looking for. Mac’s lips twisted sardonically and he tried to twist out of the mans grasp without any luck.

“There was no reason to bite Riley’s head off.” He sighed stopping his struggle and looking at his best friend mullishly.

“Maybe, maybe not. She seems to think it was well deserved.” His voice was gentle. “I guess you had a talk in Area 51 and she missed a point she shouldn’t have.”

Mac relaxed almost going boneless and sighed. “I don’t know where scientists got the label of being closed minded. To be closed minded doesn’t make a very good one. You have to think outside of the box to know how anything works. Every single thing humankind has built in this world come from somewhere. It didn’t just appear, someone had imagination and thought it up. If we can think up cars and portable phones and...weapons why can’t we admit there might be things we don’t understand in the world.” He guessed he hadn’t been as over it as he tried to tell Jack but as he finished speaking it felt like a weight fell off of him and he felt a little better.

“You’re right kid.” Jack mumbled and rubbed his hands down his arms soothingly. “Watching you work everyday should be enough to know that Thinking outside of the box is your state of being.” Mac couldn’t help the small chuckle escape nor Jack’s victorious grin. “Better. Are you ready to go back and have some grub?”

“Yea, before your Bigfoot eats it.” He watched as Jacks face went playfully gruff as they started their way back to camp.

“If they even try, I’ll take them down.” He said. “No one touches Jack Dalton’s food.” Mac chuckled again and shook his head as they trudged closer to camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	38. Give

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac gives too much of himself sometimes. I was in a mood and wanted Mac whomp lol.

A sneeze came upon Mac, almost before he had time to recognize what it was. Silently thanking his lucky stars that he was home alone for the moment, he allowed the fit to wash over him, hunching over as they ripped through him. When they finally ended, the blond wearily plucked a tissue from the nearby box and carefully blew his nose before crumpling it and shoving it deep in his pocket. There was a lot going in within the next several weeks and that didn’t include any possible missions that might crop up. Billy had been offered a job at the Phoenix. The man had understood that to have a relationship with Riley, he’d have to be the one to give in and move. It had been an easy decision, what had been surprising was when he’d gotten Mama Colton’s blessing. At least for him, Mac had secretly believed it wouldn’t be a problem, she was a woman who cared about and wanted the best for her children. With Riley he got a great companion and the added perk of a good job.

That meant that the man was moving to town and they had decided to get a place together. The team had been asked to help with all aspects of the move. Mac, who had been assisting at Phoenix as a bomb expert, had remained in town with Riley to get the apartment ready and help get her things moved in. Billy along with Bozer, Leanne and a thrilled Jack had gone along to get his things and drive them back. The older man liked Billy well enough, a fact that had relieved Riley more then anyone besides Mac, who she’d confided in, would believe. The two had bonded over sports as well as their one time as partner bounty hunters. Mac had been feeling s little sorry for himself that the man had been scarce since Billy had come around and hadn’t even put up a token protest when Matty had regretfully informed the blond that she needed him home. Bozer had tried to tamper his excitement but they all liked the Colton’s and being able to see them when not fighting over a mark was something they were looking forward too.

Right after they got Billy and Riley moved in, they needed to start helping Bozer and Leanne move into their place. Something that Mac wasn’t thinking heavily on. He had known that eventually his friends would move on and he’d be alone, it’s what always happened. He had just hoped he had longer. The couple didn’t know but Mac had managed to get an advance set of keys and had begun to work on getting it better suited to living in. 

If he were being honest with himself he would know that it wasn’t any wonder he was becoming ill. In his effort to help his friends out and ignore the emotions he didn’t want to be having about their various activities, he’d been overworking himself again. Lack of sleep and focus led to missed meals, something he was terrible at remembering anyway and Jack hadn’t been on top of it as he usually was. He blinked heavy eyes and focused on getting the last piece of the new floor down. He could leave the apartment for the night. 

Squinting at his watch, Mac groaned and immediately regretted it as he felt a catch in his lungs and huddled over hacking. The cough was a dry bark but the thick movement in his lungs told him that wouldn’t last for long. Sniffing and pinching the bridge of his nose he pushed away the general feeling of misery and finished up his work. He gave one last glance to his handiwork and satisfied cleared everything up and shut of the lights before locking up and jogging through the building and out onto the street. A wave of dizziness washed over him and he stumbled, shaking his head to clear the black dots from his eyes and search for his Jeep. Staggering over he got the door open and dragged himself into the seat; taking a moment to rest before starting it and pulling out of the parking lot. 

Thoughts of his bed were at the forefront of his mind when the familiar jungle of his phone started. He sighed wearily but pulled over and turned to Jeep off before answering the call. Marty’s name flashed across the screen, luckily he didn’t have to try hard to sound like he’d just woken up, he was exhausted.

“Matty?” He asked tiredly.

“Sorry to wake you Mac, but they found another bomb with an odd twist.” Her normally clipped voice was soft and apologetic. Mac wasn’t far from home so he gave his eta without any guilt. “Thank you Mac; once this mission is done we’ll get you a vacation too.” They signed off and he wanted to fall into hysterical laughter but managed to keep himself together as he turned on his Jeep and turned it around, heading back to the Phoenix.

The disarming took the morning and most of the afternoon. For the most part he was left to his own devices, speaking with the EOD techs across the world from him but now and then both Matty and Riley would pop in to check on him. Engrossed he hadn’t been good company and they’d both left moments after they had arrived.

“Good job kid.” The man he had been assisting all day said into his headset as the soldiers around him took apart the newly defused bomb to be sent back to Phoenix for him to look at more closely.

“You did the hard work Captain.” Mac said rebuffing the compliment automatically. “Try to get some sleep and hopefully we won’t talk to each other tomorrow.” The man chuckled, if they didn’t speak that meant they’d found all the bombs.

“It’s a shame because I like you a lot, but I have to say I share the same hope.” His voice dropped and sounded almost concerned. “You go get some sleep too, I may not be able to see you but I can hear you aren’t firing on all cylinders.”

“Don’t worry, bed is at the top of my list.” He said and they signed off one last time. In his defense, bed really was what he had planned when he’d walked out of the war room. But then Riley was bustling over to collect him so they could go work on the apartment.

“They must have let Jack Drive, they’re going to be here tonight.” She filled him in as they made their way out to the parking garage and separated to their cars. Mac made a show of being awake and completely focused until she had driven out of sight, then he let his head drop heavily on the steering wheel and rubbed his increasingly tight chest painfully. To make matters worse, he found when he swallowed a sharp pain started in his throat. His eyes burned and felt dry and he knew he must have some sort of temperature.

Bed called Mac’s name but he had made commitments and given he had thrown a fit and abandoned them all for the entire summer, he owed it to them all to help out without complaint. With that in mind, he started his Jeep and when he pulled out of the Phoenix lot, he turned left towards the city rather than right towards his home. When he finally arrived, Riley was already hard at work. They had gotten all of her stuff moved and cleared out her old apartment. Now it was a matter of getting the apartment set up some what to make it easier to bring Billy’s stuff in.

Mac spent the afternoon mechanically going through box after box and obediently placing items on shelves or cupboards or in some cases and fits of panic On Riley’s part. It really didn’t take them too long to make it manageable; at least until Billy was there to help finalize things. They were expected that evening still and Mac knew Jack would be wound up and would want to have a fire at the house and talk about the trip. So he couldn’t crash, or he’d never get up for that. With nothing left to do he made some excuse to Riley and got a promise that she would call him when the others arrived. Leaving the apartment he automatically made his way over to Bozers. He’d replaced all the wood and materials that had needed it, now everything needed a coat of paint. In retrospect, he should have known that the small amount of sleep he had gotten wasn’t enough to make painting interesting enough to stay awake for.

At one point he thought he heard a buzzing and grumbled swatting the air trying to rid himself of the irritating bug. He was dead tired, and while his bed wasn’t as comfortable as it normally was, he couldn’t bring himself to move. Though he was cold and shivering violently; she he pulled his jacket closer around him and willed himself back to sleep.

“Mac, Mac?!” It took a long moment for him to realize that the words weren’t a product of his dream but were happening in real life. He grimaced as he swallowed, it felt like razors running down his throat and every part of him aches, his eyes feeling like they were boiling in their sockets and he was still shivering.

It took longer for him to realize that he was being held and carried and that whoever it was was warm. Shuddering violently he tried to push close to whoever it was. He’d worry about consequences later.

“Jesus, he’s - burning up- Matty- Phoenix Medical…” the familiar voice was sharp with worry before it began barking out orders. He knew that voice:

“Jack.” He slurred and forced aching eyes open trying to meet the dark brown of his partners. His aching muscles loosened despite himself when he realized it was his partner holding him and looking down with an overly concerned expression.

“Don’t worry.” He tried thinking maybe he should stand so Jack didn’t have to carry him anymore. But the man was very stubborn, even going so far as to growl at him when he tried to stand. He gave and watched when Jack looked ready to speak.

“Don’t worry, he says.” He was muttering and in his confused state, Mac really wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear or not so decided he should listen just in case. He didn’t want the man to be upset with him when he had just gotten back. “I’m going to have to not listen to your judgment, ok kid? I know you like to help others but your going to give of yourself right into an early grave.” His voice was raising as he spoke and Mac flinched and tried to shy away. Of course, he’d just fucked up again.

His movement seemed to trigger something in Jack who finally stopped but tightened his hold on him, not allowing him to get down.

“No more road trips without you. You are stuck with me and Matty the Hun better get used to it. Honestly painting in a closed up apartment while with a high grade fever, only you Mac.” Mac screwed up his face miserably closing his aching eyes.

“Was trying to help.” He whined faintly something he never would have done if his brain was running on all cylinders and if it were anyone but Jack with him. “Make it..better.” He tried to explain but it was becoming more difficult to focus and while Jack was warm, he still felt very cold and shivered violently. There was silence for a moment and Mac tried to scan back to what he’d said and if it had been anything he shouldn’t say but he came up blank. His concern must have showed on his face because Jack sighed, the arm under Mac’s shoulders shifting so he could run his thumb soothingly along the back of his neck. 

“What were you trying to make better, Mac?” He asked sounding for all the world like a man who knew the answer to the question he was asking, but hoped he would be wrong anyway. The blond had started to doze off, with Jack around his mind felt safe enough to actually shut down. But at the question he jerked and forced his brain to focus and deliver an answer.

“I left, like…” He trailed off then but when his friend stiffened he knew the message had been received. But then he had to wonder if the man had tensed because he was upset that Mac was right.

Guilt had settled heavily in his belly ever since he’d quit Phoenix and fled the country. He’d been so upset and angry at the time that he hadn’t been able to stop and assess his actions, he just needed to get away from the hurt. But he’d missed Jack and the team terribly and the longer he’d been gone the more it felt unacceptable for him to return. He’d been no different than the man he had fled from, abandoning the only family he’d ever had. He was only getting what he deserved now, with everyone coupling off and moving away.

“What the hell kid?!” Jack’s voice broke in his feverish thoughts and he realized he’d been keeping up his stream of consciousness out loud. Not ideal but he hadn’t said anything that he didn’t believe was true so he didn’t bother to try and back peddle.

“S’true.” He slurred his eyes feeling to heavy to keep open. Maybe if he slept his head wouldn’t feel like it was melting off his body. “Jus’ waiting for you to go too.” His voice trailed off as he finally gave in to his body’s desires and slowly slipped into oblivion, he heard Jack speaking urgently from somewhere above him but he would just have to disappoint him again.

—

Mac was extremely uncomfortable. His body shivered from cold, but he felt overly warm and sluggishly tried to shift. He could hear voices around him but he couldn’t make much sense of it. Hands were on him and he bucked and squirmed at the unfamiliar touch. The hands remained however and he got the sensation of being moved. A wave of water crashed over him and he cried out as the cold hit his skin. He fought against the hands holding him down. It hurt and he couldn’t stop vibrating with shivers. He wouldn’t be able to escape himself.

“Jack!” He tried to call but it came out in a weak mumble. He persevered begging for his partner to help as he fought the hands pinning him under the stream of ice water. When he despaired the man ever coming he tried to apologize, and call for someone else. It wasn’t long before he wore himself out and collapsed listlessly shivering. His mind pushed to darkness again and he allowed it.

—-

When the blond agent came to consciousness again, he immediately felt more aware than he had since his friends had left to get Billy’s things. Remembering then that they were supposed to have returned and he still had work, he forced his still aching eyes open and sat up. The world spun and he clenched his hands in the blanket, slamming his eyes shut and ride through the sensation. After a couple of tense moments, everything settled and he slowly peeled his eyes open. Eyes getting used to the dimness in the room he realized he was in his own room. Puzzled, because he had been sure he’d been at Bozer’s new apartment, he nevertheless dragged himself out of bed and stumbled around pulling clothes on. He felt weak and achy as well as chilly so he pulled on and old hoodie he’d borrowed from Jack and never returned. It was old, worn and soft against his skin which was sensitive at the best of times. Of which this certainly wasn’t.

Blue eyes scanned the room for his phone but unable to locate it, he figured he’d left it somewhere about the house or Jeep. It was a little worrying he didn’t even remember the drive but pushed the uneasy feeling away. Leaving his room he made a quick pit stop in the bathroom and did his business, and washing his hands. One look in the mirror had him going back to his room to gather a towel and clean clothes. He knew he wasn’t up to a long shower, standing was tiring and he had to be able to do it when they were moving, so his shower was quick and precise, a call back from his time in the army.

Dressing slowly and pulling the hoodie back on, he cleared up his mess and stepped out of the bathroom. It was absolutely silent, so he figured he must be there alone. All the better to gather himself over a cup of coffee while found his phone. Walking down the hall, he felt out of breath and his the pain in his throat and tightness in his chest became more prominent and he decided that he would add orange juice to his list. His grandfather had always sworn by it so he’d never managed to kick the habit of having large glasses of it while he was sick. In the kitchen he started by getting the coffee going, knowing he needed it sooner rather than later, his body already flagging heavily from the simple task of showering. That done, he opened the refrigerator and poured the juice, taking a large gulp and relishing as it soothed his throat for a moment. Keeping the glass in hand, he turned and began to search for his phone. He’d been known to put it in odd places, when especially distracted or out of it, so he didn’t hesitate to kneel down on the floor and poke his heads into the cupboards.

While searching behind the dishes, he thought he heard the back door open and footsteps walk across the floor, but didn’t think anything of it. He moved on to the next cupboard when activity from the hallway had him jumping and nearly knocking over the glass of juice and sitting back on his heels.

A voice yelled just as the front door opened, and another voice chimed in. The second voice was Jack, so Mac was prepared to dismiss it until it registered what was being said.

“What happened?” Jack asked demandingly.

“I was just outside, i promise! I just came in to check on -“ A low growl broke of the voice that Mac finally recognized as Billy.

“Jack..” Riley’s voice broke in nervously.

“Riley!” The man said in a sterner voice then Mac had ever heard the man use with his pseudo daughter. He pulled his tired body off the floor, absently grabbing the glass of juice, and started to shuffle towards the commotion, growing concerned. “I gave specific instructions, I trusted him in my absence and he lost him!” Lost? Who had been lost? He heard Bozer whispering urgently to somebody. Hurrying his pace he rounded the corner and took in the scene.

Jack had Billy backed against the wall, Riley had a hand on Jacks arm but it seemed a halfhearted effort at best. Bozer had his back to them, talking rapidly in his phone and Leanne seemed to be looking in the bedroom. Really at a loss as to what was happening, Mac decided to try his hand at defusing the situation.

“Jack?” He winced at how rough his voice was and tried to clear it without triggering a coughing fit.

The man in question whirled around and clapped his eyes on him. Mac watched as tension drained from the man and in the blink of an eye he had crossed the room to the blond and scooped the baffled blond into his arms. After seven years he knew it was best just to let the man have his moment and anyway he enjoyed Jacks affection, he just didn’t know how to let himself enjoy it. Looking over the man's shoulder he shot a confused glance to the rest of the team who were all staring at him with varying amounts of relief. 

“Kid, my old heart can’t take to much more of this.” Jack said voice pitched low and anxious as he finally pulled back, hands in Mac’s shoulders and shaking him gently to punctuate the point. “You’re genius brain nearly melted yesterday, you need to be in bed.”

“Yesterday?” Mac said blankly and suddenly flashes of cold water and being held down flashed across his mind and he shuddered. This time other pieces came to mind, Jacks soothing voice in the background, familiar hand holding his own when the fight had finally gone out of him. So instead of helping, he’d been a hindrance and they’d had to take care of him. The hands shook him again, more urgently.

“Stop, stop your thoughts right there hoss. Come on, back to bed and finish your juice.” He reminded Mac who automatically took a drink even as he was guided down the hall past his other friends. He considered apologizing but another terse reminder to drink stopped him. 

Jack closed the door firmly behind them and gently pushed Mac over to his bed, taking the empty glass and pulling back the mussed covers waiting for him to climb in. Soon he was settled and went to reach for the covers, when instead Jack pulled them up and tucked them around him. The blond had to swallow around a lump forming in his throat as the man tucked him in. Then instead of leaving like Mac expected, he pulled up the recliner that he recognized as having come from the living room. Brown eyes met blue as the older man sat down.

“I’m not sure where to start, but I suppose it doesn’t matter because from experience I know one conversation won’t be enough to convince you so Ill just talk and you’ll listen.” The older mans voice was firm but not particularly angry or not at him, so it seemed. Nevertheless he felt the need to apologize for upsetting everyone and went to say so. “You’ll listen.” Jack stressed again to forestall him and he snapped his jaw closed with a click and stared. Feeling vulnerable lying on his back in such a situation, he pushed himself up on his elbows to lean back against the headboard. Mac couldn’t help but flinch back a bit when Jack reached towards him. The older man judged the flinch as a one off and ignored it in favor of helping him settle back against the headboard. 

“Look Mac, if anyone one of us were in the situation you are in with Oversight,” Mac appreciated the less formal naming of his father. “ we would have left too. You needed too, and kid you don’t often do things you should do for your own good. We were glad you left, but we were happier when you came back. But you don’t owe anyone of us anything. Especially at the expense of your health. Do you imagine that Bozer would want to live in the apartment you fixed up so nicely, had you asphyxiated in the living room?”

Mac grimaced as the point hit home a little more sharply than he would I’ve liked.

“We aren’t blameless, each one of us knew you were having a hard time and we should have been looking out.” The self revulsion in his friends voice, had him speaking anyway.

“It’s not-“

“Kid if you tell me it’s not my job, I’m going to get your head examined.” Jack said with fond exasperation. “We’re family; all of us but even if the others move on to other lives without us, which I don’t see, you and I will still be family. Families forever.” 

Mac stopped and sighed before shaking his head with a grin. Jack smiled back and patted his hand before helping him settle down on the bed, propped up enough to keep his clogged airways eased enough to breath.

“Sleep kid, I’ve got your six.” The deep voice rumbled, but he needn’t have bothered, the kid had been near sleep almost before his head hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	39. Kindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac has always shown kindness. Even to people he never met before.

Angus MacGyver stared at the bookshelf across his room. He barely breathed as he kept his eyes glued to it. In the shadowy dark he swore he saw movement, a scratching sound had him sitting up. He was sure now that something was in his room with him. For a moment he considered calling for his father but decided against it. The man had never been the warmest and after his mother had died, well Mac was lucky if the man was ever around at all. He didn’t want to rock the boat and give him another reason to go away. Heart thudding in his chest he slid off his bed and crawled his way over to the shelf. His eyes started to adjust just as he knocked heads with someone else.

“Ouch!” He hissed, his voice echoed by another, higher pitched voice. Pausing for a moment he tilted his head in confusion and squinted into the gloom, finally making out a shape not much bigger than himself. He moved forward again but the figure let out a small whimper and backed away. Mac felt some concern and held up his hands pacifyingly. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He lisped softly.

“Not scared!” The voice piped up, though their tone gave away their terror. He licked his lips considering before speaking again.

“My names Angus MacGyver, but everyone calls me Mac.” He offered, he could see the figure relax a little and waited patiently for them to speak.

“I’m Zion Baxter.. everyone calls me Baxter, I hate my name.” He giggled when he could hear the scowl in her voice.

“I hate the name Angus.” Mac confided in her. 

“I’m changing mine when I grow up.” Baxter announced. “You should too!”

“I can’t. My mommy picked it, and she’s in Heaven with my grandma. I wanna keep it so I can remember her.” He explained sadly. The thought of his mother made him frown and sniffle. No one wanted to talk about her and secretly he was afraid to forget her because of it. His father got angry when she was mentioned and his grandfather always changed the subject. He didn’t realize tears were slipping down his face until he was pulled from his thoughts by small arms hesitantly wrapping around him. It was the first real human contact he’d had in a long time and he couldn’t help but hug her in return. The dam inside opened and he sobbed quietly into her shoulder. She did nothing more than tighten her hold and let him be sad. 

“I’m sorry.” He finally said when he managed to pull himself together and sit back.

“Don’t be sad for your feelings. Especially missing your mom.” Her voice had an odd note to it though he found it soothing and he grinned.

“Thanks.” He said and he felt more than saw her nod her head in response. “So, how'd you get in my room?” He asked puzzled. His door and window hadn’t opened but somehow she was there anyway. There was a moment of hesitation.

“I was sitting in my book shelf and the back opened up. It’s never done that before so I climbed through.” She finally said. He sensed there was more she wasn’t saying but didn’t press the issue.

“Wanna play a game?” He finally asked. It was late but sleep had always been difficult for him and it had only grown worse since he’d lost his mother. Having company would be amazing, he only hoped she agreed to stay. He needn’t have worried.

“Yea! What game?” She asked keeping her voice low, which he appreciated.

“Just a second.” He crawled over to his door and pulled the towels hanging off of the back of it down and lay them across the bottom of the door to cover the crack. He did it nearly every night so he felt confident standing and going over to his bedside stand to turn on the light. He warned Baxter to close her eyes and turned it on, blinking rapidly before glancing over to where she still sat.

The girl was about his age and they seemed to about the same height. Where he had short blond hair, she had long black hair that fell about her face and shoulders nearly covering dark brown eyes that were peering at him with curiosity. He smiled encouragingly at her and waved, she waved back shyly and he turned to the corner of his room where another of his shelves sat. This one was mostly filled with projects and experiments but the bottom shelf had a small collection of games. Studying them he pulled out Candy Land and Checkers, carrying them over to his new friend. He sat down and held them up for her to see.

“Want to play both?” She asked clearly pleased with his options.

“Ok!” He agreed eagerly.

They decided on Candy Land and set up the board before beginning. Mac hardly noticed the time pass as they played, giggling and teasing each other. Baxter won each game of candy land but the blond boy was victorious at Checkers. They probably would have continued through the night if they hadn’t heard a thump and his fathers voice call his name. They stared at each other before jumping into action. She cleared one game and he the other before stuffing it on the shelf. Baxter made a beeline for the bookshelf but Mac grasped her hand before she could go too far.

“Will you come back?” He asked worrying his lip between his teeth. She smiled at him and squeezed his hand gently.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She whispered before taking her hand back and disappearing in the shadow of the bottom shelf. He heard another thump and ran for his bed, turning the light off as he climbed into it and rolled himself into the blankets. At the last moment he remembered the towels on the floor but the door handle was turning. He closed his eyes and forced his breathing to become slow and heavy. The door opened with some trouble, he heard his father sigh angrily when he found the towels and it took everything he had not to react. It seemed to work though because moments later the door closed and footsteps walked back down the hall. Mac opened his eyes, normally when his father left without coming in like his mother had done when she checked on him in the night. Though he knew his father had only checked because he had probably heard them and woken. His mother had checked because she knew that he didn’t sleep and often came into help coax him to sleep. This time the blond boy couldn’t be too upset, no his father didn’t come in but he was used to that. Having a new friend made it easier, he found himself looking forward to the following night. Making a note to try and wheedle his way into visiting his grandfather so the man could teach him some card games.

___

Mac never had to ask to be allowed over to his grandfathers. When he woke, his father had been short and grumpy as he told him to get ready to go over. The boy had been a bit afraid the man was going to leave him there again and this time he was more upset that he wouldn’t see his new friend than his father not being around. The tension grew between them everyday and he almost would prefer that he left then have to deal with it. The day had been fun, it was raining so his grandfather had been more than happy to teach him to play cards.

To the boys surprise, his father re-appeared just after dinner and silently ushered the boy out to his truck after he had hugged his grandfather tight. The silence was deafening and he fidgeted nervously with a paper clip he had tucked in his pocket until an irritated sigh had his hands stilling and him staring out the window anxiously.

“Get ready for bed.” The man said gruffly as they excited the vehicle and went up the porch.

“Yessir.” He mumbled and shuffled to the left of the door and went up the stairs.

Going into the bathroom he brushed his teeth, absently setting the timer his mother had bought for him to make sure he brushed long enough, since he had the tendency to get distracted and move off to other things midway through. When it beeped he shut it off and rinsed the brush off before neatly putting it away and trotting down to his room. He closed the door and immediately tossed the towels down on the floor. He’d heard the door to the basement close and knew his father would likely be down there for the night. He never tucked him in anyway and he wasn’t likely to hear then from two floors down. Especially not while working.

Mac pulled a deck of cards, given to him by his grandfather, onto the bed and quickly changed into his pajamas. Left with nothing else to do, he pulled out another paperclip and began to twist it into shape while pacing around his room, now that the time had come he began to worry she wouldn’t come back or couldn’t come back. When he’d checked out the bottom shelf himself, he hadn’t been able to pass through it. To every appearance it was solid wood. He’d began to question if he’d made the whole thing up, but it had seemed so real. As it grew later he began to give up, a familiar scratching noise sounded and he whirled around, half finished sculpture forgotten in his hand. After a moment Baxter appeared, looking around before catching sight of him and beaming.

“I was afraid it wouldn’t work.” She said as came the rest of the way in and stood up. Overcome the blond boy hugged her. She wound her arms around him in return. 

“Me too.” He finally said pulling back and giving her space. 

“Oh what’s that?” He looked to where she pointed and realized it was the paperclip sculpture he had been working on. He offered it to her and she took it gently studying it with such awe that he found himself blushing.

“It’s a book! Right?” She asked brown eyes meeting his own and all he could do was nod, impressed since to him it looked nothing like the object yet. “Could you teach me?”

Eagerly he agreed and skipped over to his desk to grab the entire box before inviting her to sit on the bed next to him. Pulling two out, he passed one over to her and showed her how he started by unbending it completely before molding it into shapes. They started simple, a square, circle and triangle. Baxter was patient and persistent and by the time Mac found he could hardly keep his eyes open, she was making each shape rapidly and nearly as well as he did.

“Can I come back tomorrow?” She asked bringing him back to the present and he smiled sleepily as he nodded in agreement.

“Please do! I can show you more if you want?” He asked nervously wondering if she had grown bored but she immediately agreed and they made plans for her to come through the same time the following day.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and the two of them grew closer. They spent evenings showing off the paperclip art they had made before creating even new and better things. Slowly they opened up to each other and found they had a lot in common in the way of poor family lives. He found out that his instincts the first night had been spot on, Baxter had been hiding in her bookshelf wishing she could be anywhere else as her father and mother yelled and rampaged in their house. He explained his mother’s death and his fathers absence even when he was present.

The next time Mac’s father decided to take off, the blond child threw a huge fit until the disgruntled adult tossed his bookshelf into his truck and brought both to his grandfathers. Angry he had set it down on the lawn and left it and his son standing there as he drove off without a look back. The hurt that the blond boy usually felt was muted though, secure that he at least had his best friend with him. His grandfather had come out then without a word and helped him move the shelf into his bedroom there. Baxter’s face when she’d come through that evening had been comical but they’d both been relieved that the magic of the bookshelf didn’t seem to be dependent on location.

Years slipped by, and he slowly learned that yelling wasn’t the only thing her family did when she appeared with bruising and injuries that she couldn’t bring herself to explain. He never pushed, never questioned just helped take care of the wounds and coaxed her into sculpting to take her mind off of it. They became each other’s comfort and confident. She helped him open up more and he made another friend at school, Wilt Bozer. Between the two and his grandpa, he felt less lonely.

The day Mac turned ten, he woke with a feeling that something was going to be different. He had himself convinced, believed that his father was coming home and to stay. Bozer and his family came early to help set up and decorate. He bounced around excitedly and had them all chuckling, so out of character for him. The only damper on the day was the fact that he and Baxter had decided it would be best if she didn’t come, though they had their own plans for later after everyone was gone. Guests began to show up, a couple of friends that he had made because of a Bozers ability to ease the way. There were water balloons and other activities before cake and ice cream and of course presents. He kept an eye out for the back door, waiting for his father to appear though he never grew discouraged and enjoyed his entire party. 

As Mac and Bozer waved to their last friend as he left, they turned to see his grandpa and his friends parents studying them with grim expressions. For the first time all day, the blond didn’t feel confident and when his grandfather beckoned him into his study, he knew that the change he had been expecting was coming, and it wasn’t a change he wanted. He shot his best friend a look before following his grandfather into the room. The door shutting seemed to echo with an air of finality. The child stood in front of his grandpa who had sat down in one of the cushy chairs he kept in the room and placed his hands on his shoulders. He stared at a point beyond the man’s shoulders as his world crashed down around him. His father was gone and never coming back, his grandfather thought it would be best if he went to stay with Bozer. He was losing his entire family, on his birthday. The blond boy decided then and there that his birthday wasn’t worth celebrating anymore. 

The man’s voice grew distant, he hardly heard him anymore. It was like he was standing outside his body and looking in as he was ushered from the room to the front door where Bozer and his parents waited, his packed bag already in Wilt Sr hand. His friends mother fussed over him, smoothing his hair and giving him a gentle hug but all he could do was stare at his feet. He could feel everyone’s stares but he was too tired and upset to care. When they finally turned to walk out the door, he followed without looking back. In the car his friend tried valiantly to pull him into a conversation but Mac still felt disconnected and stared blankly out of the window. Finally Mrs. Bozer took pity on him and kindly suggested to her son that his friend might need some time to think things through. He startled for a moment when a hand slipped into his own, he stared down blankly at Bozers hand clenching his own and willed himself to squeeze back. To his surprise it worked and they remained that way all the way to his friends house and up the stairs to the room they would share from now on. Another moment of guilt struck him. His life had been one upheaval after another since his mother had passed but now Bozer had been dragged into it as well. He doubted anyone had even bothered to ask the boy how he felt about basically gaining a new brother and roommate all in one swoop. But he supposed from the boys excited albeit idle chatter from somewhere nearby, that he was ok with it. Despite not being asked.

Days slipped past and Mac stumbled dazedly through them. It took time but soon his friend had managed to coax him into talking to him at least, though he didn’t say much. He was a solid presence that grounded the blond child. Slowly he came back to himself again, eating without a fight, picking his grades back up in school and making his little paperclip art once more. The day that he and Bozer were caught in the school because of an experiment he wanted to try, Mrs. Bozer had cried and they hadn’t gotten into any trouble. It was one night not long after that that his bookshelf friend came back to his mind. Horror ripped st him as he realized it had been months, his bookshelf still sitting in his old room at his grandfathers. Anxiously he had approached his new caregivers and asked if he could stay with the man for the weekend. The adults had all been thrilled that he had asked for something that they agreed immediately. He hadn’t really seen or spoken to his grandfather since his birthday and a rush of longing engulfed him when the man came to pick him up. He hadn’t been able to help but launch himself at the man who hAd caught him easily and hugged him tight before setting him down and leading him to his Jeep. 

The day had been spent with the two of them catching up, the man had even brought him fishing. Mac had nearly forgotten the whole reason he had asked to go over in the first place, until he had headed up to his room for the night. Spotting his bookshelf, he shut the door quietly but quickly and went over to it. He’d never been able to go through to Baxter’s side but he hoped maybe she would hear him and come out.

“Baxter, are you there?” He called into the bottom shelf feeling a bit foolish but committed to trying to talk to his friend. “I’m sorry I’ve been missing, a lots happened.” He added. No one answered, and no one came through. He spent most of the night sitting beside the shelf and waiting for his friend, but when he woke the next morning, laying in front of it, nothing had changed. A small part of him wondered if he had made the whole thing up. But that was impossible! She had been there, every night for months.

Disappointed but not discouraged, Mac got up from his place on the floor and set about dressing for the day. There was nothing he could do until the evening and his time with his grandfather yesterday reminded him how much he had missed the man, so he wanted to spend as much time with him as he could before he was shuffled off again. Downstairs the older man greeted him with a stack of pancakes which they both demolished as they planned out the rest of their day. 

By the end of the weekend his friend never showed up and the seed of doubt was planted firmly in the back of his mind. THere wasn’t room to bring the bookshelf with him to Bozer’s and anyway he wasn’t sure he wanted to share the secret, especailly when he was beginning to wonder if he had made the whole thing up in some sort of pathetic attempt to cope with the mess his life had become. As time inched along, the memories he’d shared with the mysterious girl faded and slipped to the back of his mind. THough the feeling of one more person leaving him behind never really went away, though he wasn’t able to pinpoint exactly where such a feeling came from.

____

Mac kicked his front door closed and stalked down the hall to his bedroom. Jack was gone, just gone and he hadn’t wanted him to fight to stay with him. Anger burned deed inside his belly, but he was aware enough to know that the sensation was a cover up for the hurt and loss he felt at losing the man that had come to mean so much to him. When he’d met Jack, he’d been angry and distant refusing to allow anyone else in after loosing his grandfather and Pena in such quick succession. Yet somehow the brash loudmouthed Texan had wormed his way into his heart and life and slowly the blond hadn’t been able to imagine life without him. A dangerous thing but Jack had promised it was the two of them against the world, and the man had never lied to him so he had allowed himself to believe. Part of him wished he could go back and rebuff the man’s offer of friendship, to save the pain now. But he never would actually do it, he couldn’t regret the large part of his life that Jack had filled, even if he had left him behind.

SIghing as he closed the door to his room, he glanced around with disinterest before moving over and collapsing on his bed. It was still early in the evening so sleep wasn’t likely to come but he found he didn’t have the strength to do anything but lay and wallow in his misery. Bozer was off keeping Riley company, but Mac had chosen to leave. Had slipped out before anyone could stop him, he wouldn’t be good company and he wouldn’t be able to assure the woman of anything. Rather than bring her mood down further, he decided it would be best to deal on his own. His phone hadn’t buzzed so they either hadn’t noticed he was missing yet or had decided that he needed time to himself. Either way was fine with him, he wasn’t sure he would be ready for any sort of interaction for a long time coming. THough work would call and he had promised his partner that he would continue on as before. Despite his mind racing and the emotions whirling through him, his earlier assessment of being able to fall asleep seemed to be false. Quite without his permission his eyes grew heavy and he let them close. At least if he was sleeping he didn’t have to face the emptiness left in his heart and his life.

Mac became aware and blinked sleepily, eyes adjusting to the gloom in his room. He tried to figure out what had woken him, when he heard a scratching noise that picked deep in his memories. SItting up slowly he peered around trying to find the source of the noise. His eyes caught the shadowed figure of his bookshelf. The one he’d had for as long as he could remember, given to him by his mother. The scratching noise came again as his eyes automatically fell to the bottom shelf and his heart pounded as the image of a small girl with stringy black hair and angry brown eyes drifted into his mind. Memories came flooding back of this person he had played with for many nights after he’d lost his mother and he found himself scrambling to the edge of the bed almost in disbelief. He had been so convinced he’d made it up but slowly a shape began to form and pull itself out from the bottom shelf, with mroe difficulty than last time given they were much bigger. He heard a grunt as they seemed to finally come completely through.

“Baxter?” The name fell from his lips easily and he heard a sharp intake of breath before a voice responded.

“Mac?” The voice seemed to edge on hysterical. “Am I losing my mind?” He wasn’t sure that she was actually looking for an answer but he provided one anyway.

“Only if I am too.” He reached behind him. “Eyes closed.” He warned, the same sentence echoing from years past as he flicked the lamp on. 

Turning slowly he studied the woman, his age, who sat on his bedroom floor. Surprisingly she didn’t look much different. The same long black hair and deep brown eyes, though now she had a pair of dark rimmed glasses on and a stern expression of someone who’d seen a lot more than anyone person should. He imagined his face probably showed the same. Her intelligent eyes seemed to finally adjust and flickered over to meet his own blue ones before running up and down to take him in.

“You look the same.” She said bluntly and he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.

“I was thinking the same about you.” He finally managed to say when he saw her raised eyebrow. Her passiveness faded and her features warmed as a laugh fell from her lips to join his own. They sat for a long moment after that, lost in thier own thoughts as they stared at the childhood friend they had each thought they’d made up. Then it was like the dam broke and they were speaking at once, apologies and explanations tumbling from their lips before they both dropped off and fell into laughter once more.

“I didn’t mean to abandon you.” Mac finally said and she fell silent to let him speak. “My father left that day and I just kind of lost touch. For a long time. The bookshelf stayed at my- at my grandfathers and I was staying with Bozer.” He felt riddiculous, would she even remember who all these people were? To his surprise a hand reached out and enveloped his own, squeezing gently. He looked back up at her and saw nothing but sympathy and perhaps some commiseration. 

“I knew something must have happened, I’m sorry it was that. On your birthday too.” Her voice grew sharp and eyes angry. “ When I tried to come through the bookshelf didn’t open like it normally did. I thought I’d made everything up, until tonight…” She trailed off distantly thumb absently stroking the back of his hand.

“What happened tonight?” He asked curiously, studying the shelf behind her. What would have caused it to work after nearly twenty years.

‘I’m not sure.” She said honestly. “ I was sitting at my desk writing up my latest draft and I heard a voice..your voice coming from the bookshelf. I never was able to get rid of it, despite thinking it was my imagination. I see you weren’t any different.” She grinned when he nodded his head in agreement.

“You’ve always been one of my best friends.” he said quietly.

“Same to you.” It was a surprise to hear her admit that, he remembered her being rather closed off and reserved. “ But i sat on the floor to study the shelf and nothing else happened. But I couldn’t seem to stop poking around and then...then it opened again and I couldn’t help but come through. I’m glad its you and not some stranger I’m bursting in on. Once was enough for any lifetime.” She smirked and he shook his head with a chuckle.

“Can I offer you some coffee?” He finally asked. “We don’t have to hide out in my room anymore.” He stood and offered her his hand, helping her to her feet when she accepted it. 

“Caffeine would be amazing.” She agreed and followed hiim out of his room and down the hall towards the kitchen. He watched her from the corner of his eye as she studied his house, he noticed her interest and approval especially when she caught sight of all his little experiments and projects taht littered the house. “Glad to see things haven’t changed much.” She said catching his look and winking.

Moving into the kitchen he motioned for her to sit at the bar and moved around to start up the coffee. When it began to percolate he sat down beside her and grinned when he saw her twisting a paperclip in her hand. He picked on up himself and started his own sculpture.

“Guess i’m not the only one who hasn’t changed much.” Mac said nodding to her hand, she chuckled as she continued her work.

“Definitely the best skill I’ve ever learned, though no one could ever figure out where i picked it up from.” She seemed particularly proud of this fact. “But whats going on? I’m here for a reason and I’d wager it has to do with how upset you sounded before I came through and how upset you look now.” SHe said knowingly and he couldn’t hide his shock.

“I look sad?” He said anxiously, he’d have to work on that.  
“Only to someone looking for it and who knows you. You get a particular look on your face, I call it your emotion constipation face. You don’t want to feel the way you feel so you try to push it away. Adorable but not so effective.” Baxter teased as she dropped the finished piece of art on the table.

“Cardinal, nice.” Mac praised as he tried to gather his thoughts. He stared at her for a long time, as his fingers absently danced over the thin piece of metal between them. He felt the urge to talk with her, tell her all about what was going on but he hadn’t seen her since they were children. He had no idea who she was anymore, could he really trust her. SHe seemed to understand that he was looking for something so she stared back steadily and passively. Something told him it was ok and he found himself releasing everything that had happened since they’d last seen each other right up to that evening when Jack had left him. She remained a silent comforting presence as he spoke, and by the time he finished he felt much lighter and better than he had in years.

“I’ve never liked your father.” She finally groused with a scowl and an eye roll. “He better hope I never meet him, I’m liable to make him disappear for good.” He let out a startled laugh but he knew she was serious and he appreciated it. “ As for your partner, it seems to me he isn’t gone for good. From everything you’ve said I believe he’s going to find this guy and fast so he can come back. In the meantime, I could keep you company if you wanted. Not like i Really have anything to go back too.”

“What do you mean?” Mac asked feeling his own concern but she simply shook her head and waved the question away.

“I think we’ve had enough depressing conversation for one evening. I’ll admit I’m an author and I’ve based my books on the little blond boy I met a long time ago. It’s time for some new material, if you don’t mind having an extra roommate for a while.” Baxter said again though he got the sense that she wasn’t staying for her or her new material, despite what she said. Why would someone care after not knowing or seeing someone for so long? But he couldn’t ignore his intrigue nor his relief to have someone around. Bozer and Leanne had made up and the move looked to be going through and after Jack leaving he wasn’t keen on living alone too.

“Welcome home then, Bax.” He finally said as he stood and went to the coffee pot, pouring them each a glass.


	40. Outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley isn’t doing well with Jack’s absence. The thing is she knows Mac is handling it even worse and no one else seems to realize...

Riley Davis wandered through her friend and partner MacGyver's house, searching for the aforementioned person. No one seemed concerned about him since Jack left, no one but her. It seemed ridiculous that Bozer wasn’t even the least bit worried. He had known Mac nearly their whole lives. He knew intimately the man had abandonment issues and he had seen first hand for most of the past seven years, their codependency. She missed the man that had been like a father to her, but she knew it couldn’t be close to what her friend was going through. The problem was he was good at putting the act on, one both Matty, Bozer and Desi had bought into. Of course she couldn’t blame the latter given she had only known Mac for a few weeks. But Riley had been expecting something and watching him close. 

Ever so slowly he had been pulling away from them. Making excuses for projects that needed doing and only really present when they had a mission. She could see dark smudges beginning to form under his eyes and already she could tell he was skipping meals without the ex delta around to remind him or coax him when he wasn’t feeling up to it. His cheeks were hollow and his clothes seemed to fit looser. Jack had always complained how skinny he was and cursed the lack of care he had received as a child. Bozer had confirmed that Mac’s poor sleeping and eating habits were nothing new. His grandfather had apparently been just as absent minded about them and the Bozer’s had been hesitant to force him to do anything for fear of how he would take it. As far as the older man and Riley were concerned, the boy had needed someone to step up and the adults around him had failed. Not that either would ever say so in front of Mac or Bozer. The blond agent felt grateful that he had been taken in and felt he had gotten more than he deserved plus he worshipped his grandfather. Bozer had rose colored glasses where his family was concerned and would never hear a bad word against them. So when Jack had gotten to know the “skinny geek with the hamburger name” and pieced together the reasons for his lack of self worth and care; he had taken over the role and even Bozer had said that his best friend had never been happier or healthier. But now he was gone and Riley decided to make it her mission to pick up where Jack left off, until the man came back. And he would come back or she and Mac would drag him back.

That day the team had planned a BBQ, it was supposed to be at Matty’s house. When Riley had showed up, everyone had been there but Mac. When asked she had been informed that he had had plans already and had sent his apologies. The hacker had been sure it wasn’t completely true and had slipped out to go looking for him. Bringing her to his house where, sure enough, his Jeep sat out front. 

She didn’t spot the blond genius anywhere in his house, the motorcycle he had been working on since she met him was sitting in the dining room and it was clear that he hadn’t worked on it for a long time. Riley grimaced at that and knew it was another product of the missing ex delta. The blond and his partner had spent many days off talking while the genius tinkered with the bike. There would be memories there he didn’t want, some she didn’t want either. Turning forcefully away she picked her way into the kitchen. The counters were bare, not even a dish in the sink. She finally went to the back door and slid it open. She had half expected to find her friend sitting near the fire pit but it was empty and cold.

Riley went to the railing and stared absently into the backyard feeling the loss of Jack more keenly than she had allowed herself to feel since he’d walked out of the war room all those weeks ago. As she stared across the neatly trimmed lawn and swimming pool. Mac had been so outside of everything, in a self induced exile and she wished she knew how to help him. As the hacker mused she became aware of an odd, unfamiliar noise coming from across the yard. Curiously she stared at the rather large old shed that stood just at the edge of Mac’s property. In the nearly four years she had known him, she couldn’t recall ever seeing him even go in the small building, nevermind work in it for any length of time. 

Making her way across the lawn, she paused at the door and pressed her ear to it, listening closely. The odd squeaky hum continued. Slowly she opened the door and peered inside. It was larger than she thought and in the corner directly to her left was a neatly stacked pile of wood. Pushing the door further she was relieved to see her friend. His back was to her and he was bent over whatever was making the noise. Slowly making her way around, Riley tried to see what he was doing. His fingers pressed a piece of wood around and she realized it was a band saw. She watched in fascination as Mac shaped the wood he was working on. Noting he had on a pair of safety glasses, she was glad he was taking care of himself in some ways. 

The hacker was pulled from her thoughts when the machine suddenly snapped off. Mac turned brushing the sawdust off his shirt before pushing the glasses back on his head and giving her his attention. He didn’t look upset that she was there, but definitely curious.

“Riley, are you alright?” He finally asked eyes crinkled with worry as he took a step towards her, studying her. She realized she had been standing and staring at him for a long time and shook her head to clear it.

“Yea I’m-I’m fine. Missed you at Matty’s.” She finally said and saw his face fall a little before he covered it up with a strained smile.

“Ah yea sorry, I just had things here I needed to get done.” He muttered rubbing the back of his head as he glanced away. Her friend looked so like a lost little boy and she couldn’t help but swallow around a lump in her throat. Plenty of people had left Riley behind but she had always had her mother. It hurt he hadn’t had the same. Overcome and almost before she was aware, the hacker had stepped forward and begun to hug the genius tightly. He never hesitated in putting his arms around her and giving a tight squeeze.

“It’s not the same without Jack. Everything is different, I know. I feel it too. But Mac,” she pulled back a little and saw that she had his attention. His blue eyes a bit watery he finally looked away. “It isn’t the same without you either. Please, I can’t lose my best friend and my dad.”

His eyes darted back up to hers sharply and his mouth open and closed a couple of times but he couldn’t seem to form words. Huffing in frustration he took a breath and tried again.

“I’m your best friend?” He finally asked, voice cracking just a bit.

“Of course you are.” Riley said reaching down to squeeze his hand. “You helped me out of jail, gave me my life back. If I ever need to talk you always know and find me. I’ve never had a better friend. But none of us have been doing a very good job at being your friend.”

The genius opened his mouth and Riley knew it was to argue and she held up her hand to forstall him. He snapped his mouth closed and studied her once again, with a wariness that made her chest hurt. She took one of his hands in her own and squeezed it gently. They were large, warm and calloused from all the work he did. Hands that fixed and healed, yet no one seemed to be able to do the same for him. Looking up she saw a blush raising on his cheeks and the tips of his ears and couldn’t help but chuckle. Bozer was right, he really was like an adorable puppy sometimes. 

“It’s true. You aren’t sleeping again, you aren’t eating and Jack would be pissed if he knew we let it happen.” Mac let out a small huff at the statement but he didn’t argue her point. “I don’t feel up to the Barbeque either, but maybe we can go grab a pizza and do skiball?” It was her thing with Jack but they both needed to be close to him and she didn’t mind sharing with Mac. The two of them loved the man the most and his absence hit them the hardest. They needed each other and she wouldn’t soon forget it. 

Though Riley fully expected Mac to refuse, she still planned to hang around. Even if it was in the corner of his wood shop. Something she had serious questions about when the time was appropriate. She could see all the things he had presumably made and they were amazing; well crafted with care.

“Ok, let’s do it.” Mac responded giving her a knowing smile when she looked up in surprise. “Maybe it’ll help.” He finished with a shrug and offered her his arm. She slid her own in his with a smile laying her head on his shoulder.

They would be ok, they would help each other until Jack got back. Then they would never let him leave again.


	41. “Let Me Be Sad”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another one about Mac’s feelings on Jack leaving. Based on the song “Let Me Be Sad” just released by I Prevail. Highly recommended if you haven’t listened!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~ surround the song lyrics. I would listen to the song while reading to get the full scope of emotions but it isn’t necessary.

~ I’m holding back right now~

Mac felt Jack’s absence more keenly then he could possibly describe. The two of them had forged an unlikely bond in the Sandbox. Jack liked to say it was one in a million and the blond had to agree. He’d told himself bitterly after Pena had died, that he was done letting people in. They either died or abandoned him. Even Bozer, who had promised never to leave in the long hours when he’d finally realized his father wasn’t coming back, had left him for a while. But Jack, even when he didn’t like him, didn’t understand him or believe in him, he never left. He had his back and saved his life because that was his job and he was damn good at it. So when the opportunity came for Mac to pay him back even a little, he took it. He hadn’t understood that decision would bring him the rock he hadn’t known he needed in his life. The geek had relaxed a bit, allowed the ex delta to drag him out and do things rather than spend hour after hour tinkering in his shed. Though Jack always made sure he had plenty of uninterrupted time for that. He also seemed to know the times that Mac needed company and when he needed the house to be completely void of human life. Either way he made it happen and the ex EOD tech never could find a way to express his appreciation than learn Jack just as well and silently take care of him just as fiercely. They came to rely on each other but it was ok because there was no one that either of them trusted more than their partners. They became legends in Afghanistan and the most sought after team at the Phoenix. It was well known that they worked just as effectively with the just the two of them as they did with the standard five member teams that made them up. The one thing that Mac could count on, was Jack to have his back. That was until he’d brought him aside and told him he was leaving. It felt like his world was falling in around him. But he knew Jack and he knew that man wouldn’t go without him if there wasn’t another choice. He couldn’t make it difficult for him. Besides he had to hold it together for the rest of the team, had to protect them in Jack’s absence and be their rock when they were missing the exuberant ex delta. They had one last mission together and Mac respected his wishes to not tell the others. It was a large gaping wound that he pushed deep inside him. Saving Riley’s life made him forget, but when she gasped for breath and he knew she’d be ok, it came crashing down again. He had to make sure Riley was safe, Jack would never forgive him if he let something happen to her. A wave of anguish washed over him but he did as he always did and compartmentalized it and moved on. When Jack was saying his goodbyes, it had been hard. Hard not to break down and ask him to stay, because he would. He knew he would if he asked. Despite the legal trouble it could cause. It was hard not to hug him and cry but Bozer and Riley were already losing it and Matty was staring sternly in the distance for a reason. So he shakily reaches out and shook the man’s hand. Met his eyes and knew the ex delta understood. Then the calloused hand slipped form his own and he was gone. 

~Cuz I’m numb to what’s around~

Mac had drifted first from Bozer who assured him he was alright and would find Leanne for support. Then to Riley who stared at him stoneley before tersely inviting him out to a bar. He ordered lemon water while she ordered shot after shot and silently drank them, eyes boring into the wood of the bar. He remained by her side, silently ready to listen should she need it. He was sure she didn’t realize he wasn’t drinking. But he couldn’t, he didn’t much like being drunk to begin with. Didn’t like how slow and uncoordinated it made him but also how emotional. No he couldn’t feel these feelings that intensely, not now.. perhaps never. He needed to hold it together for the others until Jack got back and by then he would be back. There would be no reason to break down. It seemed perfectly logical to MacGyver, as long as he avoided alcohol. That’s how it went night after night. He kept Bozer and Riley company as they struggled through the abrupt loss and even more abrupt appearance of Jack’s replacement. He almost broke then but he was sure she’d be reporting back to the ex delta, so he continued to hold it together, tried to fake it and it seemed to work. He hadn’t realized how well it was working, until that day. When Bozer snapped asking him how he had become so robotic that he didn’t even miss the man that he’d been nearly attached to for seven years. 

~ I miss the life I used to have with you right here~

Mac had blinked, mentally rearing back from the unexpectedly viscous attack from his oldest friend. He opened his mouth to speak but his voice caught and he could feel a bubble of emotion threatening to overwhelm. Instead he snapped his jaw closed. He felt hot and cold all over and when the familiar Texan voice didn’t immediately come to his aid it hit him one more time that he wasn’t here and Mac couldn’t let it bother him. He couldn’t scream at the man that he missed Jack more than any of them. But he was having trouble sending the message to his body. He remained frozen in the center of the war room, half finished attempt at paperclip art limp in his fingers as he continued to stare watery eyed at his friend. There was a teetering moment when Mac was sure it was all going to come crashing down on him. Thought everything he’d pushed away would crashing down on right in front of them. Riley wouldn’t feel like she could come him anymore when she needed someone to understand Jack’s absence on a deeper level. Couldn’t be strong for Desi who needed to send good reports to Jack and be able to focus on protecting his pseudo daughter rather than the him. 

~ Now everything has turned to grey~

It was the hackers shocked and scolding gasp of the lab techs name that helped him shove the lid on his emotions enough to turn and walk away. He ignored Matty’s call, dodged Riley’s half hearted attempt to stop him and shook his head stopping Desi in her tracks. The further away he got the longer and quicker his strides. Avoiding the elevator, he burst into the stairwell and down the steps. Two at a time and in not time he was out into the parking garage and striding towards his Jeep. He yanked the door open and began to drive. A voice in his head sounding suspiciously like the Texan rebuked him to put his seatbelt on. He ignored it, knowing he was punishing someone who couldn’t see that they were being punished. He did it anyway, in all the ways he could think of. Partially hoping that something Desi reported to him would bring him home again.

~ And I’m Blacking out the shades for now~

Haphazardly he drove home, he really had nowhere else to go. Jack’s apartment was gone, his things in storage at Mac’s. It would have to be enough there. Soon he was parking the Jeep and stepping through the front door, unsure how he had gotten from point a to point b. Mentally shrugging he forgot it immediately and with disinterest. He strode down the back hall towards his grandfather's bedroom. No one had been allowed to be in there...until Jack. At first his stuff had been stored, but slowly he had unpacked his things and put them away as if he lived there. Suddenly it had become a whole project. He had stripped the room bare and completely repainted it in a color scheme more suited to Jack. He found furniture that matched both the colors and his friends personality. It had meant lots of visits to Country Western stores but they’d reminded him so much of his friend that he hadn’t minded it. A king sized bed was center of the room. A large oak desk under the window and a walnut dresser on the other side of the room. He had found an interesting scrubbed wood bookcase and set that up for the man’s dvd collection. Finally his cabinet that held his precious cigar box was set up as well. His very last touch had been to carve a nameplate for his door. He’d sculpted the man’s name between two bull skulls and affixed it carefully to the door. After that he hadn’t been able enter the room again. 

~Let me be sad ~

Mac burst into the room and paused just inside the room. Every bit of it screamed Jack and suddenly he remembered why he never came in. Gasping and gulping he stumbled across the floor.

~ Even for a little while ~

The gaping hole he felt inside began to burn and he physically had to bend over against the weight of it. Jack was a very large space and there was nothing that could fill it. Tears teetered in the corners of his eyes but he growled animalistically against it and stared blankly at the corner of the bedspread.

~ Just a chance to catch my breath~

Sucking in a deep breath he dragged his gaze towards the ceiling and tried to blink them away but the loss was just too great. 

~ Let me be sad ~

The room spun and he turned in place equilibrium off as the fight with his tears was lost and hot droplets dripped down his cheeks. Why were there so many of them?

~ Even for a little while ~

Desperately he tried to reign it in, dry out the tears and push the grief right back where it was. It would matter when he came back. It wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t- Was that noise coming from him? A low animalistic keen and he felt it rumbling in his chest and an emotional tidal wave peaked in his mind.

~ Cuz it’s all that I have left ~

The rumbling moved up his chest or his throat becoming more of a growl before it became to great and he was screaming ears ringing barely holding himself together as he collapsed against the side of the bed and wailed.

~ When all I see are the memories, I don’t want to lose a thing ~

He couldn’t shut it off, shutting it off would be shutting Jack out and becoming exactly what Bozer had accused him of being and anyway it was too late now. The wave was coming and all he could do was ride it and hope he came across in one piece on the other side. It felt as though his mind was ripping to pieces as different images of his friend flashed across his memory without his permission and the crippling mental anguish had him curling into the fetal position as he rode out the waves.

~ Let me be sad, let me be sad~

He wasn’t sure how he was going to survive, it never seemed to end only intensify. He wasn’t even sure if he was being audible anymore or not and found he couldn’t care. There wasn’t enough of him left to care who could overhear and how they felt about him. Maybe they’d take him off missions. He knew there had been murmurs of it anyway. He was taking risks more often and bigger ones at that. In his mind he was keeping the others safe like Jack would, and deep down knowing it would make Jack upset and a childish part of him wanted the man to hurt like he did. But not like this, the anguish enveloping him without relief seemed as if it would leave nothing left but an empty void. Maybe that would be better.

~Can you see it in my eyes I’ve been distant?~

Anger began to creep in and the noises he made became more feral as he slammed a fist against the floor harder and harder. How dare Bozer accuse him of not missing Jack? How could he not know that Mac’s entire world was crumbling out from underneath him, had been since the man had broken the news to him all those months ago. There had been very little Contact though Mac had managed to keep tabs on him and have care packages waiting for him at all his stops. A reminder that he still had a family to come home to and he had best come back safe and in one piece. It was all the blond could do, and it kept him from jumping the next plane and joining him.

~ Cuz I can’t tell if it’s the end or the beginning~

The anger burned out and fell back to the burning ache of loss. His fingers dug into the carpet beneath him in an attempt to ground himself as whimpers fell from his lips, sobbing great heaving sobs. 

~ I know I haven’t been myself, I admit it ~

Mac could only feel remorse with his anguish now. He hadn’t meant to seem so distant with his friends. He just hadn’t known how to hold himself together. Now he’d probably lost all of them. The energy had completely drained out of him, so though he continued to cry, he was silent and still. Contrary to the feelings swirling inside him.

~I put up walls so if I burned any bridges just know~

 

The grieving man was glad he was facing underneath the bed rather the door when he heard footsteps approaching from behind him. He sniffed and shakily reached to wipe his face and cheeks quickly in an attempt to pull himself together. He wasn’t fast enough, though he wasn’t sure he would look normal anytime soon after the crying jag. It was Riley’s gentle voice reaching his ears that almost sent him over the edge again.

~ I’m doin’ everything I can to try and fix it~

“Sorry-“ he managed to say in a hitched voice before biting down on his knuckle and pull himself together. Riley was there now, his moment was over. At least until she was gone.

~But knowin’ me I’ll probably miss it ~

A hand on his shoulder startled him and reflexively he looked up from between his fingers at her. She studied him for one long moment before her own face flashed before settling on sympathy. She helped pull him into the sitting position and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. To worn out to protest, he leaned against her.

~ These voices get so vicious~ 

“I miss him so much i can’t function Riley.” Mac found himself blurting out. “ I’m sorry if-“ She held up a hand and he stopped immediately.

“Jack is going to be annoyingly smug when he discovers he won a bet while gone.” Riley drawled and caught his attention. It seemed to be her aim because when their eyes met she gave him a kind smile and squeezed his shoulder with her hand.

“What bet?” He barked out, voice rough and he began to wonder exactly how loud he had been and who had heard.

~Feels like I’m rippin’ stitches~

“I said That you did not apologize as much as he says you do. There was a chart and numbers. He won.” She said with an exasperated sigh. “Don’t make me live it right now.” Her smile dropped and she grew serious.

“I miss him too. It’s ok for you to tell me you miss him, it doesn’t make it harder. It helps knowing that you understand.” She began to ramble but he listened swallowing hard. “Matty and Bozer don’t, not really. Not the way I do. But I don’t think I understand the way you do either.” There was a long silence before her next words had him staring openly at her.

“I’m the one who should be sorry.”

~I wish some days I could go back ~

“You don’t-“ he began but once more she cut him off and he couldn’t help but stare at her feeling a little befuddled.

“I should Mac! I knew you had to be hurting, a lot. But instead of trying to find it or asking you directly, I just took the comfort you offered.” She sounded upset with herself as she spoke. “You did a good job of stepping in for Jack that everyone forgot you’d be the one that would notice his absence most. You don’t have to forgive him, but Bozer is sorry. I told him he was wrong and I think he’s making you apology brownies. Whatever that means.”

~ Before life changed, it was so fast ~

“I don’t want to think about it Riley.” Mac said the exhaustion he felt creeping into his voice, causing her to give him a worried look. “It’s too hard.” His voice cracked again and she began to look a little teary herself.

~ That time is gone and I know that ~

They remained silent after that, each pulling themselves back together. Outside the room they didn’t speak of it. Riley came to Mac if she needed to talk as she had always done. She tried to convince Desi to keep a closer eye on him too but she was stubborn in believing that Riley was Jack’s top priority. He thought she was right but never said it out loud. When Bozer had expressed his agreement with her, Riley had threatened to snap him in half. But sometimes Mac would go in the room that he had made for the missing man and let himself go. Somehow the hacker had known every time and joined him. Sometimes she cried with him and sometimes she was just a steady presence at his side. 

~ So Please ~

As time wore on Riley felt better and spoke less about Jack except for funny stories about the man. Bozer and Matty seemed to get used to his absence as well. Mac never did and at times he resented that the others could. He went back to shoving the emotions away and pointedly avoided the Texans room and the hints that the hacker tried to drop that maybe he needed to talk. 

~ Let me be sad ~

It lasted less than a week. He snapped at Desi when trying to do a repair on sparky. Everyone had fallen silent and he had paused his work. Letting out a mumbled apology he turned and left the room. The day was nearly over anyway so he had left the building completely. For hours he had driven windy roads and hardly paying attention to the ones that he took. Finally late in the evening he was parking in front of his house. Stepping back through the halls he wasn’t surprised to see Riley seated on the floor next to Jack’s bed waiting for him. She looked up at him when he entered. His head dropped and he sobbed audibly.

~Even for a little while~

In a flash she stood in front of him and they clutched at each other as the drowning washed over them both. This time he was less concerned about getting lost, he had to make sure she made it through, therefore he had to make it through. When it became more manageable he pulled back and looked at her with swollen eyes.

“You were doing so much better.” He mumbled apologetically.

“And you weren’t.” She pointed out with a raised eyebrow and he coughed turning his face away from the rebuke.

~Just a chance to catch my breath  
Let me be sad  
Even for a little while  
Cuz it's all that I have left  
When all I see are the memories, I don't want to lose a thing  
Let me be sad, let me be sad~

There never was any improvement but he stopped fighting Riley’s attempt to be there for him. It did help that she never got upset that he was still upset. In some ways she began to take over where the Texan left off. She never let anyone bully him, and she always got him the supplies he was looking for when putting his genius mind to work. She had the blind faith that Jack had that he would find a way to fix it. She point blank told Desi that Jack would be upset that she was protecting the wrong person and shrugged when everyone including Mac stared at her. The woman hadn’t listened but it seemed the hacker felt better about getting it out in the open. Almost seemed smug waiting for the Day Jack returned.

 

~I'm doin' everything I can to try and fix it  
But knowin' me I'll probably miss it  
These voices get so vicious  
Feels like I'm rippin' stitches  
I wish some days I could go back  
Before life changed it was so fast  
That time is gone and I know that  
All that we have is a moment  
So please let me be~

It came sooner than they were expecting and Mac experienced a new emotion he hadn’t realized he had tucked away. Betrayal. Jack swaggered in on the opp they were in the midst of. He immediately chastised Desi for covering Riley and not Mac who was deeper in the field and in the more immediate danger. The only one who seemed to notice the coms had fallen silent was Riley who didn’t know how to gauge MacGyver’s mentality at the moment without drawing Jack’s attention and possibly making things worse.

They finished their jobs and Mac was professional, allowing Jack back in seamlessly as if he had never left. It wasn’t until they were back in the war room he lost his grip. Jack made snide comments to a Desi, dressing her down for not protecting the EOD tech as he had asked her too and he snapped. All the worry and sadness joined the red hot rage he felt.

“If you were so worried about it, you should have been here!” His thoughtless words echoed in his head as he stared across the room at Jack feeling the situation eerily similar to the one weeks ago when Bozer had accused him of feeling nothing. The snarky part of him wondered if Bozer understood now, understood the depth of the hurt he felt inside. It had to almost be leaking from him. After the words had tumbled form his lips he had launched himself at the older man fists flying. He’d heard his friends gasp and Matty bark an order. Presumably to stop. But he couldn’t and didn’t. Jack’s voice raised over the others and surprisingly it wasn’t telling him to stop but rather to tell the others to stand down. His fist struck the man’s cheek and finally jolted him to his senses. He stared at his friend shaking. This is what he did now? Hurt somebody because he was upset? He didn’t like how the man held his hands up and spoke to him like he was one of the abused colts on his grandparents ranch and took a step back.

“Don’t.” He said through gritted teeth. “Just don’t.”

~Let me be sad  
Even for a little while  
Just a chance to catch my breath  
Let me be sad  
Even for a little while  
Cuz it's all that I have left  
When all I see are the memories, I don't want to lose a thing  
Let me be sad, Let me be sad~

This time he definitely didn’t remember how he got from standing in front of his long lost partner and in the room he had set up for him in his home. His mind buzzed as he looked around at everything and childishly wondered if it would still be there in a week. Why would Jack want to live with him when he could get his own place. Why would he want to live with him when he had just beaten him to a pulp. He really should have been less surprised when the man himself suddenly appeared in the doorway looking contrite. Seeing Riley standing behind him and tapping her toes he knew the man had been chewed out by his pseudo daughter on the way over.

Arms engulfed him and he let them. The man stood silently with him and didn’t push.

It was just what he needed.

 

~(Let me be sad)  
I'm holding back right now  
(Let me be sad)  
Cuz I'm numb to what's around  
I miss the life I used to have with you right here  
Now everything has turned to grey  
And I'm blacking out the shades for now~


	42. Heavy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack isn’t happy about being gone. But Mac has a little surprise that keeps him going until he makes it home.

Jack stared blankly ahead, they’d spent weeks in Washington debriefing. Weeks of nothing but tracking down his Phoenix team and keeping tabs them. Weeks of watching Mac take risk after risk. He called favor after favor in to watch any camera footage near where they went. His stomach climbed in his throat and he considered breaking the law and sending Desi a carefully worded text about taking better care of his partner. He had hired her for a reason. He had believed she would be able to do as he did and read through Mac’s bullshit and knew when he was hurting and needed looking after. Had asked her point blank if she could handle watching his pseudo daughter but most especially his wayward partner. It was minutes before they were finally given orders to move to their first location that he found out Daddy Mac had cancer and that despite an intensive chemo wasn’t likely to beat it. He’d had the sudden desire to hit something hard. The kid could just never catch a break. He’d lost his mother at the tender age of five, put up with a drifter father who finally abandoned him completely. His grandfather passed, and Pena. 

When Jack had met the skinny kid, he’d been a bundle of undirected anger and pain. He’d done what he could to guide the negative emotions and salvage the sweet innocent personality underneath. It was a work in progress but he had made great strides. Until the bastard terrorist had come back to life and uprooted him. He knew his partner would try to understand but the damaged and insecure part of him would see Jack’s departure as more abandonment. With his fathers days numbered he could only imagine how far off the rails he would go and the ex delta wasn’t there to protect him and keep him safe and he could no longer trust that Desi was up to the job. He was glad that Riley was safe but rarely was she in any real danger. Mac always was and without someone to temper his sacrificial tendencies, he’d find himself an acceptable loss. The soldier had wanted to beat the kids father to a pulp when he’d jumped from the the armored truck into Murdoc’s getaway vehicle. He had thought he was going to watch the blond man die and if he had he would undoubtedly gone off the rails. But Mac had pulled through as he always did. When he’d seen his fragile friend suddenly and awkwardly hug his father his heart hurt. The man was trying, Jack could see but he could also see that Mac still wasn’t the his priority and that was never likely to change. He didn’t think the blond could see it though which meant more hurt feelings and despair if he ever figured it out. Which the ex delta had no doubt he would. He was bright and very good at reading people. Right now he was floundering and looking for a way to get grounded. But eventually he would read all the signs and the overwhelming feelings of inadequacy and unimportance would overwhelm him.

Jack ground his teeth and ignored any attempts the rest of his new team gave in speaking to him. They had been warned by their superiors that he wasn’t there willingly and his time with them was short. He could lead them to a few places but he had come in on the tail end of the hunt the first time and there wasn’t anything he could do that someone else couldn’t once he had guided them through the areas he did know. But it still could take months, months that Mac could find a way to get himself killed because he never believed his life was worth anything. Most of the crew slept on the flight, but he remained awake and deep in thought. 

Mechanically he disembarked last. They walked down a rickety set of stairs to the tarmac. The men were mumbling amongst themselves as they waited for orders, but Jack didn’t offer any because he was distracted when he heard someone call his name.

“Is there a Jack Dalton?” The Man’s voice was thick with a French accent but he was sure that’s what he had said. He wondered for a moment if they had been compromised but the teenager held up a sign with his name and looked rather bored. Curiosity peaked he approached.

“That’s me.” The delivery boy straightened and passed him over a hefty package, and a separate envelope. He looked down at the familiar handwriting and felt his heart clench. Immediately he ripped open the envelope and soaked in the words.

I’m not doing ok, but I know you know that. I’ll be alright if you do what you need to do and come home. I need you to come home Jack. Be safe and look for a package at your next stop.

-Mac

He carefully folded the paper and tucked it in his chest pocket. Hefting the box under his arm he turned back to his crew and barked the order to disperse to their predetermined hotel. They would spend the afternoon recovering and the following day they would begin a game plan for their search. Jack had renewed energy and reason to get it done but he knew he had to let the others have their time. Luckily the place wasn’t far from the airport and they had transportation provided. In the lobby he told them to meet him back there at 0500 the next day and dismissed them. He took the stairs two at a time up to his own room. He placed the package carefully on the bed and promptly forced himself to forget it for the time being.

Jack started by ordering room service. He dug the clothes he would wear for the evening out and paced the room. Once his food was delivered and he had tipped the bell hopper well, suggesting that he not be disturbed under any circumstances. The man bowed and scraped as he left and took off to make sure the kind American man wasn’t bothered until he met his troop early in the morning. The ex deltas next activity was to lock down the room completely. He showered quickly and changed. Taking one last glance around the room, Jack was satisfied he had done all he needed too and could give his entire focus on the package. Opening it slowly he pulled the protective sheet of paper off. Nestled on the top was another, larger, envelope. Instinctively he set that aside for last. Reaching his hand in he grabbed something and pulled. The soldier let out a soft huff when he saw his favorite beef jerky. It was expensive, but his partner had splurged and gotten him the larger package. He would be able to ration it out for longer.

“Thanks buddy.” He whispered as he set it on the bed next to him and pulled out his next prize.

A Cadberry Cream egg. When Mac had found out he liked them, he had gotten one shipped to them in Afghanistan. Every year after that, including this one it seemed, his partner had managed to gift him with at least one of the coveted treats. Jack of course always went out and bought tons himself. But he always saved the one Mac got him and consumed it last. He always felt it tasted the best. This time though, he immediately and carefully unwrapped the chocolate. He took half in one bite and savored it before finishing it and licking his fingers clean. Digging around on his dinner tray he found and napkin and scrubbed his skin down. Satisfied he continued. There was a pack of bubblegum, he always forgot it but he always chewed a lot of it while out on a mission. It helped keep him focused. Mac had once again come through for him. A magazine featuring a Bruce Willis Interview, and a book of crossword puzzles came next. To date, the blond agent was the only one who had noticed the unfinished ones that littered his house and knew they were his. He supposed the rest of the team assumed they were Mac’s and he’d never disabused them of the notion. He could imagine his partners puppy dog look when he realized he was on the outside of the whole situation. 

Jack barked out a laugh when the next item he pulled out was a paperclip shaped stress reliever. He squeezed it once and had to wonder where Mac had managed to scrounge such a thing up. The final thing that he had sent was a special lotion that would keep his knuckles from getting windswept and cracked. A bright pink stickie note with dark black sharpie ordering him to Actually USE it Jack!, had him opening the container immediately and rubbing some in.

Setting the box aside he finally picked up the large envelope and slid it open. A stack of pictures and a folded note slid into his note and he read that first.

You always liked having pictures.

The first was of Riley. Face captured with the familiar sneer she got when she’d cracked the code, probably faster than anyone expected her too. The next was of Bozer and Leanne. A third was of the three of them, Desi and Matty seated around the fire at Mac’s house. He understood immediately, his boy was taking care of them as well as he could. The last photo had him choking up and looking away. It was the last one the two of them had taken, just a couple of weeks before he was deployed, right before their trip to Las Vegas. His friends dimpled grin, the one he got only if he was completely at ease and happy, stared up at him. A wave of heavy emotions passed over him and he stood. Folding the picture in half he tucked on the inside pocket of his coat. It used to be the pocket that had carried his fathers photo. But it wasn’t his fathers photo he needed next to his heart this time and he had left it behind. The other photos he carefully placed in his wallet.

Jack only slept for a few hours. Then he was up and packed before heading out into the town. His first stop was a small tourist shop. He scoped out an odd trinket, one he knew likely Mac could take apart and use the pieces on other things. He grabbed a postcard at the register and after he paid borrowed a pen and scratched a J onto the back. He found a post office and got the items packaged up and shipped out express. Then he trotted back closer to the hotel and stopped into a bakery he had past.

When his men came downstairs, promptly at 0500 as ordered, he had a hot breakfast buffet waiting for them. No he didn’t want to be there, but that wasn’t their fault and it was likely they didn’t want to be there either. So while he was there he would care for them as if he were caring for Mac. He would never be able to look his partner in the face if he did any less. They talked and joked until their bus came and it was all business again. But the comraderie had formed so the trip was more pleasant then any of the last few weeks had been.

Time did pass but true to his word, Mac had a package waiting at every place they stopped. It hadn’t taken long for his crew to figure out why landing in places was so exciting but they smiled in understanding and didn’t razz him about it. They weren’t allowed calls home much but when they were, he always called Mac first. He needed to hear the kids voice and know he was still there. The strain was apparent, and he knew that the clock ticking down on his newly found father wasn’t helping. He tried to coach as best he could but Mac always turned to conversation on him and got him rambling. He shouldn’t have been shocked when the packages got a little bigger and included items for his team. Every one of them immediately adopted the geek as the team mascot and the common phrase was “What Would MacGyver Do?” The blond man had chuckled when he first told him that and it had been the first real positive emotion he had heard from the kid since he’d told him he had to leave.

Jack hadn’t expected to still be there when the terrorist was found, indeed it was the very last town they were exploring before he was planning to start making noise about going home. Mac needed him and he needed the kid and no one was keeping him from him any longer. Then they had burst into one of his old safe houses. The only consolation was that everyone inside seemed to be just as surprised to see them as they were to actually find anybody. The ex delta jumped into action first, spotting their target and running towards him. The old man was desperately trying to stand and get away but people around him were starting to panic themselves. He jumped over more than one table, sending food flying and used his weapon to bash more than one guard into submission. He pictured the Phoenix Team in his mind as more particularly being able to go back in the field and cover his best friend. 

He got to the man and he tackled him to the ground. Making quick work of ziptyimg his hands, he had his weapon pressed to his head.

“Give me a reason I dare you scum!” He yelled anger at being forced away from where he wanted to be for so many months, spurring his rage. “I guarantee you I won’t miss this time.” His captive was not a stupid man and knew when he had been beat. He allowed himself to be escorted quietly. Jack brought him personally all the way to the jail cell and didn’t leave until it was locked up to his satisfaction. The man would spend the rest of his life there, though how long that was was still being determined. It was out of Jack’s hands then and he was already making preparations for home. One quick stop in Washington to debrief and he’d be home dragging Mac out to have a steak. He knew the kid would need feeding up.

When it was all said and done, he bid his new buddies goodbye at the airport, promising a get together where’d he’d bring Mac along for them to finally meet in person. The flight to LA was the longest he’d ever been on it felt like, and he was irritable and grumpy when they landed. Slinging his bag over his shoulder he made his way out of the plane and into the airport. Passing the gates into baggage claim, he had to do a triple take before he realized he was actually seeing what he thought he was. Mac stood there, chauffeur hat cockeyed on top of his head while he held a sign that read “Dalton”. At his side he had somehow already managed to locate the older man’s luggage. He hadn’t yet noticed his partners approach, so Jack took the moment to study him candidly. The blond agent was clearly run down, Dark smudges sat under his eyes and he had definitely lost weight. The army man gnashed his teeth preparing to rip the entire team including Oversight a new one for neglecting his partner, who he doubted had once neglected any of them. The searing blue gaze finally landed on him and his face immediately lightened up as he grinned and waved. 

Jack jogged over, the closer he got the more the crushing weight of the last thirteen months overwhelmed him. By the time he reached the blond agent he had dropped his bag and scooped the smaller man unceremoniously into a bear hug and squeezed tight. Mac didn’t protest, rather he had dropped the sign and lost his hat as he hugged the man back just as fiercely. There were cat calls and whistles behind them but neither of them cared. It seemed to soon when they finally pulled back, each looking the other over and taking in the changes time had wrought. Once more the weight that Mac couldn’t afford to lose became obvious.

“We’re going to get a steak dinner, with all the fixings and you’re having some of everything!” Jack demanded poking a finger in the blonde chest. “Capiche?”

The others man’s face crinkled in amusement before he let out a full blown laugh. Jack stared at him baffled, he’d been being totally serious and Mac ought to know that. Already the young genius was waving a hand and gathering control.

“Sorry, it’s just Desi’s gonna be pissed when she finds out I won the bet.” He chuckled again.

“What bet?” Jack tried to avoid showing how exactly he felt about Desi but of course Mac could read him and shook his head.

“Jack, she did fine. No one can be you but you, and no one wants to follow me into the depths of the weird but you. So cut her some slack.” He scolded gently but Jack was stubborn.

“I hired her to be as close to me as she could. I hired her and prepared her to go into the “depths of the weird” he did hand quotations to punctuate his point. “But our team mates failings will be a discussion I will have with them st a later time. For now, you need food and I need something that wasn’t freeze dried.”

It seemed Mac decided it was best to just let him do what he would because he dropped the subject and allowed himself to be swept along. They squabbled over the bags until finally Mac was holding his carry on and Jack his luggage. They horsed around all the way through the airport, earning more then one look. Trotting across the lot, Jack absently looked around for Mac’s Jeep and it took him a long time to realize the man had stopped at his car instead. She looked as though she had been freshly washed and waxed. After his partner stowed his carry on in the trunk, he turned and pried his luggage before putting it away as well. Giving the older man a knowing look he reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys, tossing them over.

Jack caught them easily and made a beeline for the drivers seat. Settling down into the leather he adjusted his seat and mirrors though he didn’t have to do much, Mac had pretty much had the positing memorized. The inside of the car was just as detailed as the out and when he turned it on she purred. The EOD tech had been taking good care of his girl. In a fit of emotion he reached over and squeezed his shoulder. Mac looked over at him with a grin and nodded.

“Seat belt he reminded absently.” And just as absently his partner tugged at the strap to show he already was.

Everything fell easily back into place. They’re easy banter as they caught one another up on what they had missed. They found a restaurant quick and once their food came they commenced their dance of switching and sharing sides and entrees. It was a relief after so long, he finally felt complete. It seemed his partner did too if the amount of food he packed away was any indication, and it usually was. Jack usually discerned how to handle the blond genius on any given day depending on his appetite and what he chose to eat. They took their time and when the food was gone they sat back in their seats and nursed their drinks. To keep the waitstaff happy they ordered dessert and ate on that. Finally Mac suggested a fire at his place.

In the familiar wooden chairs across each other it felt like he’d never left. Yet they didn’t run out of things to talk about. But the months of absence and relief settling in had the blonds head bobbing to his chest. Though he stubbornly tried to stay up and awake. Jack had to threaten to carry him to bed to get him to move and that was only with the promise that he stay or if he left to wake his partner and bring him. It was a promise he made wholeheartedly. 

Left on his own he took a draw of beer and thought over his talk with the team and what Mac had said in their defense. Maybe he shouldn’t go too hard on them but they did need talking too. It was clear to him in a few moments of seeing Mac that he was barely holding it together. He knew he’d have to check up on Big Mac and feel out that situation. He was going to be involved whether the man liked it or not because he was going to be there for the younger agent.

Jack sipped, and pondered, the heavy weight finally lifting off of him when he it sunk in that he was home.


	43. Striped Curtains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bozer is worried, because Mac isn’t acting normal. Jack is gone, has been gone but the Genius is convinced he’ll come home. Bozer doesn’t doubt he will...eventually.

“No not those.” MacGyver said as he approached Bozer from behind to see his selection. “Jack hates striped curtains.”

Bozer looked over his shoulder at his best friend trying to determine if he was serious or not. Solemn blue eyes met his own. Of course he was serious, it was about Jack. Mac was deadly serious about his absent partner and Bozer was beginning to think it was becoming an issue. Not that he thought Jack would purposefully abandon Mac, but he was off in the world without the blond to focus on. His track record suggested he’d find another damaged kid that needed his help and lose track of what he’d left behind. At least until it was too late and Mac wasn’t the same. The lab tech had known the genus most of his life, through all his major losses...except perhaps the most important. But then Mac never talked about his mom so that was just unknown territory from the start. But he knew that the man couldn’t handle one more major loss, at least not this soon. Jack would be a big one, the big one, he was pretty sure.

Bozer wanted to hate Jack but couldn’t. Wanted Mac to hate Jack but Mac didn’t hate anyone. Not even the father that abandoned him, only to reappear and be battling cancer. Not that that was his fault nor did the man blame him; it was just one more testament to his best friends poor luck. Luck he didn’t deserve and something he’d finally seemed to forgotten about when a loud mouthed Texan guard dog literally rammed into his life. His friend had been happy, took better care of himself (with some well placed nudges from Jack, and seemed to care a little bit if he lived to see the next day. He’d become a new person but their codependency was clear. Right now Mac was taking care of himself still, like he’d made a deal that if he did what he was supposed to then Jack would come back. How long before his hope flickered and his habits slipped again?

Perhaps it was a combination of all those feelings, maybe the deep dark part of him that was jealous of the relationship the two of them had or that he wanted to give his friend a wake up call. Whatever the reason he snapped.

“Jack doesn’t live here Mac.” He said incredulously. Mac simply huffed a fond laugh as he rolled his eyes. The gesture he always did when thinking of his partner.

“I mean he pretty much does, he scared Leanne into changing the refrigerator back.” He grinned rubbing the back of his neck.

“You do know that I know you asked Leanne to put it back for Jack.” He clicked his teeth. “And even if I didn’t before I would now because you only do that when you’re lying.

“We lie all the time.”Mac said deadpanned.

“When you lie to us and stop changing the subject!” His voice loudened and Mac stared at him in alarm. “Jack doesn’t live her and Jack isn’t in the country currently. For who knows how long. Why does he get to decide the living room curtains.” He regretted it the moment he said it but he regretted it more after Mac’s response.

“Because my home is his home. Because he’ll come back and if he sees those curtains he’s going to gripe about them and I want to hear about what he’s been doing not about curtains. And.” He leaned in, eyes a bit watery. “You’re moving out, so what do you care what they look like?” He seemed overcome, or more likely guilty, because he snatched a navy blue curtain off the rack and stalked back to their cart. 

The rest of the Day was tense and he didn’t bring it up to Mac again.

—-

As time trudged on, Desi filled Jack’s spot in nearly seamlessly. At least as far as most of the team went. Mac worked well with her, they got along and seemed to have an understanding. But they all including her knew that he was biding his time, waiting for his partner to come home. So far he still ate regularily and slept at least six hours a night. Unless they were on a difficult assignment and his big brain got wrapped up in a problem. But no one could expect Mac to not be himself at all. 

When Jack had first left he had bombarded them all with texts whenever he could find a chance. But slowly they started to lessen and dwindle. Bozer brought it up one time when Mac wasn’t around, to see if it were just him. Desi, Mattie and even Riley confirmed that it was less and less. They decided not to bring it up to the other agent, didn’t want to upset him and upset the delicate balance he seemed to find himself in. 

Time ticked on and Jack as part of the team was kind of a distant but fond memory. Then again they had only spent a couple years whereas Mac had spent seven and the first few had been deep in a war zone. The blond was always bringing him up, mentioning past adventures or things he’d like or not like. For him it was like the ex delta had gone on vacation and would be back momentarily. One one such occasion they were in the war room discussing improvements for sparky. Mac had chuckled and mentioned how Jack would hate the new changes, standing and preparing to go down and work on him since they didn’t have a mission they were needed on. The rest of them waited in tense silence for the blond to be completely out of sight before they spoke.

“Jack told me they were close. Does he realize how dependent Mac is on him?” It was Desi that broke the silence. She had been the voice of reason, the one to pull the blond back from his self sacrificing tendencies in the place of the ex delta but she didn’t dare touch this one. Sensed that it would be a mistake and ruin all the groundwork the two of them had laid down to become great friends and partners. But she was dying to know.

“They’re pretty co-dependent. I imagine Jack isn’t doing much better.” Riley spoke up absently as she tapped away on her keyboard. It was less painful to speak about the missing man but she did still feel a twinge or loss.

“The thing is, this is very out of character for Mac. He’s been hurt..a lot.” He wasn’t sure how much Desi knew and it wasn’t really his place to tell but she only nodded and waited for him to continue. “Usually he would have already assumed that, in this case, Jack wasn’t coming back and fallen into a slump.”

“A slump?” It was the computer geek that spoke looking at him over the top of her computer with a raised eyebrow.

“You know, being particularly reckless-“

“He has been.” Both woman responded.

“Not eating, not sleeping. Being absent minded and distant.” Bozer finished. “He’s Mac, he’s hardwired to put everyone over himself. That’s his natural state of being. Trust me when I tell you it could be worse.” Desi had an unusual look of fright on her face at the thought that the man could be any worse than he was. He already was worse than she had believed. Though she had thought Jack over exaggerating until she had met the blond and actually begun to work with him. “But he’s not. I think he thinks that if he takes care like Jack wants him too then Jack’ll come home.”

“Jack is coming home.” Riley stressed looking up with an unreadable expression.

“I’m sure he will Ri, but I’m not sure it’ll be directly after the mission like Mac thinks it will.” Bozer said finally explaining his theory. “Jack will find someone else that needs taking care of and become engrossed. It won’t be on purpose but you better then anyone should know he has a track record.” 

“He’ll come home.” Riley said once more stubbornly. The other two looked at each other and sighed, unsure the best way to continue.

“Has Jack given any indication that he won’t be on the next flight to LA once his mission is done?” Matty’s voice made them all jump and turn. She stood with her arms crossed in the doorway. “I think Mac is in a good a place as he is going to be given the situations with Jack and Oversight. If any of you do anything to ruin that, you’ll have me to deal with. Cupiche?” She asked leaning close with narrowed eyes.

Riley nodded while Bozer and Desi quickly murmured agreement. The subject dropped once more from general discussion but Bozer couldn’t help but watch and grow more concerned and maybe just a little bit jealous that Mac had never shown such faith in him. Desi often caught his eye and he knew she had her own concerns. Perhaps she had her own jealousies, he thought one time mid mission when Mac had absently called out for Jack. He had shaken his head and apologized sighting that the last time he’d made the device it had been with the ex delta and he had fallen deep in the memory. Desi had waved it away like it meant nothing, but the lab tech was almost certain he’d seen mild hurt and the tell tale green eyed monster before she firmly clamped it down. 

It wasn’t long after that that he moved out of Mac’s house and in with Leanne. Things became busy and more often than not their hangouts happened at late night diners or fast food places, in between all their homes. He always felt a bit of guilt when they parted ways and he knew Mac was headed to the entire huge house himself. But he was still angry and he really did want to take this step with Leanne, so he didn’t bring it up. On the occasions they did go to his house, he noticed changes. Things were rearranged, some of the furniture different and all of Jack’s belongings that had been stacked in the dining room was absent, except for his picnic table which Mac appeared to have begun using as another work bench. His tools were neatly lined along it while projects were scattered around the room. The only thing that clearly hadn’t been touched, probably not since Jack had left more than a year ago, was the motorcycle. It sat, dust covered and haunted. The only real indication that some part of Mac wasn’t taking the separation well. He probably couldn’t handle the memories. Bozer expected to feel better, to feel vindicated but he just felt very sad. The house was clean but cluttered. Without someone around to reign him in, Mac’s thoughts and work scattered and he couldn’t keep up with them. There was another pang of guilt and it was harder to shake.

Then one day, they all figured that Mac had lost it. Riley was back at headquarters running the computer systems with Matty, but Bozer and Desi were with the blond agent in the field, in the thick of things. They’d had bad intel, no one was supposed to be inside and all the cameras that Riley tapped, showed it to be seemingly true. Then they burst into the large buildings basement and found it filled with one cartel or other. Mac had frozen and kept his arms up to keep Desi and Bozer behind him, to keep them safe. The thing Jack would forcefully had done for him had he been there. The blond man spoke quickly and urgently trying to quickly capture their attention and stave off their execution as the large guns swung in their attention. Then the words stuttered off in a gasp before he let out a choked chuckle. By now everyone including his own team were beginning to wonder if he’d lost it. Then when he boldly put his arms down, they believed it.

“Mac!” He hissed as Desi tried to bump him and get his hands back up. He shook them off and gave them a brief confident look.

“You’re surrounded.” He stepped forward. “You shoot one of us and you die. You put your guns down and come quietly and everyone gets out alive.” To her credit Desi looked bored like every bit of that was true. Bozer had to fight to keep his face straight, especially with Matty in their ear asking what the hell the blond was doing. 

The leader began to chuckle though it was abruptly cut off when a red dot landed in his chest and moved up to the center of his forehead. He slowly turned to look and saw a read dot pointed at his men. He turned back to the blond who had his arms crossed and a dimpled grin on his face. He cocked his head questioningly and with a twist of his hand everyone dropped their weapon. Mac motioned Desi and Bozer to follow him and quickly they had everyone cuffed and weapons secured. Mac was looking up at the wall, grin widening before he shook his head and traipsed along deeper. The other two wanted to ask but the entire place hadn’t been checked out, and despite what they had seen they didn’t believe the place was surrounded. Riley would have seen something. But the man offered no explanation, ignoring Matty’s demands and shushing the other two when they tried to speak. He snuck around the boxes and looked up at the wall. For the first time Bozer was that he had his cellphone in his hand and was tilting the screen. Trying to pinpoint where it was facing, he could see a bright light flashing in the wall before winking out. And then they were moving. He tried to watch for it again but Mac had held up a hand to stop them and slunk around the corner. There was a thump and a yelp before he returned and continued on. They passed a downed guard and when he looked up again, Mac was already sliding his phone back into his pocket.

They had the basement cleared and Phoenix Tac Team had come in to take over. Desi and Bozer had become separated from Mac who had gone off with the leader and then disappeared into the crowd. They went outside to get air, hoping eventually the man would come out so they could get some answers. They finally saw a familiar blond head poke out the doors. Spotting them he grinned and jogged over, hands stuffed in his pocket. Bozer immediately turned the computer in his hand around so Riley and Matty could see him too.

“Blondie, tell me what happened in there! Now!” She ground out, bothered more by the mystery than his lack of obedience. His face lit up in a way they hadn’t seen in a long time, eyes crinkled in the corner.

“Oh that, it was just-“ He was cut off when a familiar voice reached all their ears. Mac turned and automatically reached out his fist which was met by his partners. They couldn’t help but stare in silence as Jack Dalton in the flesh approached them.

“Man you all look like someone died!” He finally teased tossing his arm over Mac’s shoulders and tugging him close. The man didn’t protest, seeming to be happy to be right where he was. “Did you not give them clear instructions either?” He asked with fond exasperation.

“What wasn’t clear about my instructions?” Mac asked with a pout.

“The light bending thing! I’m not Aang!” The older man argued.

“I don’t know if I should be impressed that you know who that is or disappointed that you don’t know that they didn’t bend light.” The blond scoffed.

All the while the other four stared back and forth. They hadn’t caught up to Jack being back, though the two men had fallen back in as if he had never left. Bozer realized he had been wrong. Mac had been right, had finally believed in the right person and all the guilt that had been building crashed over him.

“Clearly you figured it out!” Mac shrugged.

“Yea no thanks to you.” Jack sighed. “WAy to wait until the 11th hour.”

“I-“

The squabble was broken by a loud whistle. They all jerked to attention and stared st the screen where Matty finally pulled her fingers from her lips and stared at all of them.

“Jack? Explain yourself!” She demanded though clearly trying to fight a smile.

“Oh well I told Mac we caught old bad juju last week, just had to get through debriefing in Washington. He sent me your coordinates when he realized we were gonna be in the same area. I was released this morning, got his message and got here as quick as I could.”

“You talked to Mac last week?” Bozer asked blankly. He hadn’t heard from Jack in almost a year. 

“Talked to him nearly every week I would guess, if not more.” He gave his partner a fond look. “He always figured out where I was and where the closest phone was. And hey, thanks for those care packages hoss, it made it much easier out there.” He squeezed the blonds shoulder who dipped his head but nodded. “They found my phone and took it after the first few months and I figured I wouldn’t talk to any of you again until I came back. But Mac didn’t let the government stop him.”

“Wait, so you knew he was coming back all this time because you were talking to him?” Bozer blurted out and everyone went silent.

“No I knew he would come back because he promised he would.” Mac said brow furrowed in confusion. “Talking to him just made it easier to figure out when he’d come home.”

Jack seemed overcome by his support tightened his arm around him again. Bozer knew he was tactile and Mac could be, but this was a new level even for them. They deserved it though. They had been apart for twenty months and managed to make it through even though everyone had had doubts. Except perhaps Matty who finally spoke again.

“Get your asses on the plane and back to headquarters to debrief!” She reached out to kill the connection but before she did, she added. “Welcome back Jack.” The screen went black.

Bozer and Desi sat together on the plane and stared at the reunited partners. They talked and laughed, finishing each other’s sentences as they forcefully checked each other for injury. Satisfied when they discovered neither of them were hiding injuries, they sat back on the couch, nearly touching and spoke quietly together. They seemed to forget anyone else was with them as they exchanged information back and forth. They seemed to be whole once more.

The inevitable conversation happened a couple days later. Jack appeared in Bozer’s lab, greeting Sparky slightly sarcastically though the robot remembered fondly his time as a Frat Boy. He leaned against the table and raised his eyebrows.

“I didn’t think you were coming back.” He finally blurted out, the stare continued as if daring him to go on. He did. “Maybe I didn’t want you to come back. Because then it made you a better friend than me, does make you a better friend than me.” Whatever he had been expecting, it clearly hadn’t been that.

“What on earth are you talking about Boz?” Jack asked confused.

“He didn’t once believe you would leave. Even before he managed to find a way to contact you.” The lab tech began to explain noticing he had the other man’s full attention. “Mac hasn’t had such blind faith in someone since his grandpa. I didn’t think he’d have it again, I certainly blew it a long time ago. But you got it and you stayed in.” He didn’t know how well he was explaining himself so he just stopped.

“Boz, I’m not here to yell at you. If I need to yell at anyone it’s Desi but I think she did the best she could without getting eased into the MacGyver whirlwind.” He explained. “Though I have to say it’s nice to know I finally got through to the knucklehead. But I was going to thank you for keeping him healthy.”

The irony of the statement had him nearly doubled over with laughter. When he finally gained control of himself Jack had moved closer and looked at him with concern.

“Sorry its just, I did nothing to help Mac while you were gone. I let my emotions get the better of me and moved out! I stayed away because I couldn’t handle that he was doing so well.” He paused. “Well not well but...Jack you are the reason he’s healthy. He didnt want to give you a reason to not come home. So he made himself eat and he made himself sleep. Mac is Mac and he didn’t always remember but he did better than I’ve ever seen him do.”

Jack seemed stunned then he pushed away from the table and turned to walk silently out of the lab. Curious and concerned Bozer followed him, not bothering to remove his lab coat. The man led him through the building and up the stairs to the war room. Mac was inside hunched over a map with Matty. They had someone up on the screen the kid was talking too as he ran his finger along the piece of paper. It wasn’t to long before they had given the caller what he needed and signed off. The blond looked up at them smiling but curious. The ex delta seemed stuck, like he wanted to say or do something but couldn’t. Just stared until the blond grew uncomfortable and anxious.

“How about pizza for dinner? I’ll buy?” He finally said. 

“Alright!” Mac agreed and grabbed his jacket waving to Matty as he followed his partner out of the room.

He shared a look with the director before slipping out after then. Their voices echoing cheerfully through the halls of the Phoenix. The dream team back in the saddle again.


	44. Inner Workings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter from Desi’s perspective ..
> 
> Jack had been a friend before she decided she wasn’t going to make friends with her teams. He insisted Mac would break down her walls and make her family. She insisted he wouldn’t. 
> 
> Desi really hates being wrong...

Desi didn’t get involved with her teams beyond what was necessary. It was a rule she’d taken up after her fiancé had been killed in front of her. That had been after Jack though, so when the man called her in asking for a favor, she couldn’t refuse. He’d told her every detail of his team. Their favorite colors, habits, needs and aspirations. He talked fondly and happily as one would talk about family. The one he talked about most and most passionately about was MacGyver. He’d make outrageous claims like “that scrawny kid with the hamburger name can get under anyone’s skin, even yours”, that had seemed to be an inside joke. She had scoffed and he had only laughed at her.

“Mac’s tenacious. He’s going to become family, you might as well accept it.Its just his inner workings.” That seemed to be a lot his explanation for Mac. He could make things she would never be able to imagine out of things that looked like junk to anyone else. She had made comment about his overreactions and he he laughed and given the”it’s just Mac’s inner workings”. Again. Then he’d warned her never to give him her cell under any circumstances. The odd part was at the end of the call he had said “So when you do give Mac your phone, and you will, make sure you tell Matty. She’ll get you a new one by the time you land back home.”

It was an odd thing to say but she found she was intrigued by this team and her friends partner. But she wasn’t going to be sucked in like he said she was, her rule was in place for a reason. She’s done her best to put them off in her first meeting with each of them. They’d all been annoyed, including the Boy Scout. But to her surprise he didn’t let it affect how he treated her. He was as welcoming as could be and Jack wasn’t sure if he would be, because she was there in his place, but thought his kindness and good manners would override his anger. Clearly the ex delta had been right and didn’t that irritate her. Because if he was right about that, what else was he right about?

MacGyvers tenacity, was one. He continuously invited her to hang out with the team. Usually at his house because he had the most space. She didn’t want to admit how at home she felt there already, having only been there twice. She made a desperate attempt to separate herself. But they went on mission after mission and she began to believe that Jack had under explained the blond agent to her. She hated guns but she used them anyway, he hated guns and avoided them like a disease. He was kind to all, polite even to the people they took in custody. 

The thing that Jack had probably most been right about, was Mac’s reckless streak. He truly cared about everyone except for himself it seemed. Every scenario he made, got everyone out of danger except him. When he’d gone down in the sink hole to help the family, she’d wanted to growl and take his place. Knew that was something that Jack would have done, but she also knew the logic of him going rather than her. He had more first aid experience and she had the gun. But she didn’t take a breath again until he had been safely pulled out. Then he had been ready to face death, just to save them again though he had seemed so regretful that she were there too, as though her life worth more than his own, when really she was beginning to think his was worth more than most anyone, really. His mind ran circles around anyone else in moments. It was fascinating to witness and be a part of. And she had only scratched the surface of what she was beginning to understand had been a fairly difficult life, but he still had a certain innocence about him that baffled her. But it had to have been what drew Jack to him, because it was drawing her in.

The realization came to her one random evening. The team including Matty sat around the fire discussing their latest mission. Mac had just finished congratulating her on her assistance on what had truly been a masterful plan to get a pile of diamonds out of a bank, using ink packets, insulation and other odds and ends. They clinked glasses grinning as their eyes met and then it hit. And she laughed. She watched his face furrow in confusion though he smiled along with her, apparently just glad to see her laughing.

“What’s the joke Desi?” Bozer finally asked.

“Jack told me when he asked me to fill in, that I’d be here around the fire. Feeling like-like I’d come home.” Not something she normally said but she took a leap and was rewarded when they all just watched her intently. “I told him he was wrong and he said that Mac was tenacious.”

The blond man chuckled, his eyes seemed to be growing a little watery at the mention of the man.

“That sounds like Jack.” He finally said.

“He was irritatingly right on all points, especially about you.” Suddenly she felt like he needed to hear this. She’d seen his subtle shift in her direction and his focus tightening. He was desperate for any sort of talk of his friend but to-to something to bring it up. “He explained everything as the “Inner Workings of Mac”. I’ve been here nearly a year and I can’t think of a better way to describe it.”

He watched the fire but his face had a glow that she’d never seen before as he thought of the missing ex delta. Seeing the gazes of their friends, she knew that the look wasn’t new, it had just been absent. 

Now that she had accepted her place in their little family, she fell head first into everything. Riley and Bozer always talked with her and included her. If they didn’t go to Mac to talk about their problems, they went to her and she was happy to listen and give advice. They even seemed to like how blunt she got. Though she did try to be less rude about it. She had tried to be the same for Mac but one day, mid rant about a mission gone wrong, she realized he’d twisted it on her. Instead of her being his confident, he was hers. He listened when she needed, gave advice when she asked. They were close, read each other well in the field and in life. But she knew then that Jack was his partner and would be again. She hadn’t seen them work together but from the stories she’d heard they had been seamless. They were legendary in the Foundation. She knew she wouldn’t reach that level. She didn’t try, just filled in how she could and hoped the older man would come home soon. She’d miss them but the blond man needed his real partner. The man had to do a better job of taking care of him than she was. Mac had told her she was doing good and that no one could expect her to be like Jack. But Jack had and she had; now she realized it was an impossible feat. A once in a lifetime relationship and rappaport that no one could compete with. 

The longer Desi was with him, the more she understood the way he thought and became more fluid with him. But he still looked for Jack, she could read the disappointment when he wasn’t there on a particularly tough mission. She’d heard him almost call for the man before catching and correcting himself, when he was knee deep in a problem and had only moments to find the answer. She didn’t mention it and neither did he.

Desi would protect him, no longer because Jack hired her, but because she cared for him and wanted him safe and successful. When Jack returned it would be hard but she’d go back to her old life and leave his place for him again.


	45. Rough Cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac has an overwhelming need for a change, something he can control. Riley steps in to check on him and he discovers he may not be as alone as the thought.

The team stared, Mac knew they were staring, but they said nothing so neither did he. He was tired of having to be the mind reader, to know what they wanted or what they were going to ask before they did. If they wanted an answer they’d have to work for it, though he didn’t really have any real answer to their question. Any explanation he could give would be liable to set their worry off more than if he just let it lie and let them wonder. Matty’s eyes had been on him for a while too, but she pulled herself together and started to speak of the mission. Bozer and Desi were needed in the field. On this rare occasion, Mac was needed at the Foundation. 

He ran his hand through his roughly cut hair absently as he tilted his head listening and studying the map on the board. A bomb had been found somewhere in the heart of Africa. The bomb squad hadn’t seen anything like it so the Phoenix Foundation had been called in. There wasn’t enough time to get MacGyver to the bomb so he was going to have to try and guide someone through it. He didn’t like it, he’d rather be the one to pay for any mistakes that could happen and not a random person. But they had no choice and he couldn’t just leave them high and dry. As his boss spoke he reached out the screen and switched the angles to look over what he had to work with. It was nothing he had ever seen before but he already had a pretty good idea of where to start.

Mac tossed a finished paperclip art of a lion head in the table and picked up a pen and notebook instead and started running through some equations. He didn’t notice when Matty stopped speaking or when Bozer and Desi were forcefully dismissed. Riley remained with him, to help keep the connection between him and Major Carlson (his hands in the field) strong and consistent. To her credit she stopped staring and got to work but he could still feel her curiosity.

The day was long, he managed to get the timer to stop to give them more time to work with. He and the major had quickly gotten a rappaport and joked together as if they’d known each other for years.

“Alright Mac,” Carlson had said with a chuckle. “If this doesn’t kill me, I’m coming stateside and bringing you out for a large steak dinner.”

“Man, you’re doing all the work! You come stateside and I’ll buy you a steak dinner.” The blond agent said in return. “Alright so you’ll want to isolate the green wire and snip it. That should be the last step and then it can be disassembled and sent here to be studied.”

Once more his hand was scraping through his hair. The reason everyone was staring at him. Most of his life he’d had long hair. Even if it was only long bangs. The previous night, he’d been cleaning and fixing random things in the house. It was empty and quiet; though Bozer and Leanne had paused their plans to move in together, he pretty much lived at her apartment anyway. Desi came when the team came or if she needed someone to talk too privately and Riley was spending more time with her dad. Jack of course wasn’t there and it was times like this when the blond felt his absence most keenly. Of course the team still came often to hang out and have fires, but they had their own lives as they always had. He’d just always had Jack to fill the void. In the middle of cleaning the bathroom he’d stumbled upon a hair cutting kit that he had bought to use for an experiment once and then had been talked out of it by a certain worried ex delta. He’d studied the clippers for a long time before his gaze had fallen to a hair dying kit that Bozer had bought for some movie long ago. He didn’t know how long he’d sat staring between them before suddenly falling into action. He’d shaved the back and sides and trimmed the top to spike with a ruffle of his hand. Then he’d died the tips black. Mac had almost felt in a daze and when he’d finished and showered, he’d gone to bed. Waking up that morning he hadn’t remembered immediately what he had done and couldn’t figure out why his head felt so light. Then he’d entered the bathroom and found the evidence of his previous evening shoved in the trash can. He looked up at the mirror. Despite the fact he probably looked like an emo teenager, he had rather liked the color and spike to his hair.

Carlson snipped the green wire and the hum coming from the bomb stopped. Everyone around the major and in the room with Mac burst out in applause, what else could they do after such a tense several hours. Mac and Carlson exchanged a few more directions and pleasantries before the connection was finally cut. Then and only then did the blond agent allow himself to collapse in one of the chairs. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He remained like that for a few moments before something touched his hand and he startled opening one eye. Riley stood at his side, hand still hovering over his arm, giving him a concerned look. He did his best to muster up an encouraging smile but wasn’t sure how successful he was when her worry seemed to deepen.

“Are you alright Mac?” She asked gently, as if talking with a spooked animal rather than a human. He couldn’t bring himself to care though and simply nodded, pushing to sit up.

She backed out of his way and he got on his feet, turning his tired gaze to Matty and raising an eyebrow. 

“Go home blondie, take tonight and tomorrow. It was a long one.” Normally he would protest the extra day as unnecessary, but this time he kind of wanted it.

He flapped his hand at them and mumbled a goodbye before shuffling from the room. It was late and most of the building had already left for the day, so it didn’t take him long to walk through and out to his Jeep. He blasted the radio to keep himself awake until he pulled into his yard. Dragging, Mac let himself into the house. Normally Jack would take the opportunity to drag him into the kitchen and feed him up because “he was way too skinny as it was” and “the stress had caused him to lose more weight”. No amount of arguing had ever won him against post mission food. But Jack wasn’t here and Mac wasn’t hungry, so he shuffled off to his bed. Closing his bedroom door he made his way to his bed, kicking his shoes off and pulling off his jeans on the way. In his boxers and T-shirt he climbed between the sheets and almost immediately dropped off.

When Mac woke he felt dazed and off kilter. Blinking in the dark he fumbled into he managed to find his phone. Squinting as the little screen lit up, he saw he’d only been asleep for a couple of hours. Knowing he wasn’t likely to fall back to sleep so soon, despite how tired and out of it he was, he dragged himself out of bed and shuffled to his wardrobe. He pulled out a pair of sweats and pulled them on before pulling on a hoodie. Warmer and much more comfortable he padded out in search of a drink. Entering he saw the flicker of a fire from outside and stepped up to the back door to peak out. The rest of his team, including Matty all sat out around it. He was glad they felt comfortable using it without him and slipped back towards the kitchen so he didn’t disturb them. Pouring a glass of water he sipped it slowly as he absently stared out the front window. His eye caught his reflection and he found his short hair had taken on a life of his own. He shrugged and didn’t fuss with it, focusing back on the darkness outside.

Footsteps behind him, had Mac tilting his head back to look. Riley paused to study him, seeing his smile she took it as an invitation and moved closer.

“How are you feeling?” She asked as she leaned against the counter beside him. He held up a finger, mid drink. 

“Little better with some sleep. How are you doing?” Chastising himself for not asking her sooner. She shook her head with a fond exasperated smile.

“I’m fine. I wasn’t involved with the bomb, just the computers.” She chuckled then grew serious again. “Seriously though Mac, I know you’ve gotta be hurting because of, well because of a lot of things. But you go on as if nothing has changed. Or you did until your hair this morning.” She said sardonically eyes sliding up the spiked black and blond mess.

Mac took another drink to give himself time to think.

“I just needed a change.” He finally said with a shrug.

“You know, I know you told Desi that she didn’t have to be Jack. Couldn’t be Jack,” the hacker began and he tilted his head curiously at where the line of conversation was going. “You realize you also don’t need to be Jack right? You don’t have to carry everybody, and yourself. You can let us help you too.” She paused and shook her head. “What am I talking about, how you were Jack’s support. I’ve never seen anyone read him so well.”

Mac swallowed hard at that, he hadn’t really consciously thought about it that way, but he supposed it was true he was trying to fill those shoes. Shoes that Riley was right, he couldn’t fill. He closed his eyes and tilted his head down until a hand gently grabbing his wrist jolted him enough to look, in mild surprise. The hacker looked at him earnestly.

“I know none of us are him, I know we can’t read you like he can. We haven’t been in the same situation.” She said. “But we love you too and we’re here for you. If you let us.” She stressed the last sentence as brown eyes met blue. They stood in silence for a long time before Mac finally cracked a soft grin.

“I don’t know, I think someone else is doing a pretty good job reading me.” He looked down at her hand still clasped around his wrist. When she tried to pull away, he turned his hand and grabbed hers, twining their fingers together. She let him, meeting his eyes once more. 

“Well someone needs to keep an eye on you.” She smirked.

“How very Jack of you.” He mocked. They stood in companionable silence before he finally said. “Thank you Riley.” 

“Anytime Mac.” She replied tightening her grip for just a moment. Then added, “By the way, I’m totally digging the emo look.”

The blond agent laughed as he considered his friend. They’d bonded pretty quickly and pretty closely ever since he’d broken her out of jail. She’d become just as important as Jack and Bozer. But she was strong and stubborn. He supposed he could confide in her, if she reminded him too. Mac smiled sardonically. He did tend to get lost in his head and work.

He knew it would all work itself out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn’t meant to be Mac/Riley but I do like that pairing so if that’s how you read it, more power to you :).
> 
> Also I haven’t gotten over Jack leaving and if i haven’t I can’t believe Mac (Mr. CoDependent) has.


	46. Mirror Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So another about Mac missing Jack among other things. I haven’t gotten over it yet and as co-dependent as they are, I can’t imagine he actually is either...

Mirror mirror on the wall  
What do you see?  
I see someone barely hanging on

Mac waited until Desi disappeared around the corner and out of sight of his lab before he slumped forward and scrubbed his face tiredly. Sleep was pretty much a foreign entity to him, always had been. His mind was continuously working on something. Whether personal and emotional or one or his tinkering projects; it just never shut off. Then Jack had stepped into his life, well more like tackled, and he’d somehow figured it out. The blond had slept more in the past seven years, than he had since his mother was still alive. A photographic memory was both a blessing and a curse. But the man got him, even if he didn’t always understand.

Now he just thought about Jack being gone and in danger without him. He thought of his father, who didn’t want to try anything further to extend his life. He thought about his team who needed him to be strong and on his A game despite personal problems. And he thought about whoever was trying to kill Oversight. Night after night he studied the trigger that Matty had given to him. He figured out how it worked, it was ingenious, something he would likely come up with. But he still had no idea who and if his father had any inclination he wasn’t being forthcoming.

Mirror mirror on the wall  
How can I move on  
When everything around me is falling apart

No one came back to Mac’s lab after Desi left and he couldn’t help but feel relief. He didn’t want to have to pretend everything was ok. The rest of the day dragged but finally it was time to leave. He put his tools away neatly, though his projects remained strewn about the room, wherever he happened to leave them when inspiration struck elsewhere. Trading his lab coat for his bomber jacket, he hit the lights and walked out. Other than a couple nods and goodbyes he wasn’t stopped on his way out to the parking garage and Jeep.

Pulling out onto the main road he debated internally on where to go. Likely Bozer would spend the weekend with Leanne so there wasn’t much to go home too. He wasn’t sure he could face another forty eight hours alone knowing his partner was back in the war zone without him. Lost in thought his subconscious took over and he traveled further from home, out of LA. It wasn’t until he pulled up in front of his grandfathers cabin did he realize what he was doing. Running, but to somewhere he could be found. Could have been found, he corrected himself, if Jack were around. He doubted his father even knew to find him here. That’s if he was looking. They were doing better but it was still clear to Mac he wasn’t a priority and Oversight had disappeared on a mission without a word. He wouldn’t be searching for him.

Mirror mirror on the wall  
Wouldn’t it be easier just to fall  
To leave this place far behind  
It doesn’t seem anyone would mind

Years of instruction from his grandfather came drifting back and he slowly but surely got the camp opened up. Airing out the cabin, going deep in the forest to gather firewood and kindling. He stacked a neat pile in the little shed set on the porch, built for such a thing so they didn’t have to go looking all the time and the wood they did find remained safe from the elements. His mind cleared as he chopped to wood and soon he had the entire shed full and ready, despite the fact he only planned to be there over the couple day weekend. 

Going inside he stacked the wood in the fireplace and soon had it roaring. It was spring so there was still a chill in the air that was quickly pushed away. He went around to close the windows, the stuffiness having long been cleared away. Stepping into the kitchen he dug around for his grandfathers whittling set. Slowly he began to carve a block of wood, a shape starting to form though he wasn’t quite sure what it was yet. As he worked his mind wandered, to His father’s diagnosis and stubborn attempt not to help himself. To Bozer and Leanne who was sure were going to officially move in together at any time. To Desi and Riley who had their own lives and own friends. Finally his mind turned to his missing partner. The man’s face came to mind and his hand slipped. He stared down as blood dropped steadily from the cut on his hand. 

Mirror mirror on the wall  
I see someone ready to fall   
It’s hard to want to stay   
When no one sees me anyway 

The dark red filled his vision and the sting made everything else muted. He felt relief for the first time in weeks, felt like he was alive. His blue eyes fell to the knife in his hand and he stared at it. It would be so easy to do it again. In the right place and just have it be over with. It wasn’t the first time his mind had wandered to such dangerous territory. Right before he had met Jack, the thought had been a near constant presence in his mind. He wasn’t sure if the man hadn’t stepped into his life; he wouldn’t have done it.

A familiar hand crossed into his line of vision and took the handle of the blade in his hand. He could hear a soothing voice, couldn’t understand what it said but he didn’t need to to figure out what they wanted. Slowly he released it, eyes still glued to the gushing wound on his hand. He could hear the voice, it was becoming more insistent but he couldn’t seem to shake the fugue he was in.

Mirror mirror on the wall  
It’s just so hard   
To hard 

A stinging sensation in his face finally broke Mac of the mental loop he’d fallen into. His eyes jerked from his hand to in front of him and he finally saw it was Riley that had come. He had a moment of disappointment, that it wasn’t Jack before his brain came back online and he felt worry wash over him.

“Riley? Did something happen? Do I need to go back?” He stood and the world nearly faded to black but he blinked through it and stumbled towards her.

“Woah!” She said holding her hands up to steady him. “Mac! Sit down, please.” She added and he couldn’t help but obey though his mind still churned trying to figure out what could have brought her there.

“Is it Jack? Or did something happen with Bozer and Leanne?” He trailed off when he caught her staring at him with her jaw dropped slightly. Shaking her head she moved closer and picked up his hand, gently but firmly pressing a cloth on it to staunch the bleeding. He hissed but didn’t try to stop her, just stared and chewed his lip.  
She caught his look again and seemed to get overcome. She wrapped her free arm around his shoulders and squeezed.

“Jack was right, we really don’t deserve you.” She muttered and he found he didn’t have a response to such a baffling statement. How would they not deserve him? He was pretty certain that he didn’t deserve them. “Everyone is fine Mac, except for you.”

“Me? I’m fine!” He insisted automatically.

“Yea I’m going to go ahead and not believe you since I witnessed you bleeding with the knife still in your hand.” She snorted pulling back the towel. The bleeding seemed to finally have slowed so she dug into the first aid kit she must have pulled from the bathroom and began to clean and dress the wound. They remained in silence until the bandage had been applied. She released that hand but reached over and picked up his other ones, squeezing his fingers gently.

“Why are you here, Riley?” He finally asked, and he felt so tired and despondent. It was hard keeping up appearances all the time. The hacker heard the tone of course and her eyes crinkled with worry.

“To look for you, Mac. Why else would I be here?” She tilted her head.

“I got that Ri.” He managed a small smile. “Why were you looking for me, what can I do for you?” Her hurt expression had him trying to back peddle. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“ she cut him off with a wave of her hand.

“I knew what you meant. But you shouldn’t have had too.” She’d stumped him again so he remained silent, hoping she would explain. “You’re a good friend Mac...family even. You take care of all of us, make sure we have someone in our corner. We’ve come to rely on that so much that we forget you need the same.” Mac was glad to hear that they found they could rely on him and was quick to reassure her.

“I’m fine Ri!” He said reaching out and placing his hand over hers in an attempt to reassure her.

“I sincerely doubt that,” she said sadly. “And if you are that makes me more worried.” He opened his mouth to respond and found he had no idea what to say to that. She sighed and he felt a pang of guilt. 

“Mac; it’s on to not be ok.” She leaned closer and turned he hand to hold his fingers in her own, he squeezed back automatically and was glad to see a smile, fleeting though it was. “You’ve got a lot going on, and we haven’t had a break to really deal with any of it.”

That was true, they’d done one last mission and Jack had shipped off. Not even a full twenty four hours later Desi had come in and turned their team upside down. Then it had been mission after mission and they’d all been all over the world, not always together either.

“Look, I’m not very good at this but I need you to know something.” The hacker took a deep breath and the blond agent gave her his full attention, squeezing her fingers once more encouragingly when she seemed to stutter to a halt. Giving him a grateful glance, she spoke once more. “I owe you everything Mac.” She held up a hand to forestall any protests. “No, I do. You got me out of that jail cell and gave me a reason to go on. You let me come and hang out with you at all hours of the night when I couldn’t sleep, or in your lab or anytime really. No one's ever listened and understood the way you do. I would like the opportunity to do the same for you. I don’t want to replace Jack, never could. But I can be there for you too.” She finished looking him in the eye. 

 

Mac could read the uneasiness in her posture and knew from experience how difficult it was to be so open and honest. He didn’t want her to feel that way so he responded in the only way he figured would assure her. He began to tell her about everything that had been going on from his perspective and how he had been feeling. She remained seated, leaned close and engaged. By the time he was done he felt like a load had fallen off his shoulders, glancing at the clock he realized they’d also been sitting there for nearly two hours and winced.

“Would you like to stay?” He asked suddenly. Maybe they could both use a break and he liked having the company. She seemed surprised, so he hurried on. “For the weekend, I mean I understand if you have better things to do but I-“ he cut off when she laughed and placed her free hand over his mouth to silence him.

“I’d love to stay, Mac.” She smiled. “I’m starving though, is there anything to eat or do we need to do a supply run.”  
“I brought stuff for tonight, we’ll need to go to town tomorrow.” He was looking forward to showing her around.

Standing he went to start the food but paused.

“Hey Riley?” She looked up at him and he gave her a warm dimpled smile. “Thank you.” He said gratefully.

Mirror mirror on the wall  
Maybe it isn’t so hard  
With someone to see and hear you


	47. Happy Mother’s Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too much loss and too many lies sends Mac on a trip to see the one person who had always been in his corner. Despite the fact his mother wasn’t here anymore, he needed to be as close to her as he could.

The buzzing of his phone was finally irritating enough that Mac shut it off completely. He kept his eyes on the road as he did so and tossed the offending piece of machinery to the backseat of his Jeep where he could forget about it for a while. He’d already let Matty know that he would be out of contact for a few days. The older woman hadn’t questioned it, had simply given her blessing though she had stopped him just before he left the War Room.

“Mac?” He had paused and tilted his head to look back at her keeping his expression mild though inside he felt anything but. “Take all the time you need and...let me know if there is anything I can do.” He couldn’t help but give her a small smile.

“Thank you Matty.” He finally said before slipping out and off down the hall. His intent was to be gone before the rest of the team came in. He didn’t want to talk and give explanations, he just wanted to get out of the city before he suffocated. He knew they meant well, but not one of them could truly understand. Well, he amended, Desi might he wasn’t sure if her background, but he didn’t want to burden anyone anyway, so it was a moot point.

He had climbed into his Jeep, having already packed and been ready to leave the previous night, and pulled out of the Phoenix parking garage. The radio was on low, leaving him mostly with his thoughts as he traveled the familiar streets of LA. The first phone call came as he hit the freeway. He ignored it, didn’t even bother to glance down at his phone placed in the cup holder, to see who it was. It stopped and his thoughts drifted. Until the next time it rang. He wasn’t sure why it took him an hour to finally shut it off, maybe he liked knowing someone noticed he was missing. Made him feel less invisible. Something that he had battled with most of his life since...since his mother had died. But that was the whole point to this impromptu road trip. He’d only ever really felt like two people in the world truly saw him and they were both gone. Eyes burning and heart aching, he pushed it all back into one of the many boxes in his mind. Now wasn’t the time to fall apart, not when he had somewhere to be and no one else to drive.

Mac drove through the night, stopping once for gas and a Red Bull. He could hear a familiar Texan voice in the back of his mind chastising him for drinking it and risking a heart attack, rather finding a hotel and sleeping. But it would be a waste of money because sleep wouldn’t find him. Hadn’t found him since Charlie and Mason and his father’s huge reveal. He still shook with anger at the thought that his father had gotten an entire team killed to save him, while Charlie’s bloody fist beating on the window, sacrificing himself for hundreds more crept into his mind. Why was he still here? When such an amazing man wasn’t? Mac’s entire life was surrounded by death, had been since he’d lost his mother at the age of five, part of him wondered if he wasn’t cursed. But Charlie, Charlie had been especially hard because it had been his failure that had gotten the man killed. Having a photographic memory was both a blessing and a curse, in this case he had gone over the entire scene over and over since it happened, convinced if he had been smarter and faster he could have saved everyone. Mac had no doubt that he would face off with Mason again and next time he was determined to be prepared. He felt for the man’s loss but he wouldn’t allow the man to kill anyone else in his misguided attempt at revenge.

In the early hours of the morning, Mac finally reached his destination. Steering his Jeep through the familiar streets, he made his way up a large hill tucked through miles of trees. Gravel crunched under the tires of his Jeep as he approached a large white fence. The gate was closed but he wasn’t worried, he just pulled off to the side out of the way. Reaching back he picked up his other purchase from the gas station and climbed out. Locking it he was already pacing the fence scanning for a certain spot. There had always been a hole that he could duck under, though it had been many years. Luck seemed to be with the agent because rounding the corner he found the familiar gap. As he done dozens of times in the past, he got on his belly and wriggled his way under it, ignoring as the metal grabbed at his flannel shirt and bit at the exposed skin of his neck. He was glad he left his jacket in the car, not wanting to ruin it. Finally on the other side, he wiped as much of the mud, dirt and dew laden grass from his clothes as he could before standing and scanning the area. As far as the eye could see stood stones of varying sizes and shapes. The graveyard was silent and eerie, but he’d never been in one that hadn’t felt that way. His shoes squeaked in the grass as he paced through the rows with a solemn air, he’d walked it so often he could have done it in his sleep. The cemetery was unkempt and filled with weeds and long grass. He looked past it in his search.

A familiar rose colored stone came into view and he found his steps quickening until he reached it and dropped to his knees, weak as he read the name printed across it. With a shaky hand he reached out to trace the letters.

Ellen “Jackson” MacGyver  
B. February 1, 1964 D. September 12, 1994  
Loving mother and wife  
“Life is one big adventure”

That had been her favorite quote, he could remember her telling it to him all the time, whenever he was sad or angry. It had been one of the deciding factors in leaving school and joining the army. Being stuck in a classroom wasn’t an adventure, but using his mind and skills to save people; that had been. He wondered if she knew what her husband had done for work, wondered how she would feel knowing her son had inadvertently followed in his footsteps.

“Hey mom.” He said quietly, placing the single red rose on top of the stone before resting his hand back on the face of it. “Sorry it’s been so long. It’s difficult to come back here and face all the memories.” There were good ones but there were even more bad ones. Home was a difficult subject. He didn’t like facing all the emotions that went along with coming back. But he thought he owed it to her and maybe to himself, to try. “I wish I knew what to do. Jack, my partner, well he was and he will be when he gets back. I told him he didn’t have a choice but to come back safe since I couldn’t go with him.” He paused choked up at the thought of his missing friend but coughed and continued, determined to get it all out. “He’d know, he’d be able to look right through me and tell me. So would you, you always could.” 

When the bullies had pushed him to the limit, she’d always have a hug and a pep talk. She made him feel on top of the world once more.

“I found dad. I was so angry but I knew you’d want me to try. Jack did, and so I did try. I thought we were doing well, maybe patching things up. I don’t know as we would ever be as close as you wanted us to be. As close as I wanted when I was little, but I thought we were getting somewhere. Then I find out that he stayed out of my life for twenty years and he was still manipulating it. He got a team of people killed to get me out of a situation. I don’t know what’s worse, that they all died for one person when I was prepared to die, or the fact that I can’t believe he did it to protect me because I’m his son but because my brain makes me an asset to Phoenix. I thought we’d come so far but now, if I still believe things like that. How far have we really come? He’s got cancer, likely terminal and I should be there. But I can’t.”

Mother MacGyver had always gushed over what a gentle soul he was and how forgiving. He wouldn’t even hurt a fly if he could help it, preferring to set the creatures free outside. But here he was, pushing his dying father back out of his life. How proud could she be of him now. The bottled up emotions pushed at his barrier and this time he let them through, tears trickling down his cheeks.

“Why does everyone always leave? What did I do?” He gasped. “You, then dad, grandpa and even Bozer for a while. Pena died when I should have, now Charlie has too. Jack is gone and I just..I feel lost.” He braced his hands against the stone as he bent under the weight of his grief. His mother's blurryface flashing before his eyes. It was always a sore spot that despite his impeccable memory he had difficulty pulling up the face of the person who had meant the most to him. He didn’t know how he was going to get back up off the ground, never mind back to work where he had to face all the loss and any to come in the future. 

“I wish you were here, mom.” He sobbed out loud. It was a wish he’d had since she passed, but not one he’d ever admitted out loud until that moment. If he could just see her and talk to her, maybe everything would be ok. But she was out of his reach, and nothing he could do would bring her back. He’d tried plenty in the years since her death, until his grandfather had sat him down and gently but firmly told him he had to move on. It had been a hard pill to swallow but he had. Or he thought he had, as the waves of anguish washed over him now, just reading his mother’s name, he wasn’t so sure he hadn’t just postponed the inevitable.

Mac leaned heavily against the stone, his tears slowing and lack of sleep catching up to him. Deciding this was as good a place as any to sleep, he slumped against it fully and closed his eyes. As he drifted in and out of wakefulness he thought he felt a hand running through his hair and a kiss against his forehead.

“I love you Gus, you always have me.” His mother's voice echoed in his mind and he wanted to reach out for her, but he couldn’t see her and he couldn’t move. Instead he let the words wash over him and the warmth spread through him, soothing him as much as anything could.

When Mac became aware again, he quickly realized he couldn’t be in the graveyard any longer. He was laying on something soft with a pile of blankets on top of him and there was a clatter in the background. The smell of fresh brewing coffee was what finally had him forcing his eyes open, though he’d much rather stay in the abyss with his mother’s voice. Glancing around he recognized being in one of the suite rooms at one of the motels in town. Eyebrows furrowed he sat up trying to figure out how he had gotten there. Nothing and no one jumped out at him immediately. Suddenly wondering if his father had tracked him, he sighed and stood up, wrapping a blanket around himself to fight off the chill he felt coursing through him and trailed into the little kitchen to have a look. The clatter was a bowl of some kind buzzing around in the microwave and he spotted the fresh coffee with two mugs waiting in front of it to be filled. Automatically he went over and did that, though he froze unsure how to make the second glass up. He generally drank his black. Deciding to leave it as was, he picked one of them up and took a drink, ignoring the burn as it settled in his stomach and warmed him up for a bit.

Footsteps came from behind him and he absently turned to have a look. A gasp escaped him and his mug clattered to the ground. He ignored the hot coffee soaking into his feet as he stared at the person that he both most expected and least expected to be there. He couldn’t seem to get his brain back online and gaped. There was a soft curse and he was being yanked out of the pile of coffee. He stared down at the hand on his wrist. It felt real enough, so he dragged his gaze up again.

“Jack!” He finally cried and tackled the man in a hug before he had a chance to respond. Automatically he felt familiar arms wrap around him and squeeze tightly. He stood gripping his missing partner before pain in his feet had him shifting back and forth uncomfortably. He heard a soft huff before Jack was picking him up and carrying him, protesting, into the bedroom area. “I can walk.” He said crossly.

“I found you sleeping in a graveyard, sans jacket and just rescued you from a puddle of hot coffee. Forgive me if I don’t trust your judgment just now.” The ex delta replied dryly as he set his partner on the bed and glared at him to keep him there. Mac sighed and rolled his eyes, but so pleased to see his partner he sat back obediently. The older man cracked a grin and ruffled his hair, chuckling as he ducked his head mutinously before disappearing into the bathroom.

Mac reached down and pulled his socks off. The bottoms of his feet were an angry red but neither seemed to be bad enough to blister. He glanced up when Jack clicked his tongue, having returned with a first aid kit in hand. He gently took his partners feet in his hands, one at a time looking them over before putting a burn cream on and wrapping them in ace bandages.

“Isn’t that a bit overkill?” Mac asked voice gruff after all the emotional upheaval.

“Well we’re going to be here for a while, so better safe than sorry.” Jack replied cleaning the supplies up and disappearing back into the bathroom.

“Come to think of it, I don’t remember there being first aid kits in the room last time we stayed.” He was siting the time they’d all come when he’d spoken in his teachers class. He heard a snort and Jack reappeared.

“That’s because I brought it with me. Rule number one if MacGyver sitting, always be prepared for injury.” Mac scoffed but could hardly argue, choosing to glare halfheartedly instead. Jack disappeared into the kitchen, likely to clean up the spill. When he returned he had the bowl from the microwave and a glass of water. He moved over and set them in the bedside stand within Mac’s reach. “Eat. Drink.” He ordered before backing up to sit in a nearby easy chair. But the blond couldn’t seem to take his eyes off his partner.

“What are you doing here? He finally blurted out before wincing at how it had come out and tried to backpedal. “I’m glad to see you of course I just-“ Jack held up his hand to stop him and he snapped his jaw shut, watching him closely. 

“I asked for leave. Today is always a tough day for you, but given the progress reports I’ve been getting from Desi.” Jack gave Mac a pointed look then and he coughed and cleared his throat. They talked often but Mac always kept the focus on Jack so he didn’t have to tell him the mess his life was in and worry him while he was out on such a risky mission. “Well I knew I had to be here and it’s a good thing I was. Riley left me a message while I was in the air, frantic. They had no idea where you were. I had a pretty good idea so I borrowed a Phoenix helicopter and here I am.”

“I told Matty I’d be gone.” Mac said in a small voice.

“Yes and I’ll be having words with our esteemed leader for letting you go off alone in that state.” The man snorted darkly.

“I’m an adult Jack.” He said in exasperation, though he didn’t know why. He really did appreciate the man and his concern. 

“Really? Could have fooled me.” The man snapped back. Mac felt a flash of irritation but it went away just as quickly and he sighed slumping.

“I just needed time, I needed to see..” he trailed off.

“Your mom, I know kid.” Jack finished for him. “Nothing wrong with that especially after the bombshell Oversight dropped on you.” He flinched at that.

“Who told you?” He asked wearily.

“Matty.” He said simply. “She knew I was coming and wanted to prepare me I guess, maybe hoping I wouldn’t go and kill the man.” He ground out the last bit. Mac gave him a watery smile which he returned brightly. “So what would you like to do, while we’re here?” He finally asked. Mac pondered for a moment before smiling.

“I do have one idea…”

—

Bright and early the next morning Mac and Jack pulled up to the cemetery, the back of his Jeep filled with supplies. They climbed out and unloaded, first the lawn mower and weed whacker. Bickering about who would get to do what as if the last few months hadn’t happened. The rumble of a car broke them off and they both swiveled around to squint in the early morning light. Mac gave Jack a look but he shrugged, he had no idea who was coming either. They watched silently, though Jack stepped forward to take a protective stance in front of his partner. Mac craned his neck to look over the man’s shoulder as the car got closer. They both relaxed and smiled when they recognized the figures seated inside.

“You guys are up way too early.” Riley complained as she climbed out of the car first, almost before Desi had time to put it in park. Bozer stumbled out of the back, clearly less awake than she was though he managed a half hearted smile.

“What are you guys doing here?” The genius and ex delta asked together.

“Jinx!” Mac said immediately and Jack stuck his tongue out at him.

“I’ll give you a coke kid.” He said before reaching out and grabbing him in a headlock, ruffling his hair despite his protests. When he finally released him, both chuckling they looked up to find the rest of the team staring at them. Riley and Bozer looked on fondly, like everything was right in the world. Desi’s was unreadable but then that was generally how she was so he didn’t think anything of it.

“Sorry.” Mac apologized with a sheepish smile. “But seriously what brings you guys out here?” He asked again. He saw Jack roll his eyes out of the corner of his eye and elbowed him playfully, earning and oof for his efforts. Riley approached first surprising him when she hugged him tight.

“For you of course.” She pulled back and looked at him. “You told me not too long ago that I wasn’t alone. Because I have you and Desi and Bozer. That works both ways bub.” He poked him in the chest. “I’m here for you. We all are.” She waved her hand to include the others. She hugged him once more before moving so the other two could have their turn. Instead she turned to Jack who smiled and held his arms open.

“Come here sugar.” He said and she needed no more prompting before hugging him tightly.

“Jack tasked me with protecting you, I can’t do that if I don’t know where you are.” Desi said by way of greeting. 

“I’m pretty sure I mentioned he was squirrely and you needed to be on your A Game!” The man protested. 

“What he said.” Mac replied shrugging and grinning. 

“No wonder you two are close.” She sighed in exasperation through a small smile played at her lips. “You’re both self sacrificing idiots.” She said it fondly patting his shoulder before being shoved aside by Bozer who scooped Mac up and hugged him tightly.

“Can’t. Breath. Boz.” Mac gasped patting his back.

“Sorry- Sorry!” The lab tech said placing him back on his feet. “Did you see your mom yet?” He asked studying his friend closely.

“Yesterday.” Mac confirmed. They stood in silence for a moment before a throat clearing grabbed all their attention.

“What’s say we get started hoss, then we can eat in that wonderful diner in town.” Jack finally said having moved back to the Jeep and finished unloading everything.

“You just like Delly.” Mac snorted sighting the waitress Jack had flirted shamelessly with the last time they’d been there.

“And the burgers. Love the burgers.” The man said picking up the weed whacker and fiddling with it to get it ready for use.

Mac went for the lawn mower pushing it towards the gate, which stood open this time. He and Jack had paid a late night visit and asked permission to clean up the cemetery. The overworked cleric was only to happy to agree. 

The cemetery was large so they each took turns mowing and weed whacking, while the others raked and planted some flowers around the edges. The sun was high in the sky and it was well past lunch time by the time they had finished. Mac stood once more in front of his mothers stone. Jack stood off in the distance, watchful and there if he needed him but giving him privacy. The others were out loading everything back into the Jeep. After a long moment he shuffled closer and placed his hand on top of the stone.

“I know you had a hand in bringing him back for a few days. Thank you.” He whispered, swallowing hard. “Happy Mother’s Day mom.”

He thought he could hear her laughter in the breeze as he approached his best friend, ready to face the world again.


End file.
